Anon investigates their home intrusion

That's not all they do
Be at home very early one morning, only my brother and I are awake, pitch black outside
Dogs are out (an idiotic water pointer and a fat beagle)
Beagle starts baying, pointer starts whimpering
l open the door for them, they don't move, both looking at one section of the porch, frozen
step outside, turn on the light, my brother thinks its a burglar, is carrying the fireplace poker
Opossum hisses
Beagle bays again, pointer hides behind me
Brother freaks, swings the poker, hits me in the head
I go down
Opossum hisses louder, starts shitting everywhere
I'm shouting
My brother's shouting
Beagle passes out
Pointer tries to hide behind my prone body
Opossum waddles back into the woods
Shit and blood are everywhere

Not even once