Art of the deal

"we want to win"
Or, alternatively
"Some fat personal bribes please"
- That's probably the exact reason, they didn't SAY they wanted bribes on the record, but made a gesture of rubbing their fingers and thumb together and the Japanese delegation ignored or misinterpreted it
  
  They most definitely did not misinterpret it.
  
  “How is this entire shipping container covered by the de minimis tariff exemption?”
  (a door swings open spilling thousands of the world’s tiniest violins)
  
  You want paper towel? Yes?
- They would like Japan to send them one large box of owning the libs. It's all they ever want.

"We're not allowed to just straight out ask for a bribe, so you have to figure that out on your own and give us the money under the table."
"Did you stay at a Trump branded hotel ofr this trip? That'd be a start."
- What's really stopping them from openly asking for bribes?
  
  Nothing, now. Didn't they change the laws to say government employees can receive "tips"?

What they want is: to reduce the trade deficit. But they don't know how to do that. The most straightforward way is to produce more American products that people in other countries want. But how can Japan do that for them?
- Is there really a trade deficit when you factor in services?
  That's what Trump conveniently "forgets" when talking about Evil Europe. Once you compare trade and services balance it's quite even
  
  Building a service-based industrial economy would be good for capitalism.
  Unfortunately Trump does not serve capitalism. He serves fascism. And fascism requires factories that can be reconverted for a wartime effort once the immigrants and the queer start running out. That's the fundamental lifecycle of fascism.
  Americans are sending us all on a path leading straight to WWIII and nuclear Armageddon if they don't fix their shit but everybody's too pussy to spell it out as if this demented ape doesn't have unlimited control of the most powerful army on Earth and enough nukes to end civilization several times over.
  
  The US has a global trade surplus if you account for tech, financial and healthcare services.
  There is an argument to be made that being able to produce certain things domestically is important from a national security standpoint (semiconductors for example).
  Whether tariffs could actually produce that, no one actually knows.
- Literally educate your populace, you dumb fucking sacks of shit.
  God. Why are conservatives so insulatedly stubbornly braindead fartingly fucking stupid??
  You want to compete on a global scale? Make your population better than the other ones: INVEST IN YOURSELVES.
  
  Republicans are incapable of doing that because they see anything that helps someone as a "Handout"
  
  You want to compete on a global scale? Make your population better than the other ones: INVEST IN YOURSELVES.
  Educate the masses for free? Sounds like COMMUNISM. We won't have any of that in the ol' US of A. Get out of here with your Red Danger!
- One of the primary criticisms of Atlas Shrugged is that the villains are so moustache-twistingly farcical in their incompetence and greed that all the workers of the world are morally justified in going on strike, killing most everyone.
  The book is full of what I thought were ridiculous strawman stories like what happened to the Japan delegation.
  
  True anarchocapitalism is when the free market has you hammer a girder hard enough to become an unassailable steelman.
  
  Well, also that the workers of the world are the villains.
- Japan said they might try to import more US rice, but they yen is still really weak right now (even if the dollar is trying to race it by jumping off a cliff). I don't think the Japanese govt quite grasps how fucking stupid the Orange administration is yet.
  Maybe they need to start having those political satire shows like the Daily Show, but people mostly don't get involved in politics to the same degree as the US.
  https://apnews.com/article/japan-trade-tariffs-trump-d23573689292edd7b3cea7496438a4a0
- That doesn't make any sense. Clearly the way forward is to implement, then delay random tariffs several times. Now, Apple will be sure to start building iPhones in the US!

I'm surprised it didn't go even worse.
- DID THEY EVEN SAY THANK YOU?!?!
  
  Additional 100% tariff on everything except anything imported on days starting with "t" except Tuesdays.
- Really, I mean how many people were actually hit with gunfire. None? Pfft - straight up win.

All the GOP wants is to feel like they're in charge, they don't have any real vision for America outside of it being less gay.
- Well, that and white and male. Oh, and spray-on tans are ok as well.
  
  And eyeliner.
  
  Basically Jersey Shore
- The GQP hasn't had an idea other than, give rich tax brakes, since I've been alive
  
  That's an unfair characterization and completely untrue.
  They also want to deregulate everything.
- The more they do shit like this the more they look "school playground gay"
- No they want it to appear less gay while they do "gay" shit and diddle kids.

Conservative America wants to publicly bitch about petty non-existent grievances while demanding that they be taken seriously.
- It's worked on their constituents, but they can't seem to understand why it doesn't work on the rest of the world.

They were too shy to admit they wanted anime waifus to be real so they could import them.
- the home-grown ones just don't taste the same
- Comrade Miku would have to register as a foreign agent for both Japan and Brazil

🦭💨
- Fart of the seal?
  
  That is correct!

