What's your favorite bad cyberpunk movie?
There are hundreds of lazy low-budget cyberpunk movies that flooded the (direct-to-video) market in the 80s and 90s. Stuff like Crime Zone, Nemesis, or Omega Doom. So what cyberpunk movies can you admit are objectively bad yet still hold a place in your heart?
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I’m not sure if Runaway (1984) counts as cyberpunk but I think it could. It's like the one film I'd actually like to see remade.
The premise is solid, it follows a police unit dedicated to wrangling or disabling runaway robots as they come to realize that their most recent robotic troublemakers aren’t just running amok from glitches but have been deliberately sabotaged in order to conduct a series of murders.
I really like that the runaway squad isn’t treated as glamorous work. The closest fit I can think of would be Animal Control. Not something to earn the envy and respect of beat cops, perhaps. I think that does a good job of setting the scope of the film and nicely illustrating that the protagonists are both in over their heads, and still the only ones qualified to unravel this mystery.
And the film gets a few other things very right - their ‘floaters’ are a downright prescient prediction of modern consumer drones, right down to how they’re used. The digitized records, voice synthesis, and other predictions of the future are pretty solid. I like the gear and precautions they take to mask and insulate themselves. The bad guy’s prototype gun that shoots rounds that chase people is actually a fun concept, might work well as a flavor of tiny suicide drones since it seemed to move at about running pace anyways.
It’s mostly let down by the setting, sets, and limitations of the props/technology.
All these predictions of the future where robots are everywhere bounce hard off the boringly 1980s daytime aesthetics and the tiny robots. It’s not trying to be the future, really, or it’s not trying very hard. The robots especially are kind of disappointing. They’re… cute, and Tom Selleck tries really hard to look intimidated by two-foot-tall robots on little roller skate wheels in several tense scenes but there’s only so much he can do.
I think with some modern cyberpunk aesthetics, some updated understanding of technology, and some more elaborate robot designs/malfunction scenarios, it could be a really good flick. Maybe borrow the creepy android from Megan for the scene where the robot housekeeper has killed its family and the protagonist has to sneak in to save the crying baby before the robot goes after it, and you’d have something really tense. (The current version has Tom Selleck sneaking around a dark house, trying to outsmart a boxy little two foot cube holding a gun).
I suppose I’ve described a Bad Metal movie. You know, I think I’d like someone to fund that instead please. Or at least finish the books.
Did you type all that and neglect to mention Gene Simmons?
I completely did. He did an excellent job chewing on all the scenery. It's a legit cast - if they'd had some imagination in the sets and a budget for decent props it could have been awesome
I bet Gene got paid a lot of that budget. :)
