1mo ago

I do so much better in small groups then I do 1 on 1 and I hate it

Just sucks wanting to/actually hanging out with someone 1 on 1 and there's silence and I worry they aren't having a good time with me. Then we bring another person in and everyone is talking a lot more and seem more comfortable. Why am I weird alone with people :/ tbh makes me very worried about dating or being in a relationship too. Even in a platonic friendship it makes me feel very anxious about what they think of me and our relationship. Like idk I like you I just don't have much to say but then suddenly do when there's more people?? I don't get it so how is anyone else going to

inb4 autism

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I have a friend I suspect is like this and fwiw I don't hold it against her or anything. It probably takes some emotional intelligence to understand it I'll admit but if we hanged out I'd think similar. I'd be like "Bounti she's cool just anxious, is all good"
maybe i you could make a throuple situation work
- If I could find a situation like that and get over my fear they'd both leave and go monogamous I would tbh. Or at least give it a try.
Why am I stiff, awkward, and uncomfortable when its just me and another person
- I might be, sorry
so funny, i'm the exact opposite. I love 1 on 1 convos and I can carry them so easily, but if another person joins in I become completely silent
When I am in a group, I am quiet in an "I don't know when to enter the conversation" way.
When I am one on one, I am quiet in an "I am stiff and awkward and anxious" way.
The only time I'm not quiet is when I'm by myself, but it's in a "my vocal stims are making random noises and stitching lyrics and quotes that don't make sense together whatsoever."
It seems like the only form of verbal communication I truly understand is transmitting and receiving instructions.
I’m so much worse in groups than I am 1 v 1. I retreat into a shell when I’m in groups
I'm kinda like this. One on one, sometimes I have things planned to address but if I don't, the other person usually does most of the talking. In small groups I was fine though, and I usually sought out a situational medium for interaction instead of just talking.
Years ago, before I had dated anyone, I rehearsed saying the line "you'll either pull most of the weight conversationally, or you'll be okay with silence". To this day I'm usually the less talkative person, but if I get onto a subject I feel like talking about, I can go on for quite a while- until it runs out, and I'm back to "I have nothing to say" mode.
I used to be like this when I was young, silence can be nice and a time to think

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