It really does

My wife and I are in our fifties. When we got our robotic vacuum we spent a week arguing about what to name it.

Meryl Sweep

I like how there's this unspoken rule that they qualify as just alive enough to be named.
- My parents’ fridge made weird noises sometimes so my dad named it
Yep totally just sent that to my wife.
Vactor

If you have a 'normal' house and keep up with cleaning, a cordless should be fine. The portability and lightness are awesome.

If you have a dog or cat, results may vary.

If you have two labs, you're going to want to throw the thing out the window every time you use it because it clogs every 3 minutes.

Yes, even the "pet" version.

They clog? Glad I don't have one then. I use a Henry hoover, having a cable doesn't really seem like a problem tbh, and who couldn't love a hoover with that face?

The jokes on you. Vacuums have been exciting me since I was 14. /S

Cord management is such a big part of vacuuming to me I don't think I would be very excited about a cordless vacuum. It would just be missing part of the experience for me.

And if that new cordless vacuum doesn't work well it will be a significant disappointment that you and your partner discuss multiple times.

But if you clean the super-fine filter it'll work great for like 2 uses! (Then back to mediocrity and mild resentment...)

That's a symptom of early onset Republican as well.

Doesn't everyone get excited though? Even as a kid I would get excited because it would make chores easier.

Yeah, I was delighted as a kid when we got a dishwasher! No more washing by hand every night? Hot damn!!
I've started handing my 5 year old the handheld vacuum and she seems to be on the fence about admitting she enjoys it. I remember using a corded handheld vacuum to vacuum the stairs as a kid with some regularity too

36 here. I'm very excited at the thought of this.

My mental ding dong is hard and ready to use it. My nerves are tingling and my hands are shaking at the thought of being able to touch such an artefact. I know ultimate pleasure is in my future and I cannot wait.

Turned thirty, and I'm just so done with cordless.

Battery issues. Recharging issues. Suction issues (especially when it randomly decides 'this is is too hard' and cuts out). Cleaning issues.

Gonna be a dumb boomer and hold out on proper corded vacuums. Which I guess means looking to the industrial/commercial grade at this point.

Wife wanted a cordless vacuum this year after our main driver died. Our house is multi levels and about 80% carpet and I've always been sceptical of the efficiency of the dinky cordless vacuums. I then found this guys testing videos on YouTube and immediately changed her mind.
We ended up finding the highest performing Shark from below for $250 refurbed and it performs as well as he shows.
Also need to give a shout out to Miele. German made and my dad swears by his, just a bit too rich for me to afford right now.
Corded Vacuum Tests - https://youtu.be/PugLAnsIQUA
Cordless Vacuum Tests - https://youtu.be/RTkUNwBo9Ao
- I love how you point out that your house is multi level even though that is what the majority of houses (not appartments are) lol.
  And why did you choice for carpet? These days most people get PVC, Wood, Tiltes or something along those lines
2000w shopvac with a 30L drum and the hepa rated bags.
Fuck a Dyson.
- Hah. This is exactly what I use. Powerful corded is better than poncy cordless any day.
I'm so done with vacuums, point blank. First you've got the mass-produced Walmart/Target/Amazon/Home Depot bullshit. Dirt Devil, etc. They're made like a child's toy, designed to break, and there are so many ever-changing, oh-so-similarly-named-but-slightly-different models that you literally often cannot find relevant information, even on the manufacturers' websites.
I repaired and ultimately replaced like 4 of those over the years before buying a vintage steel behemoth Kirby like my grandma would have had. It worked great, but hauling it up and down stairs was not great and I left it behind when I moved.
Then I moved to a fancy new stick vac, which is...fine. Feels like a miracle weight-wise, cordless-wise, and maintenance-wise, but I have two dogs and it only picks up like 60% of anything.
I hate them all.
- Get a Henry, those are amazing vacuum.
  And well nothing good comes form massive corporations like Walmart/Target/Amazon/Home Depot
I’m on board with your thought process but just keep reasonable expectations; it’s probably not going to last more than 5 years regardless if it’s battery operated or plug-in at this point. We have built in obsolescence and designed to fail products.
- Nah, buy a proper workshop/trades grade wet/dry. Those things are designed to take daily tradesman abuse, household work isnt really a challenge.
Get one that has a little canister on wheels. It's much easier to move around. I got a Miele years ago and never looked back.
Yep agree. The tradie tools have got the right thing going. You get a couple batteries and then the tool skins, like vacuums or blowers. The battery dies after a few years and you just get another.
And I agree those ones with soldered in batteries feel like they're meant to be disposable. The corded vacuums are what you need for carpet or anything else though. Nothing beats a wet/dry shop vacuum haha

You mean a robot vacuum?

