Ada @ ada @lemmy.blahaj.zone

Admin of lemmy.blahaj.zone

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Joined

2 yr. ago

Moderating

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I was young, early teens in the mid to late 80s, so I remember the time but not particularly fondly.

Your boobs stay because breast tissue stays. Breasts are also made up of fat in addition to breast tissue, and breast fat will "redistribute" in much the same way as other body fat.

Like a phone book?

I can do that. The fact the mods left it up for so long is reason enough

I just saw a report on it and I've removed the post.

New Zealand birds

All I know is that I'd rather be here than not be here. It doesn't get much deeper than that for me.

I’ve started to lose height as I get older instead of gaining it

You're inspired by an actively transphobic reddit community?

Hearing about the event the day before, and signing up for it with no prep and doing well on my first international event is the story :)

It used to be 60Hz. Then I played at 144Hz. The change in responsiveness of the mouse converted me

Turns out it was a great run and a great story! :)

We don't use pennys, nickels, quarters or dimes where I'm from, and aside from the quarter, I have no idea how much value any of them have, so I probably wouldn't give any meaning to it...

They way i read it their point, it was about people being aggressive in having their pronouns being respected, even in situations where there's clearly no malice or when their pronouns just aren't known

Yes, that’s what she’s angry about, but it’s not why she was banned.

why don't you just ban them for a week, and send them a message that while there might be something to their point, generalizing the heck out of it and blaiming the new generation for everything isn't the solution either, and not the best way to approach this discussion.

Because then she just comes back and slips under the radar, and I have no way of knowing if anything is changed, unless I follow up on it. If she wants to access the instance, she can approach me and we can talk about what it will take. It’s permanent in the sense that it won’t automatically expire, not in the sense that it can’t be removed.

Maybe a bit of empathy an genuine feedback can make them a good faith contributor that has similar experiences in their life?

You are more than welcome to make that attempt and have that discussion, however, in my experience, mods and admins reaching out after bans to try and have these conversations don’t change opinions, they just further inflame the sense of injustice the person is feeling.

I don’t have the resources or will to try and manually talk around every person who throws around bigotry for what they believe are genuine reasons, nor to expose the rest of the community to gatekeeping whilst they “work through it”. And honestly, most folk who feel as strongly as she does aren’t open to being talked around in any case.

Aren't you afraid of just creating an echo chamber where no criticism is possible at all?

In a world where we are being erased, attacked, harassed and turned in to political footballs, where every major social media platform has explicitly green lit attacks and harassment on us, concerns over “echo chambers” aren’t even on my list.

Bigotry is bigotry. It has no place here. The user in question wasn’t banned for defaulting to they/them. She was banned because she was actively blaming the victims of transphobia for the transphobia they received. She isn’t gender diverse herself, she is a cis woman who decided that the people asking for their pronouns to be respected are the real cause of the bigotry we face.

On top of that, she also threw a lot of comments that made it clear what she really things of gender diverse folk. “ attention seeking brats”. “ Younger queers need faux outrage to feel important”, “ if some chud gets all hissy about their pronouns”. “ As a cis lesbian who’s gender nonconforming, I’ve spent years putting up with their pronoun based faux “oppression” temper tantrums out of an effort to be “accepting” only to watch larger society completely flip on us”

tl;dr - a cis woman victim blaming gender diverse folk and gatekeeping them at the same time got banned.

And great that you're similar in age survived being young and queer better, does that invalidate their experience?

No, age doesn’t invalidate alternative perspectives. That was the very point I was making. The user in question was using her age as an “elder queer” to invalidate the younger queer folk. She clearly included me in the “young queer” category in some of her coments. I pointed out my age to highlight that being an “elder queer” that has been exposed to awful shit isn’t an excuse to invalidate folks.

People didn’t so much “decide” that, as it was used that way by bigots specifically because it was historically only used for animals and objects. They used it as a slur to hurt folks in our community, and like any attempt to reclaim a slur, even though the reclamation is an act of power, there are going to be people who were targetted by the slur who struggle with the concept of reclamation.

How about if we mix up the original you posted?

"Why does the flu virus have no followers? Because it's a bad influencer"

In my limited knowledge of Portuguese, it should still work, but the English version will sound better.

Ah yeah. I banned her. Not because she defaults to they/them, but because she was victim blaming queer folk as the cause of their own oppression, and using a lot of thinly veiled insults against gender diverse folk

And for what it's worth, I'm almost certainly a similar age to her

No p zombies here!

Dare I ask?