Tesla Board Opened Search for a CEO to Succeed Elon Musk

I, the MuskyMelon, officially announce my candidacy for CEO of Tesla!!!

I saw a tree with s few broken branches. Yeah a Christmas tree from last year. Could it run for CEO? I asked if he could please insult a minority group and it said nothing. I asked if he could share secrets and also nothing. It is perfect for the job! It used to be green and it would appreciate some green $$ just like a CEO.

This has been directly refuted by the Tesla board, who even told the reporters that it wasn’t true when they were asked before the article was published……then they published it anyway and didn’t include the boards comments lol
- Source on that? Just to corroborate
  
  https://x.com/tesla/status/1917812113315074055
- I hope they're not lying with the denial. If he stays, it'll drive left wingers to other options, increasing competition. And it might even drive right wingers to start buying EVs in quantity. 😁

If and when that cunt leaves you people need to continue the Tesla boycott. The message should be that association with Elon is damaging long term to a company. And not that Elon will bring publicity and notoriety to your company which can be turned into sales and increased market shares long after he's left. Because that's how these idiots think. They'll happily accept short term loss if they think the bounce back after he's gone will net them even more.
His brand is toxicity so don't support any company that works with him. Ever. Treat him like a rapist. Actually maybe that's a bad idea... if you treat him like a rapist the US will probably elect him their next president 💀🇺🇲.

If they somehow manage to make Musk sell his shares, Tesla might become a viable company again.
Until then: I don’t care.
- Idk, even before Musk went full meth head things were already heading south pretty fast - they'd completely squandered their first mover advantage and their "move fast and break things" approach was really starting to take a toll on their brand reputation. Teslas were already starting to be known as expensive cars with terrible build quality, then the constant delays and broken promises about self driving did them no favors either.
  A Tesla made sense when they were pretty much the only really viable luxury EV, but when you can get equivalent cars (with better build quality) from established Western manufacturers for ~75% the price or from a Chinese manufacturer for ~60%, what advantage do they have?
  Musk's cult of personally is/was a big part of it, so they are kinda screwed either way - the stink of Musk won't instantly vanish if they get rid of him, and taints everything while he stays
  
  Yeah I think they would have had to slow down or stop sales and make a big deal about reworking their production lines for better QC. Then come back a year or two later with actual improvements. I think Tesla probably have enough brand recognition that they can survive without Musk so hopefully they kick him out.
  I think the US car industry as a whole is due for a major price adjustment, so I kind of see that as it's own issue. Car prices need to be cut at least in half to make them practical as utility items. We're being asked to drive vehicles that costs as much as a house did 30 years ago, and are approaching the same size, on the highway and leave them parked inches from each other.
- Introducing the Tesla phantom zone cyber prison first and only volunteer - Elon!
- Do you know the saying, the revolution devours all its children.
  The electric car revolution is over. Tesla is over.
  
  The electric car revolution is over.
  Ah yes, I forgot that the USA is the only country in the world, my mistake.

https://www.ft.com/content/60c778d4-9e1a-41e0-a1f4-8e0ba797954b
Tesla board denies launching search for Musk’s successor
- So a few possibilities.
  The board started looking and are lying about looking once it leaked.
  A member of the board started and that leaked, possibly on purpose.
  Someone leaked that they started looking just to gauge what the response would be from shareholders and the general public.
  
  None of those are mutually exclusive.
- archive.today link

How about a potato? On the minus side, it doesn't do anything, but it has the advantage of not being an utter piece of shit that does nazi salutes.
- Still less of a nazi.
  
  Her neurotoxin doesn't discriminate
- Reinstate Eberhard and Tarpenning.
  You know, the actual founders, who got forced out after the fascist Afrikaner failson pulled the same corpo tissy tantrum bullshit he did at Paypal?
  All Musk did was follow the general strategic plan for the company that Eberhard and Tarpenning had laid out.
  Then, when that outline was run out, and Elon had to actually think of something else, it all became a total shitshow, quite rapidly.

I've been expecting this for a good while.
Rule #1 Never believe his announcements. They may be true or not.
Rule #2 Always assume that most people believe in him and his announcements.
Rule #3 After applying the rules #1 and #2, sometimes you can see what he is trying to achieve with the announcement itself.
Most times it is about inflating his ego. Often it is about pushing (manipulating) the stock market.
So when he recently announced to "be allocating far more of my time to Tesla.” I immediately thought the hell you want to donate them your oh so precious time, again, suddenly (there would even be admitting a fault in it if he actually did), no you just want the stocks to stay up. And so I concluded that he doesn't feel like taking responsibility at Tesla anymore.
- I agree. And there is also a situation like this, where even if the claim is truthful, It doesn't actually change anything. He could shift from being the CEO to being the number one advisor to the company, and given his ownership, it would still be the same in effect.

Next weeks news: Tesla board members all die in tragic autodrive mishaps.
- All have their X accounts barred for promoting hate.

This won't actually work, but you can't blame them for considering it.

UnPaywalled

Paywall
- Learn to jump the wall https://lifehacker.com/how-to-bypass-a-paywall-to-read-an-article-for-free

This should have happened awhile ago. Lots of good people work at Tesla and I'd like to be able to buy an American made electric without worrying about vandalism or worse. Yeah there are a couple of other options but this should be one too.
- I mean, just because Elon won't be CEO anymore doesn't mean he won't be getting funds from it to fund his bullshit. He's still an owner of it...
  
  Spoiler, assholes own everything. Good luck finding products that don't make people you hate richer. Yeah you can find small niche products like beard wax from a local guy, but a car? Please tell me about a great car company.
  
  he's a minority owner, don't think he himself even holds a majority of voting shares outright--there's some bullshit and shenanigans going on that gives him the 'control'. iirc, it requires near-90% approval of all non-musk held voting shares to make 'major' changes like ousting a board member or ceo. that's why he's still 'in charge'

Fucking finally

Tesla board denies launching search for Musk’s successor