Inspired by a friends current vacation

When I was like 7-9 I went on a "camping" trip with my football/soccer team.
Really, we were just putting up tents on the field we usually practiced at after some very tame river rafting.
It was the first time I was away from my parents. And I was inconsolable. I cried most of the night. To the point the supervisors offered to call my parents so I could talk to them. (And mobile phoning someone back then was not cheap),
In the end I just cried myself empty.
Because I was asleep so late, I slept into the morning and my "tent mates" pulled down the tent around me while I was sleeping.
So I woke up in drizzling rain, lying in my sleeping bag on a thin plastic sheet with no tent around me. While all my "friends" were in the club house having breakfast.
I did not stay in the soccer club long after that.

It's a meme but you just tickled my autism.
It gets better with every single trip. I remember my first wilderness backpacking. Horrible. No sleep. Anxiety. Sun stroke.
Hundreds of trips later I sleep out of my backpack than I do in my apartment in the city. Every time you go out you dial in your gear and strategy a little more.
The thing I hate the most is not being clean which is why I don't usually do more than 3 nights out there alone anymore. After several days of sweating I just stop having any sort of fun. And I'm a wimp for cold water and have no idea how these people are jumping into alpine lakes.
That said, though, I like your meme because it discourages other people to try it. It's hard enough to get permits for certain trails!

I love camping, and have had some great trips in the rain. Can be very comfy even with a backpack setup if you know what you're doing.
That being said, this is hilarious.
And at least you have enough unsolicited advice to make it more comfortable if you want to go again 😅
- Most of these can honestly be solved by getting a hammock with an integrated bug net, an underquilt and a tarp if it's raining. You can get like all of that for ~$200 brand new that's half decent. Onewind makes some pretty alright stuff for the money.
  I don't think I'm ever sleeping on the ground if I ever get a chance.

For me, camping is fun the day after I get home and have already had a shower, a good sleep, and put everything away.
- Putting stuff away is the worst part, especially if you have to air out wet tarps
  
  Tarps, tent, flys, cleaning coolers and drying them too, re-packing everything in storage if camping isn’t a regular event…yeah. It’s fun, but there’s a reason it’s not super common for most people.

This entire post reads "I don't know how to camp/go backpacking.
Get yourself a travel air mattress or sleeping pad, probably a better sleeping bag. Solves the lack of sleep and sore back.
Get a proper tent that's water proof and learn how to set it up properly so water doesn't pool under it. Make sure the vents have good mosquito netting to keep bugs our, and never have the entry unzipped a second longer than it takes to get in and out of.
For the mice, don't have food in unsealed containers and if you're in bear country you should be hanging a bear bag at least 100 feet (30m~ ) from you campsite, make sure cook wear and utensils are all properly cleaned too. Some newer tents even have a pouch built in near the door to seal a bag into, minimizing the chance of something deciding to make it a new home.
- I hang my food and cooking kit even when I am not in bear country because I don't want a raccoon to destroy hundreds of dollars in gear.
- If you are bringing an air mattress, you're probably car camping and may be able to leave the food / cooler in the trunk.
  Once in Missouri I went camping with my parents and they love to cook at camp Tons of chopping boards, utensils, etc were left out overnight, which attracted dozens of raccoons. They had the coolers secure but it was still wild to see. Rookie mistake from people who actually have a lot of experience.
  Also, hammock camping can be very comfortable if you have an under quilt and tarp
  
  There are backpacking air mattresses.
- All this.
  I went camping in MN when it was 27 degrees F overnight a month ago. Slept like a baby. Nice and cozy. It was really nice. Camping is great if you do it right.

I hated camping as a child because I had no say in where, when, or for how long. As an adult I'm not camping alone as a woman. My husband would just die in the wilderness, it's not kind to a guy with cerebral palsy.
- I enjoy it even when it's not wilderness camping-- drive up to a site with a level of facilities you're comfortable with (toilet, sinks, etc), have a little bbq, do some stargazing, sleep with some nature sounds, drive home. I know those kinds of places aren't near everyone but camping doesn't have to be bushwhacking or backpacking.
  
  It was lots of tents and pain until my mother said absolutely not and then it was a lot of KOA sites. That was fine! I wouldn't mind like...being in a remote cabin.
  I want indoor plumbing. We worked hard to invent that as humans, I respect it.

You wouldn't have made it though the paleolithic era bro. You don't have the survival instincts ᵃⁿᵈ ᵃˡˢᵒ ᶦᵗ ˡᵃˢᵗᵉᵈ ˡᶦᵏᵉ ³ ᵐᶦˡˡᶦᵒⁿ ʸᵉᵃʳˢ ᵒʳ ˢᵒᵐᵉᵗʰᶦⁿᵍ ᵃⁿᵈ ⁿᵒᵇᵒᵈʸ ʰᵃˢ ᵉᵛᵉʳ ˡᶦᵛᵉᵈ ᶠᵒʳ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ˡᵒⁿᵍ ˢᵒ ᶠᵃʳ
- I dunno, I like my chances. Been living so far and the trend is continuing in the right direction to survive that long
  
  I said so far cause I think that in like 150 years science will have advanced enough to make the quadrillionaire oligarchs undying and unkillable

There's two types of camping: (1) outdoor camping, which is the shitty one ; and (2) indoor, which has pillow forts.