Basically this. Looking forward to South Park mocking how fuck stupid this administration is
- South Park lost me with their many, many "both sides" over the years. I have yet to see them properly stab MAGA in the face out of more than temporary shame.
  
  "we can make fun of everyone! so we're going to run a years-long transphobic storyline!"
  like, no, that's exactly how priests who diddle kids rationalize it - I do good things so I can't do bad.
  
  It was hard to stay on board as a transwoman with the blatant transphobia and all that.
- South Park has traditionally supported the GOP by either normalizing things or both-sides'ing.
  Don't expect them to suddenly stop now.
  
  I wouldn't call that support, just not flat out calling it bad. They just tell you like it is, you gotta make the call of what's right and wrong with what's going on. I'd say they lean more "liberal" personally, but they rich AF so not in the same game we are playing anyways.
- I'm pretty sure this administration is using South Park and the Simpsons as a guide.

if the last month has taught us anything, real 4D chess would be "make the Switch 2 here, we'll exempt any tariff that goes to it, and lift the ones on you"
- That would triple the price of a product people are already complaining it's too expensive
  
  i realize my wording is a bit wonky, when i say "we'll exempt any tariff that goes to it", I meant the getting resources from elsewhere would be subsidized
  also just lower the minimum wage to $2 :^)
- That would make too much sense, it would be better if they demanded that Super Mario gives up his Japanese citizenship

We want nothing and you offer nothing?
Deal!

They want to perpetually be the victim.
- It's straight up psychological abuse. They want others to try and read their souls (aka guess) so that they can have the upper hand of being able to say it's not good enough. Or that it has offended them in some way and oh look tariffs just went up again.
- That and personal benefits. Trump is all about the grift. He doesn't care about Americans, never has. If Japan said they'd make a statue of him on the top of mt Fuji he's be touring it on every news station within the hour.

This is one of the best scenes in Bronson actually
Male frontal nudity warning:
https://youtu.be/Y_IphvasWo8
Also YouTube warning
On Odysee: https://ody.sh/rOeTUhrYh7
- Is there any way to view this link without having a Youtube account? I can't make one.
  
  As soon as I figure out Odysee, I'll throw you a link
  
  There ya go: https://ody.sh/rOeTUhrYh7
  
  Why not?

Americans: "What do WE want? Oh...you don't understand. What are YOU bringing to us as an offering to the god king so that he may bestow his benevolence upon you."
And I'm not even kidding about about that; that's exactly how the Trump administration thinks international relations should be.

What they want is fealty.

The American administration are not serious people, how can so many people not see this? It's like they're obviously not sees.

One of the contributing factors to the rise of the National Socialist German Workers' Party (Nazi), was the economic state of Germany. Establishing an us-vs-them mindset and placing people into poverty might be the point.
- The German economy overheated because of excessive government spending to appease the people. The Nazis went to war in 1939 to stave off the impending economic collapse through plundering of other country's resources.
  Edit: to those who would say it was the Versailles Treaty to blame for Germany being bankrupt during the Great Depression, it is more complicated than that. Many argue that blaming the reparations clause from Versailles is basically a myth.
  But the resentment on Versailles treaty is not the only reason and it is far more complex. The US was basically providing money to Germany through loans, so that Germany can repay the reparations set by Versailles treaty (the United States along with Britain actually opposed the terms but the French insisted). Germany was actually on her way to pay the reparations and the economy boomed after World War 1. But, when 1929 came the Great Depression happened which means the United States had no more money to give, which means Germany also had no money to pay the reparations. This caused the country to default leading to hyperinflation.
  Hitler refused to pay the remaining reparations and gave jobs to the Germans by rearming. However, this caused another inflation and impending bankruptcy which prompted Hitler to invade regions and then countries to plunder for more funds.
  
  This is a gross misrepresentation. The nazi debts were accumulated to build up a war economy in order to go to war. The plan probably always was to pay it off (or at least maintain it) through looting, but they did not take on the debt to appease the people. Exactly none of it went into improving people's lifes.
  
  Germany was economically crippled by reparations imposed after World War I. Read up on the Treaty of Versailles. The treaty, signed in 1919, demanded Germany pay 50 billion gold marks (approximately $220 billion in today's money) to cover civilian damage. This debt, along with other harsh terms of the treaty, contributed to hyperinflation, economic instability, and resentment that helped the Nazi party come to power in Germany.
  
  It wasn't loose government spending it was the reparations from ww1

Team Manchild’s take on “we’ve tried nothing and we’re all out of ideas”…

- Really mods, are you trying to turn this shit back into Reddit?

Gifts
They want large financial gifts. Preferably tax free

That's about what I would expect from the Trump regime

be nice to close all the bases in japan where crimes stem from.....
You know - when they send their enlisted personnel they don't send their best.
They sand r***ists and drunk drivers.

"We... want Trump to win. Bigly."
^(And to hurt people we hate)