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3w ago

The solution to every problem

Microblog Memes @lemmy.world

aeronmelon @lemmy.world

3w ago

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66 comments

Believe it or not, there's a relevant xkcd
- Xkcd is the rule34 of information
- Because of course there is. It’s a good one too. Lol
  
  This one is honestly baffling 🤣
- there's always a relevant xkcd
- lmao didn't know this one
  
  One of my absolute favorites 😄🥰
- Sometimes I wonder how some people look at a topic and know that there is a relevant xkcd and exactly which one.
  
  I don't know about people in general, but in my case it's a simple case of me thinking "that reminds me of something", then figuring out that what it reminds me of is an xkcd comic, and then finding the comic 🤷
  In this case, it was pretty much inevitable since it's one of my all time favorites 😁

Too many wolves? Believe it or not, release more wolves.
- So true. IIRC about 40% of Yellowstone wolf mortalities are from other wolves in territorial disputes (stat either from the books „The Killing of Wolf Number 10“ or „Wolf Nation”).
  Releasing more wolves is a possible solution to too many wolves.
  
  Wolf Nation
  Or as it's known amongst fans of teen bestiality: Team Jacob
- Exactly what I was thinking of.
- Too much gun violence, release wolves with guns.
  
  Wolves with laser beams attached to their heads!
- Release Omega level Wolfs

Wanna lose weight? That's right; Wolves.
I have two wolves in me, and they're both fat-asses.

Instructions unclear: Gave wolf offering of table scraps and warm place by fire, now have dog that barks at twigs

Greedy CEOs? You better believe it : wolves!
- Just release them straight into the board meetings.

Wolves? More wolves.

Undercook fish? Wolves. Overcook chicken? Wolves. Miss a dentist appointment without cancelling? Wolves.

I have a friend who works as a park ranger in upstate NY. Every year the rangers have to cull the deer, but they use rifles. He said the problem is the only natural predator deer have in the area is the automobile.
- I'm in Utah, and we drove out the wolves like 100 years ago and coyotes have a bounty, so we're being overrun with deer. As a result, it's really easy to get a deer tag here, since we need some way to cull the population, but it's still not enough. We're finally reintroducing wolves, but it'll take a while for things to rebalance.
  
  My neighbors feed them and we're five minutes from downtown in the capital city of my state. They're cute and all, barely afraid of people or cars. Get scared off by neighborhood cats sometimes.
  I would love to post the photo I got of 13 of the 14 that were in their backyard at one time but I'm lucky someone hasn't already doxxed me.
  People loooove to hunt here. People live for deer season. They talk about hunting during the other three seasons like those people who can yammer on about sports for hours in the offseason. I know scrawny little dweebs who bag a buck almost every year.
  The meat is good and if they aren't culled they're all doomed to starve or die of disease and further ruin the ecosystem. We have a few city coyote, more on the outskirts and countryside. I feel like people would lose their minds here if we tried to reintroduce wolves though.
  People already look at me like I grew an extra head when I tell them I've never been hunting, so maybe the hunters are doing enough here.
- Exactly why I got no beef with deer hunters. How are there not enough humans doing that in NY?
  
  The park is surrounded by residential neighborhoods. No hunting allowed for miles.
  Most of them unintentionally hunt deer with their cars, from what my friend tells me. He said Pound Ridge has an absurdly high number of car accidents involving deer when compared to similar towns, hence the local support for culling.

What's this? A handsome family picnic woefully underpopulated by wolves?
A large influx of wolves ought to put a stop to that!

Reminds me of one of my friends who is in his 50s and still obsessed with wolves like an elementary school kid. He non-ironically wears lots of wolf t-shirts and has his house decorated with tacky posters of them, etc.
I roll my eyes at it, but he's pretty fun to hang out with.
- I would have rolled my eyes at it in my 20s but I'm feeling it in my 40s.
  
  20s's me: "well how are wolf posters going to help you get ahead in life?"
  40's me: "I dont care if you have sex with a taxidermied wolf, everyone has hobbies its all good."

Helpful Tip: in a pinch, other predators will do, but they should be spec’d up for lethality if facing larger prey.
Source: Fox that attacked congressman and others near Capitol had rabies, officials say

Nova has an episode about the need for multiple predator species. Keeps all of the animals in their roles.
Wolves, lions, bears, and cheetahs.
- The last American lions died out here about 13 thousand years ago. There was all kinds of wild-ass shit roaming around here back then. Humans have been wrecking the world's ecosystems far before the industrial revolution, we just kicked it into overdrive the past 200 years.
  
  It was about 25% larger than the modern lion, making it one of the largest known felids to ever exist, and an important apex predator.
  That would be effective to get attention.

The amazing thing is, that would actually solve all three situations.
In a bloody, slaughter sort of way, but still. Solved.
Wolves would have to be real hungry though

Reminds me of a Louis CK bit about releasing lions back into society and how much more life would be better. You couldn't sit around and eat, you'd have to graze and look out. Okay I'm doing it injustice but I also can't find it on YouTube anywhere for some reason, but it was good bit.

Finally, someone makes sense.

I am pro wolf gyang

Weight loss aficionados have to shop at wolf-infested grocery stores.
- All the healthy stuff eaten by wolves leaving the packaged chocolate bars near the entrance/exit as the safest untouched items you can grab before the wolves get to them/you... I see no flaws in this plan.

Wolves can help you lose all of your weight.

Wolfs do seem to be the answer to a lot of problems.

Limit it to atrocities against nature and i'm game.

To much pollution is controlled by releasing wives(edit: Wolves) into mansions and penthouse apartments, not warehouses.
Encourage the people making the bad decisions to make better ones.
Edit: I dont know what autocorrect was doing.
- Releasing wives into mansions and penthouse apartments would probably result in more pollution from all the deliveries.
- What kind of wives are we talking about here?
  
  Evidently not the Temu ordering kind, otherwise pollution would actually increase.

Sounds like one fix for all type maga thinking.

That clearly doesn't work, lol.
- Release the wolves! Its time!

Got the bottom of a 100 step staircase this morning to a coyote staring me down not budging. My instinct was to snarl and howl. More wolf. Solves everything.

Ummm... I'm pretty sure when there's too many deer we just hunt the deer more... Maybe ask Luigi about how hunting could be seen as the cure for a lot of things

66 comments