I wonder if they remember me

115 comments

This was the moment I checked out of the prequels. Vader, as a child, built C-3PO? I'm supposed to continue suspending my disbelief, now? Impossible.
- Definitely one of my least favorite aspects of them. Everyone must get a backstory, and they must all be interrelated. The galaxy's a small place apparently.
  
  Story takes place in a whole-ass galaxy. Everyone winds up back on Tatooine for some stupid reason; the planet with barely one ecosystem, practically zero vegetation, no economy that matters, yet populated with two (?) cities. Other planets also have exactly one ecosystem, culture, and one optional urban center¹. There's also only 12 or so planets that matter, yet half of everyone you meet are from all the other ones. You may not like what you see, but this is peak sci-fi writing performance, right here. /s
  This story could take place in a diverse corner of a single Earth-like planet and it wouldn't be all that different.
  ¹ - Meanwhile planet Coruscant is an urban center where the ecosystem can best be described as "traffic" and the culture is "city folk that inexplicably eat at 1950's-style diners".
  
  Why was Tattooine featured SO MUCH in a galaxy of planets?
- Maybe C3PO was a kit. Like a gay robot Lego set for ages 5-12. Those Jawas can sell practically anything.
  
  He built it out of junk. Most of internal components were prolly cherry picked and then maaaybe fixed up a bit. Sheesh. Like, kiddo may have been good at soldering, so he fixed a few electronic parts.
  
  This is my favorite theory. I mean, I'm not a star wars historian deep in debate, buffet plate at Bennigan's, but I like to think I know my stuff.
- Not when, in a universe known to contain non-organic beings able to perform tasks like smuggling plans, a gunnery officer decided to save lasers (as though they were apparently a precious resource) and not fire on an escape pod with no life signs? I feel like that would be the most appropriate moment to stop taking Star Wars seriously.
  
  It's okay to accept it's got a bunch of plot holes and enjoy it for what it is: grungy WWII fighter pilots/samurai/wizards/Vietnam war allegory in space.
  Edit: also nukes
  
  You need to treat the empire like a corporation. They do tons of dumb shit lol
  
  Well yeah, but I was very young. I haven't re-watched the original movies in a very long time for a very good reason. I'll keep those memories intact, thank you.
- Right? And Luke leaving behind a prosperous moisture farming career to go fight baddies? Um, no thank you. Know your audience, Lucas.
  
  I see you fellow dadder
- That's what you're supposed to do, though. They're fun space cowboy movies. Anybody who gets upset about the prequels being cheesy or having plot holes is just remembering the originals through rose-colored lenses.
  Revolutionary for the time, sure, but the fact that some of it didn't work in spite of the level of ambition is (for me, at least) part of the charm.
  
  Hold on hold on. You trying to argue that the prequels are the same quality as the originals, that’s just batshit crazy. The revisionism these last years about the prequels because all the kids who were born right around then and grew up watching them is wild. They are not good movies. Sure there’s stuff to like and anyone can find enjoyment in nostalgia, but to say the originals are just as bad and it’s only rose colored glasses is just wrong.
  
  Revenge of the Sith was the only one I found worth watching.
  
  Looool.
  You're right that the OT are just fun movies that are much less impressive than when they came out.
  The prequels are hot steaming piles of shit in comparison though. Maybe you need to remove your rose tinted glasses?
- I don't think he's supposed to have designed it or anything. I think it's an existing model, and he just scrounged for scrap to put him together. It's basically the thing he's known for as a child. His pod racer seems a little more unbelievable, right?
  
  Not that he couldn't have put together a droid, but that he put this very specific, very integral-to-later-events one together himself. It's ludicrously coincidental.
- Mine was Padme dressing in BDSM gear around the incel monk with an obvious crush on her, and then saying he made her uncomfortable when he started creeping on her
  Generally I think women should be able to wear what makes them feel pretty/empowered/safe without getting creeped on, but goddamn, read the room chica!
  Also, "I hate sand". Kenobi H Christ, it's awkward
  
  The whole Anakin-Padme romance was just awful. Weird Al's line in The Saga Begins:
  Ah, do you see him hitting on the queen Though he’s just nine and she’s fourteen? Yeah, he’s probably gonna marry her someday
  sums up the absurdity quite well.
  
  We can't be together, I'm a senator!
  