I shared this with a friend years ago on discord.

yeah that did sound sexual.

Thirty is cordless and light, because fuck 50 pound vacuums that you have to lug around because 'it gets better suction'

Forty is a robotic vacuum that doubles as an alarm clock when it wanders into your room at 7 am, eats a sock, and yells at you to unclog it.

I've started to leave my floor clutter free. I have reached zen.

I'm 25 and ngl I'd be excited to get one of these

Got one at 24 and it made me excited.

If you haven't learned by 40 that all cordless vaccuums are terrible, then you're beyond help.

An important thing us people at 40 have to keep in mind is tech advances and gets better all the time. The cordless vac I have now works great for being portable and usable in our townhouse, which has no carpet.
Would a good corded vacuum be better? Depends on the terms. It'll be better max performance, bit I don't have to lug a heavier vacuum upstairs to clean stuff in my room, and what I have works.
As a photography hobbyist, it's like saying why take a picture with a phone camera, m43, or apsc when you could use full frame or medium format? The cameras are objectively better quality pictures, but they are more expensive and larger, especially when it comes to lenses. Sometimes convenience is "better."
- Kudos for a great argument. I completely agree that in some cases a cordless will suffice. But in general I feel they all are terrible and at some point become disappointing. Guess I just have a lot of need for something that eats carpet for breakfast.
We have a good one. ¯(ツ)/¯

I got one that uses the same battery system some other tools (lawnmower, strimmer, drill) uses and oh baby it's nice.

40's? I'm barely in my 30s and talked for weeks about my new cordless mop/vacuum hybrid thing LMAO

Please do tell, I wonder how they combined a vacuum and mop into one.

I just bought a new cordless vacuum on Sunday and am talking about to people at work. I feel attacked

A Trader Joes will be opening soon in your area:

As someone in his 40s definitely not excited about overpriced grocery store opening.
- Maybe this is for people who don't have kids?

Uh oh... I've been excited about cordless vacuums since my early 20s 🫣

the difference between me and 20's me is that i can now afford a new vacuum

Literally. I'm 29 and recently "splurged" on a cordless vacuum since the cat hair situation tends to get out of hand in spring and it was a fantastic purchase but definitely one I had to weigh up. I'm very glad I got it though. It's also handy when you eat in your bed and leave crubs.
- she ate 👏 in bed 🛌 and left crumbs 👏

I was excited by one, but it was shit and I went back to my Henry. I will never leave you again Henry.

I also love my henry, he'd survive a nuclear war I fucking love him.
leaves Henry again the moment some new hotness promises improved sucking action

Oh, I remember my first time. I was 14 and was going to the mall with my family to buy a new vacuum cleaner. For some inexplicable reason, all five kids were too excited and wouldn't stop yapping about it. So the adults decided we'd all give it a go, and anyone not using the vacuum cleaner would have to clean something else. We were juked into cleaning the entire house.

The internet killed real life.

I used to work as a vacuum salesperson, and one day I noticed an older model unloved Bissell, brand new, on clearance.

Someone had fucked up and set staff discount price to $0.01.

That is the most thrilling vacuum purchase of my life and nothing will get close

buy your own vacuums, get commission, return vacuum, get refund.
infinite money glitch

It would excite me more if I could afford a place big enough to feel like owning one would be a necessity. My small dustbuster is enough (which is a cordless vacuum, technically).

Yes but it would have also excited me as a child.

Opening a new appliance box, looking at all the nice packaging (especially if it’s a high end one), setting it up and taking it for a test drive!

I mean yeah, I didn’t care about the actual vacuuming, but I was always excited about anything new and expensive.

And tools. Almost any new tool feels like Christmas. I got a new riding lawnmower and I was giddy. And I’m in my 50s.

