I am not talking about violating consent. I am not saying I would expect somebody to continue to touch me if I say no, or keep calling me if I asked them to stop. I agree that sort of game is dangerous and in itself a violation.
What I am saying, is that "playing hard to get" is a consequence of inherent features in cishet dating.
- I have an unlimited supply of men willing to pursue me.
- There pursuing me and expressing want for me is a necessary component of my want for them.
- I want a long term passionate relationship with somebody who is really into me.
- A man's willingness to pursue me is, to some degree, a function of how much he is into me.
All of these things mean it behooves me to allow them space to compete on this component, after I've sorted out the ones I might like for non behavioral reasons (appearance mostly)
I apologize if it came across that way. Perhaps it would help if I put it in more personal terms.
I am a conventionally attractive cishet NT women. The amount of opportunities I have to service men with whom I have no personal connection sexually, even nearing 40, are so vast I wouldn't even consider putting effort into pursuing such a thing even if I wanted it.
I don't pursue men sexually because I have no innate attraction toward men for them just existing. Even ones who are also conventionally attractive. What I do respond to, a multivariate arrangement of things, some of which you might assume are informed by the patriarchy, which I would disagree with. Also by the response to the man pursuing me in such a way that affirms my value, makes me feel "sexy" and thus allows me to even be receptive to the idea of sex.
In the absence of these factors, my sex drive would be confined to masturbating every 3 days when I have difficulty sleeping, and since I'm haven't blown out my dopamine receptors on ass to mouth fivesomes, I can do this in under a minute without thinking about anything. It's like taking a shit. It's not even a "sex drive" in the sense that I want sex. My sexual fantasies are derivative of a man desiring me. My desire for sex is separate from my the frustration of not having sexual release.
And I'm sure there's people on here that are going to call this "demi sexual" or some sort of weird "pillow princess kink" or whatever. But this, unfortunately, is a pretty typical manifestation of cishet female sexuality. This is evidenced in patterns in all manner of female dominated erotica, and it is apparent when observing female behavior broadly.
Because of this, women are not generally going to line up to perform sexual favors for men that have not illustrated both their desirably as a sexual partner, and their particular desire for the woman in question. Some might, but the number of women that are receptive to doing this at any point in time is far lower than the men that are interested in being serviced sexually, for free, without effort.
Saying that there are innate reasons these aggregate differences exist is not "incel shit" and saying you should consider meeting women where they are is not "pull yourself up by your bootstraps"
If OP had expressed alienation with modern dating apps and a longing to make a connection with somebody that would be one thing. But that is not the frustration OP is expressing.
I do not believe what I am describing is a kink. This is how most cishet women with an assortment of options think, in my experience
To a limited degree, but that doesn't mean that OP is going to have more opportunities, it just means that more casual sexual opportunities might exist. I'm sorry this is such a controversial idea here, I'm really shocked to be honest. But women are not depriving you of sexual favors solely because they are afraid of getting pregnant, or being slut shamed, or out of cruelty, or even as a power play.
The desire for sex is in large part a response to being desired by a desirable person. And the only solution to that is to adopt behaviors that are deemed desirable to the people you want, and illustrating that desire through ways that are meaningful to the people you want. I can sympathize with the idea that this is more taxing on one sex than the other in cishet dating. But after just finishing up multiple rounds of multiple physical therapies after giving birth to a child forgive me if I'm not inclined to think that men have it worse than women or that they are somehow to blame for the fact that I can't do burpees without wearing adult diapers
How is this incel shit and what OP is saying isn't? I'm genuinely confused. You have men* on here talking about women like they're resources, and talking about appealing to women like it's a unfair game. Like there isn't a sentient human on the other side of this equation with imperatives and desires. I'm really shocked and disappointed with this place.
When men chase me, it makes me feel desirable. Unfortunately, feeling desirable is a necessary component for my arousal. Without having the affirmation of pursuit to respond to, my sex drive is pretty low and more like a biological need like taking a shit. I barely notice it until I'm physically uncomfortable after a few days and then the most reliable way of taking care of it is masturbation. Another way of looking at it is that my desire for sex is not the same as the desire for orgasm, and the desire for sex only exists in the context of believing that sex with me is somehow particularly valuable to the prospective partner.
