By designating them under the investment terminology, the government has guaranteed that the country's Treasury feeds and cares for the cats for the rest of their lives
I agree it’s cute, but this is the Associated Press, a global news standard.
There are plenty of less-serious outlets who should feel free to go crazy with their headlines. I think it’s a bad practice in general, but that’s just my personal gripe.
In this case though, most people don’t go to the Associated Press for puns, they go for no-nonsense concise journalism.