I'm obsessed with the idea of being an affectionate and loving boyfriend and I HAVE to gush about it
sprigatito_bread @ sprigatito_bread @lemmy.world Posts 24Comments 59Joined 11 mo. ago
sprigatito_bread @ sprigatito_bread @lemmy.world
Posts
24
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Joined
11 mo. ago
I'm obsessed with the idea of being an affectionate and loving boyfriend and I HAVE to gush about it
I'm obsessed with the idea of being an affectionate and loving boyfriend and I HAVE to gush about it
I'm obsessed with the idea of being an affectionate and loving boyfriend and I HAVE to gush about it
I'm obsessed with the idea of being an affectionate and loving boyfriend and I HAVE to gush about it
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I just struggle to comprehend what those issues actually could be in concrete terms. I sort of exaggerated my speech on purpose just for fun, so that's probably where a lot of the "crazy" impression comes from. And I've never actually been in a relationship, so there's nothing to go off of there. Am I ACTUALLY overly attached and clingy? Or am I just bad at writing and my post just made a bad impression? We don't know.
Like sure, I probably come across as weird and could do more to think about the actual nitty-gritty of a relationship rather than embellishing raw feelings, but other than that, I don't know what the actual problem is other than "This guy sounds weird."
Maybe because of the way I came across, people perceive everything I say to have a double-meaning, where caring for someone means wanting to control them and wanting to show kindness means wanting to lure people in. Maybe a lot of what I said isn't bad in principle, but because I said them weirdly, I look like some kind of serial killer psychopath or creepy incel freak. I'm just too uncanny valley to be a "normal" person, so EVERYTHING I said loses its innocence and gets tainted with "What does he REALLY mean by that?"
Because if I were to tell someone what my feelings were, I'd say that I want to be a romantic partner for someone, to care and be cared for, to work together and make decisions as a team, and to continually improve myself so that I can best fulfill my duty as a partner. Sure, I may feel strongly about those feelings from time to time, but that's ultimately what they are. Is that bad? Is that something I should go to therapy for? Or have I simply expressed these feelings in a way so unconventional and distorted that it comes across as creepy?
Either way, this has been a fascinating and unexpected exploration of "What happens when I miscommunicate or misrepresent myself in a horribly disastrous fashion?"