Well, turns out it isn't hall effect. I tore it down and cleaned it out. It works and doesn't squeak now, hut the clicky button part still doesn't work. The nice part is that the joystick isnt soldered on the board or anything. It's completely standalone, so I could order a new one and replace it for very cheap.
I'm going to when I get home. I spilled coffee on it on my way to work, and I noticed it squeaking while I was trying to kill time a few hours later. It's a hall effect sensor so it should be a simple cleaning and itll be better.
I spilled coffee on my retroid and now the left joystick squeaks when I use it. Truly this is the peak of human suffering. 
I've been actively trying. There are a lot of other jobs around that pay the same or more. I just really needed to vent all of that. 
Not really. We have an open position at a different location and it showed up on their dashboard as a good candidate. They passed it over to my boss, who then confronted me.
cw depressive work venting
Work has me extremely bummed out recently. I got hurt a few weeks ago on the job. Ultimately it was nothing, just a few big bruises on my legs and chest. But it could have been so much worse. I was plodding a long behind a building and fell into a sump pit full of runoff and sewage. I didn't even know it was there. It should have had a grate over it, but it didn't, and I couldn't see it because the water was just over the brim. Minding my own business and suddenly I'm over my head in sewage, gear oil, and parking lot runoff.
I was forced to stay late and go there. It was a Friday. I wanted to go home. But no instead I fell in a pit, ruined my uniform and soaked my boots. I have a change of clothes but not a change of boots so I had to finish the job in soggy boots. All in all, the whole experience made me severely rethink what I'm doing and my job.
I was already planning on looking for a new job soon, and this whole experience turbocharged my resolve. So I updated all my contact info and resume and started applying. A week later I got confronted because I left my resume as searchable on indeed and my boss was pissed. I had to walk everything back and pinky promise I was happy with my job.
Ever since I've been in a weird depressive funk. I'm starting to feel better and shit but idk I'm still pretty upset about it all. There are a few jobs that have called me back but I'm still waiting on an interview with any of them. I'm so tired of coming home tired. I'm so tired of hiding who I am. Its hard to want to show up to a place that laughs at you when you could have drowned. It's so hard to want to show up at a place that would fire you for coming out as gender non-conforming.
I just followed along with a YouTube tutorial after asking the few girls I've come out to for brand recommendations.
Yeah now that I have an idea what I need, I can start watching for sales. I'm looking forward to the holidays because I am sure there will be plenty of sales. I'm especially looking for a bigger eyeshadow palette. That's the one thing I didn't get yesterday while I was out. I got a smaller ELF one with 10 colors, but I want more hahaha.
Naaahhhh it's taken me months to get the courage, and I left the isle at the first place I went a bunch of times because someone came down it. But I survived and it was totally worth it. 
I know the feeling. It's taken me months to work up the courage. You'll get there tho.
Well chat, I did it. I went into public and bought makeup. Holy shit is it expensive. However! I survived and it turned out great! I've taken about 30 selfies since I finished it so I must have done something right!
I think I'm actually finally going to go makeup shopping today. I have a few hours to kill this afternoon between Dr appointments and I can't think of a single thing that would be a better use of my time.
He identifies as demi/grey. But that's ever harder to explain to her. He tried to, but she was even more confused.
Thanks for the well wishes! The good has definitely outweighed the bad so far. My night out was easily one of the best nights of my life.
Legitimately it's absolutely hilarious. I was so amused when he told me her reaction.
YOU DONT WANT SEX?!?!
This is 100% how it went. She was like "ok I guess that wake is a girl now, but what do you mean you don't want sex and never have? "
Yeah I was kinda done being nice. Up to that point I was generally letting things slide simply because I didn't want to upset my mom. We have a very good relationship, and I was trying my best to keep things cordial. But the time had come to bluntly tell her that I wasnt going to tolerate it anymore. I'm a fully grown adult who is self sufficient. I don't want to go no contact, but I can if that's the choice they make. I made it clear it was her choice to make. She would be the one to decide. She can get with it, or I can go away. Going NC is 100% not something I want to do. But if she can't respect me, then I have no obligation to speak to her.
She apologized and told me all her struggles and worries. But ultimately those struggles and worries are hers to deal with, and they don't mean she can't respect me in the meantime.
