Lazy meal

"this simple meal only requires about 5 minutes of prep work"

Proceeds* to list off atleast half an hours worth of shit to do prior to cooking

Step 1: Unwrap processed cheese slice and put in mouth. Repeat as necessary.

[Camera fade in on a full-body shot of me standing in my kitchen, my hands tented smartly in front of me.]

Hi everyone, welcome back to my food channel. You don't want to cook a full balanced meal every night, sometimes you just want something quick! So today I wanted to show everyone my go-to lazy meal.

[I rip open a bag of semi-sweet chocolate chips with my teeth and just start pouring them vertically into my mouth. Many of the chocolate chips do not go into my mouth, they just fall straight down, bouncing off the floor and out of frame. Some get caught in the folds of my clothing, occasionally rolling off onto the floor and bouncing out of frame. Most unsettling are the ones that fall into my mouth and then are carried out again by their own chaotic momentum, covered in microscopic flecks of my saliva, sticking to my shirt or splattering on the floor.]

[This continues for much longer than you'd think, as I empty the entire 1-pound bag without stopping.]

[I release the empty plastic bag, which drifts to the floor. The camera zooms in on my eyes, where tears are just starting to be visible. Fade out.]

Y'all are way too productive...

And lazy doesn't necessarily mean quick either. Frozen pizza has gotta be the real winner here.

I'm not sure I know how to cook anything that doesn't start with a chopped onion.

I got this great lazy spaghetti snack recipe.

1. Take out some pieces of spaghetti from the box.
2. Eat it.

Real lazy meal? Uncooked top ramen, the cheaper the better.

Recipe:

1. Smash ramen noodles

2. Open bag

3. Pour seasoning into bag of broken noodles

Congrats, you have ramen chips.

But what if the lazy meal is just one raw onion?

Here's my go go lazy meal:

*drinks water*

This is why we in the UK, the King's of lazy food, have perfected the art of the "picky tea" slap two kind of beige food on a baking tray, shove it in the oven for 15-20 minutes at 200°, big dolop of your preferred dipping sauce on the side, or some baked beans if you're feeling lush, lovely jubbly.

I don't mind the chopping, washing and cleaning up is the dealbreaker for actually cooking for a lazy meal.

My lazy hot meal is usually something with noodles or rice, like jar sauce bolognese or egg rice. Bonus if you eat it straight out of the pot.

my lazy meal is just whatever cheese is in the fridge

to make a lazy meal, first you must lazily create the universe...

Fr, if it involves that much prep then it’s officially gourmet

This will potentially sound disgusting, but yesterday i chopped a red onion, broke off a 20cm piece of sausage and ate them with 2 pieces of bread for lunch. Couldn't even deny I'm from Hungary🤣

Why don't you already have chopped onion in your fridge for when you're feeling lazy? Be kind to your future self when you have the time and motivation. I chop a sweet onion or two every weekend and use it throughout the week on whatever. Gotta do peppers a couple times a week though. I put that stuff in everything.

Open container, heat (optional), eat.

If it requires more, it's not lazy enough.

You want lazy onions? They sell bags of frozen, already chopped onions. Just throw them in the pan. They take longer to get cooked but not but much.

Add a bag of sliced, frozen bell peppers and you’ve got a base to start adding those frozen beef cheesesteak sheets. Slam some sliced American on it at the end and you’ve got a cheesesteak mix. (Please don’t kill me, Philly). Throw that on whatever bread you’ve got laying around. It’s lazy and fairly cheap (if you get the steakums at the discount grocery).

My lazy meal is two ham and cheese sandwiches. When I have more time on my hands, I might make some ramen. The fanciest I'll go is mac and cheese.

My wife and I have what we call 12 minute meals. They're not quite 12 minutes, because usually you've got to boil the water in the kettle first, but - they're meals that you can make and cook in the time you make macaroni, rice or spaghetti. A simple carbonara, a simple "cheats casserole" (Fry off some mince & onions, throw in some veg, cover in gravy, serve with rice), or a Macaroni Cheese (Done the proper way - grate cheese over the macaroni, mix).

Except for the Mac&Cheese, all of them require chopping an onion. I'd count them as relatively lazy meals that are also tasy and can feed a family.