Go to bed earlier
Never leave your tent open longer than the time necessary to get in or out of it.
Store your equipment in sealed containers when not in use (make sure to wash and dry it first!)
Self-inflating sleeping pad + better tent location solves the painful and damp sleeping conditions.
You can have an equally bad time staying at a hotel, if you do it wrong too.

This is a very inefficient method of telling everyone that you don't know how to camp for shit.
- Yeah, you should definitely have a massive hangover in the morning, too
  
  I don't understand drunk hangovers.
  Drink water. Then you don't have hangovers. That's it.
- People that don't enjoy sounding might not want to do it for reasons other than lack of skill. Same with camping.
  
  Yeah, but if someone says "I hate sounding, stabbing myself in the balls sucks!" you'd have a pretty good idea that they are doing it wrong. There's a difference between "I hate activity, it's not for me" and "I hate activity, I actively participate in it in a way that is easily avoidable and will make me miserable." It's just a meme, let people discuss it lmao

Someone wasn't in the scouts.
- Seriously. Mice? Are they homeless?

At least your friends weren't trampled by a moose.

Skill issue
- I say the same thing when people say they don't enjoy taxidermy because of the dead animal aspect.

I wouldn't want to camp either if I was the kind of person who doesn't plan ahead and also crumbles at the slightest inconveinience, I don't want people like that camping with me either so go ahead and stay home please and thank you.
- Yeah, I have a wonderful time camping, but it’s because I’m experienced enough to know what to pack. If it’s cold, a small cot (to get you off of the cold hard ground) and foam sleeping pad (to insulate your underside) will do wonders. Or if it’s hot, just string a bug net over a hammock, and you’ll sleep cool and breezy.
  Also, don’t underestimate the value of a good solid meal. Some of my best meals have been made in the middle of fucking nowhere, with nothing but a Dutch oven, my pocket knife, and a campfire. It’s hard to feel upset about camping when you’re noshing on the best bowl of soup you’ve ever had.
  
  I’m making stew for the camp tomorrow. It’s always so good.
- Ok I will thanks
- You sound like enjoyable company.
  
  I am if you’re not whining. I’m an absolute peach.
  
  Which camper hurt you? You're through the entire comments with a massive chip on your shoulder lol
  
  You know who isn't enjoyable company? The fucking idiot who made the original post.

So many fragile campers in the comments. It's ok if people don't like your hobby. They might not find it worth the time, money, and effort to "get good". You don't have to defend the things you like from people who aren't into it.
- Your dozen comments suggest this is pretty important to you. I take it you've suffered in the wilderness at some point? If so, my sympathies! A rough night outdoors can be genuinely awful.
  But the "fragile" campers aren't crying because they feel insulted - they're just trying to share information about their hobby and hopefully help people like you not hate their lives if/when they venture into the wilderness.
  It's not like fucking sounding or taxidermy, but those were hilariously silly analogies, so thanks for that.
  It's more like someone making a meme about a video game that basically boils down to "this game sucks because I skipped the tutorial" and you're out here saying "yeah but the game is torture."
  You don't have to camp! It's genuinely not for everybody, and that's okay! But many people love it, so try not to be so down on others for the things they love and for trying to share their hobbies with others.
- How dare anyone engage in conversation about the topic of the post! I might accidentally SEE an opinion I disagree with!
  
  That is kinda what it feels like, yeah, that the pro-camp camp can't accept that some people don't like camping.
- It's also entirely reasonable for people to roast you and tell you to git gud when you make a whole ass post about it though. Right?
  It's like those posts about turning 30 and your body falling apart immediately. No, you're probably doing something very wrong, that's not normal. We can point you in the right direction and you can choose to ignore it, that's fine. Nobody's really being fragile here.
  
  Right, it's just as silly when I do it as all the commenters come in to defend camping.
- Not when everything OP mentioned is lack of skills. One thing is to not like camping other is doing it completely wrong..
  
  If you don't like sounding, is it because of a lack of skill? Because it's fun actually, you're just doing it wrong. You should buy the right equipment and learn how to do it right. It's one thing to not like it, but have you even done it correctly?
- I would normally agree with you on the “get good” sentiment being obnoxious to deal with but…. nature doesn’t fuck around. People who go into the wilderness unprepared can and do die.
  It’s not just bears and starvation that can kill you. You can get sick, get infections, get poisoned, get frostbite, hypothermia, heat stroke, and many other afflictions that will either ruin your trip, ruin your life, or kill you if you’re unlucky enough. Even just something as simple as scraping your knee on a rock can give you a staph infection that costs you your leg, a risk that can be averted just by wearing a pair of jeans when walking in the woods.
  But besides all that: camping is way more enjoyable when you do some basic research, make a plan, and do the basic preparations you need for the plan to be successful. If you’re not willing to do that then you probably shouldn’t go camping in the first place!
  