Geeze a lot has happened since the last time I posted. It's been an eventful and transy month for me. Let's see, where to begin?
long winded recap of the last month
My husband told his mom and sister about me. He wanted to be the one to break the news, so I left it up to him. His sister is absolutely fine with it, but I knew she would be. His mom is I guess confused but ok with it. She's way more confused about him being ace than me being trans. His brother is another story. We aren't telling him for a while.
I confronted my mom. I came out to her a few months ago, but she keeps misgendering me and stuff on the phone. She was in town so I flat out told her this is happening and I'd like it if she got with the program. She's doing better since our talk, but she still keeps misgendering me, but I think that's more habit than malicious.
I have my second appointment with at the awesome gender clinic tomorrow. It will most likely be my last because they are closing in a few months. Which is extremely sad. However, I'm still excited to go. I had blood work last week and got my results yesterday and my levels are fantastic. E was at 213, while t was just 6. Big win for IM estrogen and bica. It's been 3 months now officially and things are coming along nicely. I'm pretty sure I have the titty growing gene cause these things are starting to be a whole situation.
And for the most memorable thing that happened in the last month is that my husband and I went and saw one of our favorite bands. He found the band back in February, right after I came out to him and he was still struggling with it. The band is a folk band called Tophouse, and almost all their songs are sappy little love songs. I absolutely love them, and my husband credits them for helping him accept me and us and our future. He got us the tickets in March as a sign of his acceptance and it's kinda been a milestone approaching that I've been looking forward to for a long time.
Anyway, we got a really cool hotel room for the night. The venue was outdoors, in the queer part of town. The weather was incredible. The band was absolutely fantastic. I ended up crying like 4 times out of pure joy because of how much the night meant to me. E is a hellofa drug because I've never cried like that in my life. Afterwards we went bowling because the hotel our room was in had a vintage bowling alley in it. We were the only ones there and it was so fun and really special. He even put my girl name on the scorecard. All in all the night was really special and I love him so much.
Beyond all of that, I've started looking for a new job. I need to get out of the blue collar trades. I don't want to work on an industrial environment around chuds anymore. What little patience I had for them has completely evaporated and I'm so tired of coming home covered in scrates and bruises from the work. There are a few data centers being built nearby, and tho I don't want to contribute to that for ethical reasons, it would be a nice way to change careers in the short term.
Anyway, my ramble is over. One last thing tho:
I love my trans comrades!
The drums and horns in this go so fucking hard!
No matter how shitty I'm feeling, this song always manages to get me pumped up and ready to take on the world.
This is for the like 4 people here that might be interested. I want to start a Hexbear Racing League and hotlap leaderboard. How I imagine the leaderboard will work is like this: post your system and game, the track, the car, and the track conditions. Then post proof of the lap time. I will curate the lap times into a spreadsheet/document that we can all see, and I will update it as new laps come in.
Other racers may then challenge your hotlap time. This will force people to use cars on tracks they may not be familiar with, but that's how we get better. Also, it's helpful to see how someone else's line affects their time.
I might also set up a discord if there is enough interest in it to facilitate the need. If we can get enough people interested in it, I would like to start a regular extremely low stakes live event for us to race against each other. I think this could be a fun way to meet some new people and have a good time.
So to start things off, here is my submission: PC/Assetto Corsa 1; 4:57 on the fan made Battenbergring in the Alfa Romeo 33 Stradale. Track conditions are dry with 100% grip. This isn't my personal best, but it's within a second of it and I didn't record that so I'm not submitting it. I need to work on my heel toe and I know I'm leaving time on the table around those hairpins and through the village.
Edited to post a link to the free download for the track https://www.racedepartment.com/downloads/battenbergring.51838/
Edit: Edit: There is a post in the comments that has a ping list, comment on it if you'd like to be pinged when someone submits a new lap or challenge to an existing lap.
And to clarify, please feel free to submit your own personal best on whatever track and whatever game. Just notate your system or console, the track, track conditions, the car, and the time. I'll keep track of them and I'm sure someone will want to try to beat it. I will need some kind of proof. A vid is best since then I get free racing content from some of my favorite people.
Wake [she/her, they/them] @hexbear.net I'm the poster formerly known as mehrunes_laser