I bought a used Ryobi lead acid riding mower with bad batteries for cheap. Converted to lithium. I was and still am psyched to get that thing out every week. And I'm in the same age range as you.
- I plan on doing the exact same thing!!! I have a buddy who has done a few already and flipped them.
  I was going to do it this time but the wifey was less than thrilled since we needed a mower immediately when our last one died. We have a pretty decent sized yard that is a pain to mow with a push mower. And when I said “new mower” before I meant new to me since it wasn’t new. It was however free since a family member gave me one they weren’t using anymore since they downsized their yard. So spending money on something that was going to require work wasn’t gonna fly. It is definitely on my plan for next summer however. At least this new one is less noisy than the last. My next door neighbor has one of those exact same Ryobi mowers (still with the SLA batteries however) and I’m so jealous how quiet it is.

Somehow I read "execute" and had fully accepted my fate before I realized it said "excite"

Remember always buy one that uses replaceable battery packs. Even better if you can just use a power tool battery. There are even adapters for certain brands of vacuums so you can put a power tool battery into the vacuum.

If the battery is not replaceable you have to trash the vacuum after a couple of years of use, since the battery won’t hold a charge. Replacing the li-on cells is not easy and requires a spot welder, you can’t just use a soldering iron.

Or worse yet, the battery is serviceable (barely, one has to completely disassemble the unit for access), only to find that a replacement costs almost as much as a brand new vacuum. The best part is, since there is usually little to no info online about the part number for the battery, one only learns of the cost until after one has taken on the challenge to take the damn thing apart (which definitely didn’t take 1-2 hours). Looking at you, Shark 🙄

I need a vacuum that can handle dog hair really well. My current one uh... Doesn't suck?

Your current vacuum... not:
Same but for cats. I have a Black and Decker which is specifically for pet owners
Shark brand vacuums. They kick ass
- Shark hasn't been good in years.
  Samsung and miele are making the best cordless vacuums (which are also terrible compared to any bagged vacuum but I digress.

23 here and this has always excited be.

I was 31 when I got excited about one. It had the same battery as my drill.

I’ve found cordless vacuums exciting since I was under 10. Maybe when I’m 40 they will finally stop breaking down all the time though…

Dyson just came out with a brand new one that's an absolute banger
- Just long enough to impress the reviewers, right?

My wife and I are 44, and can think of little finer than driving down to a local beach, getting a bag of chips, and watching people walk by with their Very Good Dogs. On a sunny day it's just about one of the best things you can do.

If 24 year old me knew about this, he'd probably have hanged himself.

That sounds like an amazing day
- 100% recommendation from me. Find yourself a good Dog Beach* that's a short walk from a good chippy and you need never be sad again. _ *be careful it's not a Dogging Beach. That's a very different thing.

Wait so you turn into a yappy little dog when you turn 40? That sounds terrifying.

I stand by my OG coorded Dyson Ball Animal upright. It's almost 20 years old now and still sucks the soul out of you.

Mid 40s here, and I have been trying to straddle that “senior engineer turned goose farmer” line for a few years now. I fiddle with the bleep bloos during the day, and on evenings and weekends I’ve been doing some pretty heavy construction in the back yard for various animals of ours.

Tools are therefore a huge one for me, with two major categories. First are the nice power tools like my DeWalt handheld stuff and my EGO outdoor stuff. But second are the cheap and indispensable, but also easily replaceable, small convenient “everyday carry” type tools. Things like the perfect minimal keychain or pocket knife.

I haven’t carried my nice pocket knife for years because it’s huge and I didn’t miss it much as long as I had something sharp on my keychain. But now after using a utility knife a lot in the past couple months, I’ve realized how nice pocket knives designed around replaceable blades can be. You always have a brutally sharp and very thin blade, and you don’t have to think twice about damaging the blade by cutting or prying. My current cheap favorite is the Oknife Otacle U1. The ideal-looking upgrade that I’m getting next is the TiRant V3. The same company makes the TiRant Ultra which has a whole new interchangeable blade system on top of the utility knife blade thing, but it’s slightly larger and a lot more expensive.

I also found tiny knives great for my keychain that use scalpel blades. I use one that folds as small as a 3” pencil and uses a #11 blade — the pointy one with a straight edge.

hell, i get excited over new cutlery and plate sets. am i old? yes, yes, i am.

I'm 39 and I'm just happy when I'm regular for two week stretches.

Our 50 year old Kenmore central vac will probably outlast me. Guess I'll have to find something else to get excited about.

Have you considered a cordless drill or jigsaw?

Fuck yeah!
\ Did anyone see the new Dyson stick?\

Looks cool but you’d be emptying the container every minute I reckon.
- I swear no one at Dyson has pets

Yes, but it's THE WIDTH OF A 500 YEN