Oblivious

Are you the quirked up white boy (with a little bit of swag) who's known to bust it down sexual style and may just be goated with the sauce?

I got you blue. I got you yellow.

Bro. You don't ask this to random people. You need to build rapport. I have plenty of times vibed with people and then told them i got the hots for them and then we did the deed. It ain't too hard. Just be clear and upfront and make some vibe checks.

I want to have fuck with you.

For real though, a friend of mine recently (August) walked into a gas station and asked the girl working there if she was married. She said yes. He said, “You the type keep a man on the side?”

The next day he was in handcuffs. He’s a strange dude and he says things to women that I don’t think he should, so naturally, I doubted him.

He was charged with stalking, trespassing after being forbidden, and assault.

His lawyer managed to get the video from the store and the body cam video from the officer who responded. He brought the USB drive by a few days ago after the charges were dismissed so I could see the video. He doesn’t want his friends to think he’s a piece of shit.

I watched it. He said exactly what I said above and told her to have a good day, turned back around to say, “Good on you for being faithful. You ever get sick of him, remember me.” Was it nasty to say that? Absolutely. A crime? Absolutely not.

The body cam video was the most interesting part. The woman said, “He came in here and told me outright that he wanted to fuck me. I told him I was married and I figured that would be the end of it, just like with other creepy men. I asked him to please not come here while I’m working.” The cop interrupts, “Well that’s trespassing right there. I’ll git eem fer that too.” She continued, “Well, he had a massive erection and he stood here playing with it through his shorts. He wanted me to see it. He came over beside the counter and kind of stepped behind where I was at.” Cop interrupts again, “Ok so he actually came behind the counter?” “Not fully, but he did step back there about a step or two.” She replied. Cop says, “well ‘ats assault right there. I can charge em with that too. So did he take his penis out where you could see it? I’d like to charge him with indecent exposure too but unless you seen his penis, like, the flesh, I cain’t do that. I’m gonna git eem with stalkin’ too though.” She replied, “Well no, I didn’t see his actual penis, but he stood there rubbing it through his shorts and motioning his head for me to look at it. It was a big old boner. I was scared to death. He kept saying, “you know I can give it to you good, won’t you walk in the women’s bathroom with me.” and stuff like that. I called my husband and he came out here. When the guy came back a third time he walked in and walked right back out when he seen my husband.”

On the video he walked in, said, “Well, damn. I left my wallet at home. I’ll be right back.” Her husband said, “no, you won’t be right back. You ain’t welcome in here anymore.” He paused for a second and looked at him dumbfounded and said, “Well, alright. This ain’t the only gas station in town. Bye then.”

I watched the video from the gas station. None of it happened. Everything she said was pure fantasy. I spent from August until a few days ago thinking he was a total fucking creep. I can’t believe he was charged at all and I can’t believe the girl didn’t back out when the manager offered to get the video for the police. Oh, and the assault charge. He stepped behind the counter to reach over and grab a paper towel to clean coffee he spilled. He has been stopping there for 20 years and didn’t think it would be a problem.

She also said he didn’t pay for his coffee on the video so I’m surprised officer Doofy didn’t charge him with shoplifting too.

Us men gotta be careful. For real.

Women too, because assholes like the one she described to the officer do exist and women contend with them daily. Lying, dangerous women also exist too.

I’d be afraid to hit on a total stranger. I wouldn’t want to anyway because that’s not the type of person I am. If I were though, I’d be too afraid to do it. Every woman I’ve ever been with said something to me first. I never wanted to come off as a creep and I like women who assert themselves anyway.

Fortunately there was video and the charges were dropped.

I did something like that once, but it was at a gangbang. Men can do it in certain contexts where some level of sexual activity is expected.

not if you're a woman either

HARDCORE TO THE MEGA

Maybe she's Canadian and just being polite. You really can't know.

yeah, should be more straight instead.

like straddling them directly, instead just laying there with them, while saying it.

A cute waitress once complimented my t-shirt.

I know exactly what you mean, I still regret not making a move

You overreacted. You are definitely a closeted gay.

Sounds like a proportionate way to solve the misunderstanding.

Which issue? The tea or the gay?

You showed her!

That must have been one hell of a second date.

The thing I don't understand about George is how a dumb person like him get attractive dates that even ask him to their house at night.

Hey some of us are meant to make lots and lots of babies with varied and sundry people. And spread lots and lots of STDs in the process.

And some of us (myself included) are not. Which is fine because babies are expensive, and gross. Now I'm sterile, I can have all the sex I want, and I only need to watch for the disease part

Same/similar.

Met up at hers to study. Didn’t study much, but we chatted a lot.

She told me about how she was born with a birth defect (hips or tibias, I don’t recall now) and how fairly early her on as a baby she had surgery to correct it.

The surgeon made a point out of really doing a nice suture to make the scars as minimal as possible, for future “young lady” her.

She wasn’t shy about showing me, pulling down one side of her pants to show the pretty much invisible scar. “See??”

And I did nothing. Call it good manners, call it being shackled by the fear of self-doubt.

Geez. I just now remembered her full name. And it’s been more than 40 years now.

Nope, probably just Canadian and being polite. Better keep looking for signs.

It might've been a black-light tattoo and she simply forgot to turn on her UV lamp.

Yes, it happened.

I went with "I've got boobs."

no it's just that

She'd just need to crouch to see it

In a literal way, yes, but she might also have seen her interact with others without knowing she was there.

She would know based on what other people tell her, though. Or just watching when first girl doesn't know she's there.

I also read it this way, definitely relatable unfortunately 😞

Oooooohhhhhh. Ya. That makes way more sense than my thing.

But that was just her bitching and moaning, not hints?