My lazy meal is a bit cost prohibitive if you don't have the equipment, but if you have an instant pot, a rice cooker, and an air fryer equivalent, it's super easy to make orange chicken with stir fry veggies, using all stuff you can get ready at the grocery store.

I just throw rice in the rice cooker, frozen veggies and about half a bottle of premade sauce (like $1 at Aldi) in the instant pot, and breaded chicken, like popcorn chicken, in the air fryer, then wait. Mix the chicken in with the veggies once it's cooked, and then serve over rice.

If you do non-breaded chicken, you can even cut out the air fryer, and just cook it with the veggies. Either way, you just have to set the instant pot to zero minutes at high pressure, and it'll be cooked

I thought the lazy-part was that you don't buy any ingredients from the store before you need them in the cooking process?

My go to lazy meal.

$5 Costco cooked rotisserie chicken. Pull the meat off the bones.

Frozen bell peppers/ onion mix

Fajita seasoning seasoning

1/2 cup Rice w/ a few spoonfuls of salsa, butter, add salt / pepper to taste

1 Can O beans.

Fry up the veggies w a little oil, add cooked chicken, season w fajita seasoning lightly, remove / put in a bowl.

In the same Pan as the chicken, cook the beans.

Takes like 10 minutes n u got fajitas with only 2 pans to clean. Can I make a way better version taking 5x as long? Certainly, but do I want to? Usually no.

Sriracha, mayo, bread, nooch

My lazy meal is pasta with tomatoe sauce. Add basil and raw garlic if you get fancy with it :D Parmesan if you are the rich kind of fancy

I think there's an important distinction as to which meal, a lazy breakfast is a raw bagel, a lazy lunch is bread and deli meat (or microwaved single meal), dinner is frozen pizza or some rice and meatballs

Just steam and eat the onion, it's actually delicious

There's different levels of lazy. If you can't bring yourself to chop an onion every once in a while, you probably just need to practice it a bit or something, because that shit isn't hard.

You people put in a lot of effort. My lazy meal is a can of chicken (the kind you don't have to use a can opener on) and as many raw vegetables and nuts as it takes.

If I want to put in some effort, pre cooked rice pouch, can of chicken, a can of vegetables, and a can of tomatoes. Anything more than that definitely isn't lazy.

A lazy meal must have at most two items to clean up, including the cutlery

Some people are just so fast at cooking. My roommate makes the same food in a quarter of time I need and I guess it comes down to me spending so much time confused and doing unnecessary things.

Being a bachelor, I often chop an onion and end up with like 4 or 5 meals worth of onion chops, so a lot of "lazy meals" are "get some chopped onion out of the fridge."

Individual serving mashed potato cup, with a chopped dollar store sausage mixed in before microwaving

My lazy meal is take the vybey powder out of the bag, put it in a shaker bottle with water, shake and drink.

Lazy meal example for me:

In the morning, frozen diced potatoes, frozen diced onions, frozen crinkle carrots, frozen stew meat, liquid campells stew seasoning, toss all of it in a slow cooker... turn it on (for extra laziness, use a slow cooker bag so you don't have to clean it after).

At dinner, spoon it into bowls (or if I feel fancy and like putting some effort in, hollow out some bread bowls), eat.

Then the next day throw it in the microwave for two minutes, eat it again for lunch. Do it again for dinner. Cumulative work is about 10 minutes for three meals, and the only dishes are your bowls and spoons (if you used a slow cooker bag).

My go to lazy meal (actually I have it everyday now). INSTANT oats + milk powder + peanut butter + hot water + mix TF outta it. Gains for days baby 💪🍼

Edit: I'm so lazy that I use one spoon to first transfer the oats to the bowl, then the milk powder, and only then the peanut butter. Use the same spoon to mix and eat. Only wash the spoon and bowl later 😆

My go-to lazy meal is rice, a can of baked beans, and a can of spam. Make the rice, dice the spam and fry it in a pan, then mix everything together.

I call it Bachelor Chow

Food processor can cut juice that onion in like 3 seconds.

That's why God made frozen diced onions

Naledi is likely depressed.

That's what proper kitchen tools are for.

I have a vegetable chopper.

Lid off, onions in, lid on, turn ten times, chopped onions.

Get yourself tools that allow you to be lazy without compromising on quality

Lazy is relative.

Ordering food delivered is the laziest.