  What. When was Padmé in BDSM gear?
- "The 3PO-series protocol droid, also known as the 3PO-series protocol unit, was a model of protocol droid produced by Cybot Galactica sometime prior to the Invasion of Naboo. They were equipped with a TranLang III communication module, and as a result were fluent in over 6 million forms of communication. C-3PO was an example of this model, though he was rebuilt out of spare parts. TC-series protocol droids appeared similar to 3PO units."
  Wookieepedia
  There are a ton of 3PO-series droids in the Star Wars universe.
  Vader would not look at a 3P0 droid and think "maybe that's the droid I built as a child and left on a plant in the outer rim"
  Same with R2-D2
  It's just for the movie sake that there aren't 30 CP0s and 50 R2-D2 units running around in the background. "Wait did Biggs just get R2 in his x-wing?" No, it's some completely different droid I've never seen. Some things have to be adapted for the movie.
  As for difficulty, no harder than building like a PC. If there are a ton of CP0 units, he simply takes working parts from a dozen broken ones and pieces them together. He's a child, they fib and stretch the truth. He could have just attached new legs to the unit that needed only legs and then went through the setup process of "programing" him.
  He didn't Tony Stark C3P0. He pieced together a robot from pre-made CP0 scrap parts.
  
  Anakin was able to build this in a cave! With a box of scraps!
  
  And according to other posts in here, they're sentient, and property. And they let kids build them. He also happened to build the one that would be partially responsible for his downfall years later. Star Wars. The universe that keeps on giving.
- Suspend it and buy the merch!
- https://youtu.be/R4wOzbqgfIY?si=ievCbYECc11e61hU
- Considering they are sentient beings they are basically Skywalker family/property, is it really so far fetched they would accompany Leia? Like, they can't think for themselves and as much as Vader loved the thrill of being right in the center of the action so did r2. 3p0 just wants to be loved.
  
  So, they let kids bring sentient beings into existence. Sentient beings that are property. This opens a whole new can of beans on the Star Wars universe.

When Vader found out it was R2 he was up against, he knew it was all over.
- When R2 stole the plans Vader was looking for it changed his entire campaign.
  For R2 it was Thursday.
- It's no coincidence that R2 went to a planet full of sand.
  
  You mean the planet full of sand that's somehow central to the entire Skywalker saga despite supposedly being a remote mostly criminal hideout in the outer rim.
  And actually the droids were there to deliver Leia's message to Obi-Wan.

Yea I wonder if that was ever addressed? I don’t remember the movies much and I never read the books but Vader must have seen, like, security footage or something and been like hey wait a fucking a second.
- Why would he look at security footage? He's not a cop from the 80s, he just commands his army to find those. He's not evil enought to micromanage.
  
  Levels of Evil
  Level I - burn kittens and watch them suffer
  Level II - build a space weapon so massive it blows up planets
  Level III - micromanage your minions and review security footage
  
  TIL my boss is more evil than Darth Vader.
- There are plenty of 3P and R2 series robots running around. There's no reason to believe he thought he knew them.
  Further, there's a comic where he sees C-3PO's blasted body and has a flashback. So even though they didn't share the screen, Vader did share a moment.
  My actual biggest issue is that Vader stood in front of Leia and didn't seem to have any idea that she could use the force or that she was his daughter.
  
  that she could use the force
  Except she couldn't. She was Force sensitive, but had no training and couldn't "use" the Force. And he had no idea he had children until after ANH. If he felt any connection at all to Leia he could have easily dismissed it as knowing Bail during the Clone Wars and that her family connection to Bail.
  My actual biggest issue is that Mara Jade isn't canon
- I don't think they have security cameras. You see characters just walking through the halls and you see them running away from soldiers easily hiding behind corners. They don't even have security near their power sources or jails.
  I know they can record videos and holograms. Maybe it's against culture. Maybe they are just idiots. Maybe the story could not move forward if security was competent.
  
  It's 70's technology. They have a couple cameras in prime spots, but no one reviews them unless there's a reason to. No one is watching them live.

Characterized by extreme refinement or self-indulgence, often to the point of unworldiness or decadence
Damn you meme, making me learn a new word.
- You know there's just some middle school English teacher out there making memes just for this purpose.
- It took me a bit to recognise that as describing "effete". I don't think you found the best definition - the main way it's used today is affected, overrefined, and effeminate.

- Considering he was a standard protocol droid (E chu ta!), he probably built him from the scrap of previously deactivated ones. Still impressive, but certainly not "from scratch."
  
  I imagine it’s like someone building a computer today. You plug in all the relevant components together but it doesn’t require too much expertise.
  
  So, basically, he was a tech-bro who made a fancy ChatGPT wrapper.
  
  U wanna wonga?
  
  The Betty Crocker of droids.

R2D2 probably remembers Anakin wiping out the Jedi. I wonder if he can get PTSD
- distressed beeping
- Nah, he's too scrappy

There are many gold protocol droids and Blue astromech droids. They aren't unique
- But together? It's not like they commonly run in the same circles and team up for espionage missions.
- Sure, but do those other droids tend to accompany each other everywhere in the galaxy?
  
  Seems like it would vary based on how close to Naboo you were. The protocol droids like C3PO seem to be common everywhere, while R2D2 seems to be the rarer of the two, especially after the end of the Clone Wars.

115 comments