Listening to my employer's son and his complaints
About an $1,800 kitchen faucet that doesnt interface with Alexa properly.
Im liable to take the faucet and beat him with it til his legs dont work any more. The disconnect here may as well be the Grand Canyon and im Evel Knievel.
AI assist bidet that takes 10,000 pictures of your butthole and uploads them to the cloud so you and your doctor can review your anal health.
I put 100,000 pictures of my ass on the internet
So the NSA could spy on it
Keep an eye on it
Maybe tell the FBI on it
I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:
There is a real startup from a few years ago raising money for a toilet with cameras using machine learning to analyze your dumps.
And shit somehow still leaks your personal data to advertisers, so you get haemorrhoid cream recommended on Amazon before your doctor even knows about the situation.
I see you have also watched the adult swim Smart Pipe skit
Smart home mfs when hackers get control of their appliances and demand crypto in order to turn the taps back on:
Moen makes a device that is internet powered.
It ties in to your incoming 3/4"-1" distribution line where it enters the house.. puts usage stats on a nice pretty dashboart, and also contains a shut off to kill the house feed on the off chance you are not home and spring a leak.
IIRC there are active security exploits for it if one were so inclined.
Every day, further from the light. Or whatever.
As an engineer who works with lots of data, I have so much disdain for “dashboards.” Execs spent the last 10-15 years demanding pretty pictures and numbers on a single screen, of which they comprehend very little. Now they wanna shove all that data into an AI so they don’t even have to pretend to look at it. God forbid they ask their employees in the field for their analysis.
I feel most dashboards can be replaced by a single message to the project manager: “yo is shit fucked today?” “nah” “ok cool”
Even better is to demand crypto to turn the taps off.
Why in the fuck does this moron need Alexa to control his faucet???
I saw a fancy shower faucet with Alexa that had one cool feature. You could ask for a specific temperature and it would manipulate internal valves to maintain it.
I wouldn't buy a $2k shower control with spyware for that feature, but it would be nice.
Even that is kinda of silly to me. I went my whole life adjusting water temp based on feel. I really don’t need to know that my ideal water temp is 99.8764356 degrees.
my records say you haven't showered in a week. Are you okay?
Doesn't want touch the handles after he pisses in the sink.
My shower wand has a water-flow-powered led in it. It changes color depending on the temperature. It came in clutch when I needed a shower in my windowless bathroom during a power outage.
A year later the light died, but it's still a shower wand. I think it was $20.
I've.. never spent 1800 dollars buying a singular thing. Ever in my life. I spent $1300 on my car, that's the record.
A fucking tap. Damn.
Ooof, I’ve definitely walked into houses where people with more money than thoughts have screens on their fucking shower faucets. Screens on the tub.
Asking me to fix them because they’re afraid to call the people who installed them because it would be too expensive.
Imagine dying of thirst because you couldn't affors to renew your amazon prime subscription
$1800 on a faucet? My partner takes home like £200 less than that…and they say that the rich are good with money.
Shit, im currently in the process of a top out/trim out on a plumbing remodel, i just installed a $2,400 Waterstone branded faucet.
And they go even further from there. There are niche plumbing fixtures that run upwards of 5,000 apiece. Waterstone, Brizo, Phylrich, Hans Grohe, etc.
Its absurd.
That is a $2,400 dollar faucet. Brushed brass, not gold. Replacement parts not available readily, must be ordered. So, i cant even fix the fucker if you call me because its leaking. Meanwhile my 125 dollar Moen kitchen faucet i can find parts for it six ways to Sunday.
these people are morons. I'm not particularly jazzed about the $100 Moen faucet and sprayer combo update I'll do for my sister this weekend, as I'd prefer to rig up one of those $300 commercial kitchen deck mounted, overhead sprayer deals.
I could imagine going up to $500 on parts for something truly perfect, durable, and awesome for myself and kind of intend on it when I get to set up my.own place eventually. something that takes me back to those halcyon days of youthful summers spent washing dishes professionally.
but $2400 is deranged. and wtf does it need to connect to a networked device for? I hate rich people.
That, is a $1400 dollar bar faucet.
There are some area codes I wouldn't mind drone bombing
Skill issue. It's not fair that this failson can just burn $1800 on an inferior product while normal people go hungry.
A fucking "smart" faucet. Come the fuck on this is beyond parody.
Kohler x Studio McGee.
I lnow what Kohler is, no idea whom or what 'Studio McGee' is. Some bougie BS from the ten seconds i spent looking into it.
Were i a smarter man id figure out a way to exploit it.
Does my faucet come with firmware security fixes? If so how long? Do i toss it before the hardware (valves/cartridge/etc) craps out or the software craps out and some asshole somewhere starts making my water turn off and on remotely?
I just turn the valves with my hands
Plebe!
A fool and his money are soon parted.
Like a whole semi-weekly paycheck at the median wage
the fuck it do?
'Alexa turn the kitchen faucet on hot'
'Alexa turn the faucet on cold'
Meanwhile i just my faucet on manually because i still havent figured out how to wash my hands remotely despite my faucet being internet powered.
everyday i pray based hackers appear who would do shenanigans in smart homes for shenanigans sake, instead of complicated blackmail crimes.
like only value i can see for this is for very specifically disabled folks with very specific aims for that faucet.
Fart sounds 10 hours