  You sound like every other comment I'm talking about. You're patting yourself on the back and saying um actually camping is fun. Again: you don't have to defend your hobby from people that don't like it.
  Also, saying you gotta do everything right or die makes camping sound even worse.
- Where are these comments?
  
  Yeah, that's a good faith question. Blocking you.

all of that and yet somehow i feel better than ever

The only thing I really struggle with is shitting in the woods. Everything else is manageable.
- More fiber.
  Also, if you wait long enough, it won't be a struggle.
  Depending on how far you need to travel, just bring a 5 gallon bucket with a hole cut in the bottom. Flip it over and shit through the hole. Portable toilet.
  
  I don't necessarily mean struggle with the act, it's just the nature of it.
  I like plumbing, I'm particularly attached to it.

Air mattress and a good sleeping bag.
Use a candle and a spray. You also shouldn't get bites inside your tent.
Fucking how? Also, if your backpack has food, it should either be in your car, suspended in the air between trees or in a locker provided by the campground.
See 1.
Tarps exist for several reasons, putting them above your tent and your eating area is one of them.
- That's a lot of work when you can just stay home.
  
  Life's a lot of work when you could just be dead instead
- Do you use the candle and spray as a flamethrower
  
  Only for the big mosquitos
- Or a cot. I'm a huge cot fan.
  
  Not liking camping without a cot or a backpacking hammock is like saying you don't like swimming because your jeans get too heavy.

That's why I bought a camper van.

I used to hate camping for this reason.
Then I learned how to set up a hammock. It's (roughly) the same amount of effort to set up, but I actually sleep better than in a bed.
- Switching to hammocking made a huge difference for me!
  Eventually I did the AT and hammocked almost every night. Only drawback was leaving my pack outside overnight and picking off the spiders and insects in the am.
  
  You mean picking the spiders from you or from your backpack?
  I case of the former, there are mosquito nets for hammocks. I use them when I go wild camping with my hammock almost every time.
  I'm case of the later, maybe putting on the rain protection might help, as you can pull it off and give it a good shaking in the morning.
- I use a portable cot with a mattress pad, it's quite comfy =)
  
  I love my backpacking cot, sets up in like 2 minutes and I'm off the ground and can lay comfortably anywhere, I like to lay by the fire before bed at night, it's perfect.
- Tangentially related: setting up hammocks in my living room was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. It’s so comfortable.
- It's pretty much the only way I get a decent nights sleep while camping, even with a great air mistress my back gets sore
  
  Yeah, but air mistresses give really good blow jobs! I'll let myself out...

Tell your friend to gitgud

Jon, Arbuckle?

This is why you day hike and sleep in a hotel.

I hate camping too lol, but I like staying in nature in a little cabin or lodge haha

I fucking hate camping so much

I like to set my tent up in the lowest elevation spot I can find too.
- I live in the PNW, it’s like nature conjures up rain clouds to place directly over any campsite. People here act like the rain makes it better and will tell you to bring your own blue skies, a blue tarp to hang over all your stuff

It's definitely an experience rather than a vacation sort of thing. I like it

I detest camping. I've camped in a number of places and it has never been good. I don't care if it's the rolling Mongolian steppe greeting me in the morning, it's still horrible.
I like floors.
- Which is why I upgraded to an RV/Camper. The smallest, lightest I can find.
  I don't mind being outside, cooking, eating, everything else. But I want a floor and a bed for sleeping, along with kind-of-solid walls.
  
  That sounds about where I'm at. I'm happy to spend all day outside and I prefer to be barefoot in general. But I want a bit of floor for sleeping on. Far too many nights spent in perpetually soggy tents!

i stopped going camping when i moved away from home. good riddance.

Was your tent just a sheet over a single string?
- If you’re in a hammock, a tarp overhead (and maybe a bug net around the hammock) is often all you need. You’re off the ground, so you don’t need to worry about water runoff. And sleeping in the open means there’s always a breeze to keep you cool, even on a warm rainy night. All the tarp does is keep the wet from hitting you in the face, and gravity keeps it off of everywhere else.

Homelessness, but fun.
- Stealth camping is a real thing, where people try to scout spots to stay overnight without getting caught.
  But unless it’s coming from a specific part of France, it’s just sparkling homelessness. It’s really just a bunch of rich dudes who like to cosplay as homeless.
- Stealth camping is just recreational homelessness

Jon suchs at camping LOL

Camping is a blast. Pair it with fishing for a really good time