My go-to "lazy" meal is a Caesar salad with salmon. Wash the romaine lettuce leaves, stick them in a bowl. Add store-bought dressing (don't make your own), store-bought croutons (don't make your own), and grate some Parmesean cheese (less lazy than using pre-grated, but it loses flavor too quickly for the pre-grated stuff to be worth the money). Salt & pepper the salmon fillets, add some flour. Melt some ghee in a pan on medium-high, sear the salmon for 3m30s/side (start with the skin side up).

The whole thing takes under 10 minutes. Some of you will complain this isn't lazy, but look what I compare it to!

My least lazy meal is a meat lasagna.

White Sauce

1.5l milk
1 onion, thickly sliced
3 bay leaves
3 cloves
100g butter (clarified butter or ghee works too)
100g plain (all purpose) flour
3g grated nutmeg
2g salt
2g MSG (not traditional, but Uncle Roger would be disappointed if you skipped it in any savory dish)
5g black pepper
5g long pepper (older style, predates the introduction of black pepper to Italy. More aromatic, less pungent, can skip)

Meat Sauce

45ml (3tbsp) olive oil
2 celery sticks, finely chopped
1 onion, finely chopped
1 carrot, finely chopped
3 garlic cloves, peeled & crushed
140g cubetti di pancetta or guanciale
500g beef mince
500g pork mince
2x 400g cans chopped tomato
200ml milk
2 bay leaves
1 rosemary sprig
2 thyme sprigs
1.5g dried oregano
2 beef stock cubes
500ml red wine
2g salt
2g MSG

Lasagna

about 400g dried lasagna sheets
50g Parmesean, finely grated

Steps:

Start the white sauce. Put the milk, onion, bay leaves, and cloves into a saucepan and bring very gently just up to a boil. Turn off the heat and set aside. Grind the salt, MSG, black pepper, and long pepper together into a fine powder in a mortar and pestle.

Start the red sauce. Put the oil, celery, onion, carrot, garlic, and pancetta or guanciale into a large pot. Gently cook together until the vegetables are soft but not changing color. Add the beef & pork mince, the milk, and the chopped tomatoes. Using a wooden spoon, stir together and break up the lumps of mince against the sides of the pan. When it's mostly broken down, stir in all the herbs, the stock cubes, and the red wine. Cover and cook for 1 hour, stirring occasionally to stop the bottom from catching.

Uncover the red sauce and let it gently simmer for another 30 minutes to 1 hour until the meat is tender & saucy. Taste & season as desired.

To finish the white sauce, strain the milk through a fine sieve into a temporary container. Using the same pan, melt the butter and then, using a wooden spoon, mix in the flour and cook for 2 minutes. Stir in the strained milk gradually. It will thicken at first to a doughy paste, but keep going slowly adding milk to avoid lumps. Bring to a gentle simmer, stirring constantly (if you have lumps whisk it to break them up). Cook a few minutes until thickened. Season with salt, MSG, black pepper, long pepper, and nutmeg.

Heat the oven to 180°C/160°C fan/gas 4. Spread a spoonful of the meat sauce on the base of a roughly 3.5l baking dish. Cover with a single layer of pasta sheets, snapping them to fit if needed, then top with a quarter of the white sauce. Spoon over a third of the meat sauce & scatter over some Parmesean. Repeat the layers—pasta, white sauce, meat sauce, and Parmesean—two more times to use all the meat sauce. Add a final layer of pasta, the last of the white sauce, and the remaining Parmesean. Sit the dish on a baking sheet to catch any spills and bake for 1 hour until bubbling, browned, and crisp on top.

Do the dishes while the lasagna bakes.

Serve the lasagna.

That takes about an hour for the mise en place, and around 3 hours 10 minutes for cooking, total 4 hours 10 minutes. That makes it a weekend-only meal.

"Lazy" is relative.

I don't get it. Chopping an onion is basically nothing. It takes like 2 minutes.

Chopping one onion is hard? That's maybe a minute of work to add a lot of flavor. I don't generally do that for lunch, but I'll absolutely chop up a couple of baby carrots, chop a couple green onions, scramble an egg or two, and mix it in as I fry up some leftover rice. Add some soy sauce, a few spices, and you've got some serious flavor with 5-10 minutes of work.

The hardest part of that is having leftover rice on hand.