superkret @ superkret @feddit.org

*There were shadowy conspiracists lurking in the dark alleys of Washington,

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195

Comments

6,600

Joined

1 yr. ago

Holy fuck no!

yes

I have spinach in my freezer that lasted longer than the Confederacy.

"brauchen" ist natürlich immer so eine Sache. Es war mal ein richtiges Handwerk, mit ganz vielen Regeln, welche Blumen womit zu welchem Anlass was aussagen.
Man konnte mit einem Blumenstrauß ganze Geschichten erzählen.
Juckt heute natürlich niemanden mehr.

yes. you expect the third one to be the cleverest and then he isn't.

I... have no idea what you're trying to say, sorry.

3 guys are hiking through the woods when they find a lamp.

One of them picks it up, rubs it, and out pops a Genie.
It booms "You have finally freed me after all these years, so I'll grant each one of you 3 wishes."
The first guy immediately blurts out "I want a billion dollars."
POOF, he's holding a printout that shows his account balance is now in fact 1,000,000,003.50

The second man thinks for a bit, then says "I want to be the richest man alive."
POOF, he's holding papers showing his net worth is now well over 100 billion.

The third guy thinks even longer about his wish, then says "I want my left arm to rotate clockwise for the rest of my life."
POOF, his arm starts rotating.

The Genie tells them it's time for their second wish.

First guy says: "I want to be married to the most beautiful woman on earth."
POOF, a stunning beauty wraps herself around his arm.

Second guy says "I want to be good-looking and charismatic, so I can have every girl I want."
POOF, his looks change and the first guy's wife immediately starts flirting with him.

Third guy says "I want my right arm to rotate counter-clockwise until I die."
POOF, now both his arms are rotating, in opposite directions.

The genie tells them to think very carefully about their third wish.

First guy does, and after a while says "I never want to become sick or injured, I want to stay healthy until I die."
POOF, his complexion improves, his acne is gone and his knees don't bother him any more.

Second guy says "I never want to grow old. I want to stay 29 forever."
POOF, he looks younger already.

Third guy smiles triumphantly and says "My last wish is for my head to nod back and forth."
POOF, he's now nodding his head and still flailing his arms around.

The genie wishes them good luck, disappears, and the men soon go their separate ways.

Many years later they meet again and chat about how things have been going.

First guy is ecstatic: "I've invested the money and multiplied it many times over, so me and my family will be among the richest of the rich pretty much forever. My wife is a freak in the sheets, and I've never gotten so much as a cold in all these years."

Second guy smiles and says "Well, I built charities worldwide with a fraction of my wealth, I'm still the richest guy alive and also revered for my good deeds. I haven't aged a day since we last met, and yes, your wife is pretty wild in bed."

Third guy walks in, flailing his arms around and nodding his head, and says:

"Guys, I think I fucked up."

Are they?

I mean yes, they wrote decisions on pieces of paper saying things the Trump admin did was illegal, but did that actually stop anything?

Never seems to miss the Stupidity Briefings, though.

Sorry, Excel can't hear you.

I applaud your optimism. But anyone resisting ICE with armed force will be killed by a SWAT team and immediately branded a terrorist by all the media.

And they'll all be back next week, simply because it's the most convenient for them to drive to.

I like sig figs and I cannot lie

Tesla probably skipped half that, the die stamp machine is from a dumpster in Detroit, and employees are expected to shit at a Starbucks during their break.

WTF can you link this?

There's no way in hell 2007 was 18 years ago.

Then provide an "other" option with a text box instead.
Make entering some text mandatory if you click it.
No one gravitates toward that.
Besides, a "none" option can just be discarded when you analyze the data.
If all your boxes are social media sites, you have no idea which ones are poisoned by bad data, and by how much.

This is my rifle
This is my nun
This is for shooting
This is for fun

It’s crazy that in 2025 hardly anyone is pointing it out.

Are you living under a rock?