I think there are many beloved films where women help men before solving their own problems.
The problem is when you write in characters to be perfect saviors who only help others as a narrative device to make themselves look good, and not out of any actual need to help each other. Examples: Captain Marvel, Little Mermaid live action, Mulan live action, Velma, Madam Web, Catwoman, the new Star Wars films, etc.
That said, some of these films have an active following. I personally thought Halle Barry Catwoman was good even if the character had less of a character arc rather she just got forcibly overwritten.
The villain is what really made the film for me, she was conflicted and had made too many mistakes to back down so she just went postal. That's the real story.
Oh, you know how it is. Everybody has a 0 tolerance policy for something.
Personally, I support freedom of language in most cases. If some bad actors decide to show the world what kind of person they are, why stop them?
An exception for me is if the closed community starts using slurs excessively to the point that it cannot be moderated, like when WSB Apes started using Retard in every other sentence as "person who makes poor decisions".
The difference between the wsb community and the women community is that the wsb one is a bunch of.... I don't even know how to describe them. Clowns? I don't know! So if all of them want to do that, including the moderators, then so be it. It's stupid, but whatever.
The women community seems like it's more civilized. So if there is the occasional "thanks, b****" from one woman to another in a clearly jokingly manner, or if the context allows it, then it should be fine. And you just said it; someone will at some point show their true colors and say something they really mean, like "of course you think like that, you b****." That person will stand out. Easy to spot, easy to ban.
WSB had degree holding data analysts and professional investors with many multi-millionaires in their ranks, we all like to think our own communities are better than others but that's rarely true. At least before the golden age of llm bots we're in now.