I'm a cishet woman. But it's nice to know what so many "leftists" on here think of me
The patriarchy is not the reason he isn't getting his dick wet. The patriarchy is not the reason most women don't want to have NSA sex with somebody who doesn't even want to bother to seduce them. if anything, the patriarchy has been subsidizing men like this by giving them proportionately more access to resources and power, thus obliging women who don't desire them into having sex with them in exchange for access to these resources. The elimination of patriarchy will not fundamentally change the biological reality undergirding OPs "problem".
How is this like liberalism? Women are not resources and they are not skimmed off the majority of people who produce them. They are people.
Women have expensive gametes, lower sex drives and responsive desire. Men have cheap gametes and the whole mechanism of sexual reproduction is that most of them are to die in order speedrun natural selection without costing as much energy. This is an innate biological reality, it is not a product of the patriarchy. If anything patriarchy subsidizes male desire. Sometimes what is just isn't the best thing for your PP. I'm sorry.
He isn't talking about dating, he's talking about masturbating with somebody else body and doesn't even want to go through the pageantry that is often required to land oneself in a such a favorable and asymmetrical situation.
Do you really expect cishet women to be sympathetic to somebody who bristles at the idea of appealing to women sexually in order to gain sexual access to them without any strings attached?
Who made you believe that there would be a soft market for NSA sex which cishet women generally don't care for? Have you thought about getting a girlfriend and considering maybe what you have to offer her?
I've been seeing some of these getting cleaned up. It's probably as simple as IP addresses of known review farms or from the same IP of the business account.
I've been seeing some of these getting cleaned up. It's probably as simple as IP addresses of known review farms or from the same IP of the business account.
I suspect a lot of casualties are psychological in nature, but this isn't American Jewry; they are less inclined to talk about it.
I think maybe one or two of those is organic, but some of them are paid to do that. Why? I dunno. That's how some of the body language looks to me last couple times
I've been saying this for a while, and it seems to be the one piece most online commentary I've been seeing misses, even in leftist spaces.
I wouldn't entirely blame Blinken though, even though he is Mossad. The entire state department, department of defense, and defense industry are all one blob at this point with zero oversight and they're all trying to get one last supper before the gravy train has to stop.
I recall an failed Elizabethan assassination attempt that might be applicable here
Interesting history mentioned in the article about the previous failures, often referred to as the 80 year curse. Now, I love shit like curses, I feel like I thought "I" was a curse once when I had a 20 year salvia trip that everyone else just blinked through. But, I don't actually think it's a curse. Or it's Netanyahu.
6000 years ago many, if not most, religions were ethnoreligions, but now they are not. Just like 10000 years ago most people were hunter gatherers and now they are not.
How does one spread an ethnoreligion? The only way is ethnic cleansing. The only way to gain influence is pure violence, even by ancient standards. There are no political marriages, there's no treaties, there's only violence. Even against reproductive age women. All gains and occupations can only be maintained with continued endogamy, proportionately higher birth rates, and more violence.
The only time this worked in a sea of more efficient political arrangements was a window immediately following the bronze age collapse, when there was a couple hundred years (a salvia trip by ancient standards) of ethnic cleansing before failure. Then another failure and now another. It's just a star that collapses into another place in space time, sucking everything with it, to reemerge somewhere else in space time and collapse again.
Maybe I'm a bigot, but I don't see how there is room for ethnoreligions or affiliated states in the world to come.
The string bikini that was popular in the 80s through the 00s usually isn't flattering on most body types or on a body in motion. Even when I had a BMI of like 18 those things would flatten my breasts downward, give me back rolls from the tiny straps that need to be pulled tight to keep the thing on, and for whatever reason never covered my actual vulva, looking like I had two sets of labia majora. Even a standard "bikini" depilation routine isn't sufficient... You would need to remove basically all the hair for none of it to be visible.
Since I had a kid I wear one pieces with trunks and I don't even have stretch marks or ab separation. I can't even imagine herding a toddler in what I wore 10 years ago. I'm grateful to qualifyfor the "mom" uniform.
How much instructing do you think they planned for what they stupidly thought was going to be a 3 year operation? It's probably all NATO people pushing the buttons in ergonomic chairs while expendable slavs are getting droned in trenches.