I want to do what I want to do, instead of what I must

Not too much to say, and you've probably heard all of it before, but I thought I'd drop it here. I don't mind my work, I dislike that I have to work- it spoils something that I sincerely love to do. More, it spoils the other things that I like to do when I'm not working. I have to deliberately remind myself that I'm allowed to sit and read without doing anything useful, because I feel like I should be using my free time to work on one of my side projects. My free time is limited, and it feels like a waste to use it on something as trivial as a book.

Because sooner rather than later, 8 AM rolls around again, and then I have to get back to it.

I'd like to read for fun without feeling guilty. I'd like to play a video game, or learn something, or doodle on a project without feeling as if I could use my time more productively.

I remember reading all day, for weeks, consuming fantasy epics with zero remorse or guilt, until I dreamed about fictional characters. I'd like to do that again - not all the time, just sometimes. When I feel like it. That's all.