US asks countries to help lower soaring prices of eggs

Denmark: Did you say "please" even once?

Good thing we've got so many international allies and are known for being such a stable, reliable economic partner. Now, if you'll excuse me, I haven't read the news in two months and I need to catch up on current events.
- Well, in those two months the USA has made new enemies by insulting and threatening with invade his own allies. Worst, the USA started an economic war against his allies for no reason.
  So no, now we are not willing to help.
  
  Guess I needed to add an /s to that one.

I would not send a single good egg until Jan 2029.
- I'd give Drumph some eggs, if only he would come within range...
- Actually I would send them ONE egg, so that they can suck on it.
- Why then? It'll just be another corrupt warmonger. Might call themselves a democrat but in the end they still serve evil.

Kneel down and beg.

Trumpty Dumpty

Oh, so now the US has pivoted to strongman style diplomacy where you rattle your sabre and then ask for concessions? I've bought a fresh carton of eggs last week, Orange Felon and his tech bro boyfriend can have them projectile delivered straight to their stupid mugs.
- What do you mean "now"? This has been standard practice for the past 200 years.

Let me see... since new years you have threatened to annex Greenland, had Musk call our finest astronaut retarded, called our Prime Minister retarded, recently Roger Stone called one of our conservative politicians a sick demented asshole on Twitter when said politician asked for the general secretary of NATO to not joke about Trump and Greenland and... oh yeah, Trump and Vance attacked and insulted our dear friend, President Zelenskyj on world wide TV.
So...... how about no? Oh, I'm sorry: no, thank you.
- Hey...just need to put this out there.
  I'm sorry my government has the dumb. I am so, so embarrassed by how things are going and how horribly rude my so-called "leaders" are being to literally everyone.
  I am not like that. I respect you and your country. I want to cry when I think about how Zelenskyj has been treated. I know many, many people just like me. We are NOT like our government. We are scared. Some of us are trying to get out of the country, but many of us literally cannot...for a host of reasons, many of which involve how little money we have been able to save while this is all happening.
  I'm just so sorry. Not that this fixes anything. I'm just desperate to tell SOMEONE that. I hope you have a good day...and rest easier knowing I echo every sentiment of your post.
  
  (not so) fun fact: This entire text mirrors the sentiments of half of Russians today.
  So expect to be lumped in with the rest, enough Americans support this to represent the county as a whole.
  
  We get that some Americans voted against all this, and don't support it.
  And I hope those reasonable Americans can rescue their country from the situation it has caused for itself.
  But for now, as the leadership of the USA is attacking my country, my response has to be to protect my country from the insanity that has taken over America.
  I wish you well, and hope you guys can fix your country before it destroys us all.
  
  Ah, don't worry. I do not hold the American people responsible for what has happened to your country. When it comes down to it, the individual American has very little say in what it's government is doing and in my opinion, your government has been very successful in manipulating its population into believing in a very untrue and very romantic image of how America is and how it is perceived in the world at large.
  So don't apologize. You can't help where you were born and raised, neither can the rest of the world's population. I cant help that i was born and raised in a country that decided to spy on its european neighbors for America and i would be very annoyed if people online blamed me personally for what some retards in charge have decided to do. If anything, my sympathies goes out to people like you who are trapped in that hellhole. I do hope this is just a very unfortunate stumble in American history and that your country will return to form and eventually evolve socially like I have wished for you for decades.
  I will be honest, I have very few nice things to say about America, long before trump even came on my radar. I have despised America for most of my life, but I don't hate all Americans. At all. It's not your fault your country is built on a system that caters to the rich and teaches its people that all things that are good for the people is evil communism while all things good for the 1% is good for everybody. You guys deserves so much better.
  America as an institution and a public face on the world scene, however, I have no love for. I never had and I wasn't surprised when it decided to stab us in the back the moment we needed it despite us bleeding money and young men's blood for the American institution for 20 years. I am not surprised that we are being treated this way. It fits perfectly with the American playbook I have witnessed since I was a kid and saw Bush use 911 to invade the middle east and high key sent a message to the rest of us that if we weren't on America's side we would be their enemy. Which is partially why I think we ended up joining you in Iraq and Afghanistan.
  But no, I'm not surprised that this is our reward for bleeding for the American institution. Threats of annexing our territory, childish insults to our politicians, abandoning Ukraine and making friends with Russia. America has only ever cared about its own interests while pretending to be the world hero. All trump did was going mask off and that must be a shock to some Americans who believed the American institution was good and selfless.

Yeah, good luck with that America after you've insulted and threatened every ally that would sell us eggs.
Dumbasses.

The eggs aren't even that much more expensive to produce. The hit has only been about 2%. There's still plenty of eggs. And it's the same with getting free range eggs instead of battery/cage - the increase in production price is pretty small, really.
It comes down to the same thing: the market charging premiums. They charge more for free range because it's 'luxury'. They charge more for organic because it's 'lifestyle'. And they charge more for eggs during US strife because it's 'supply and demand'.
They have the supply. They also have an excuse, and nobody is regulating them. The country doesn't need to buy eggs en masse, it needs to regulate pricing.
- They actually don’t have the supply. The USA is short tens of millions of eggs because of all the hens they had to slaughter due to bird flu. Which RFK probably doesn’t think is real.
  
  Which RFK probably doesn’t think is real.
  This is the danger. The conspiracy crowd is already denying bird flu. The culls are evidence of government conspiracy to force us to eat da bugs/fake meat.
  We’re going to hit a pandemic which our government will pretend does not exist. The narrative has already been hammered out on Facebook for them.
- sounds like socialism to me. allow the invisible hand to work.
  
  If the invisible hand end up yeeting Trump out of the White House, I'm all for it

Ask for 50% mineral rights and a thank you.
- OOTL... What's with the thank you meme?
  
  American responding here.
  JD Vance and Trump both told Zelenskyy that he never said thank you for our help. They are such fucking twats and ignore how many times he’s said it in the past publicly.
  
  Trump/Vance and Zelensky had a meeting recently where it was ridiculous hostile and mentioned trival things like Zelensky didn't say thank you. I would recommend watching it but it very embarrassing for a "world leader" to be so hostile to a friendly nation.
  That's why Zelensky went on x and thank everyone afterwards
  https://youtu.be/v_kTNIYsFnQ?eQUm55ju6GKxNTdT
  
  It's what the administration demanded in order to 'talk to' Putin about ending the war in Ukraine.

The fastest way to have a people turn on it's leaders is for the food supply to be threatened.
Wouldn't it be wonderful if Americans turned on their leaders?
- Yup. The US is currently deporting a significant portion of it's agricultural workforce, while putting insane tariffs on the countries it imports food from, while also doing major cuts to the government which makes problems like avian flue more likely.
  The Trump regime has a very "let them eat cake" approach to the food supply.
  
  while putting insane tariffs on the countries it imports food from
  Also on the country they import most of their fertilizer from.
  Real "stable genius" moves going on there.
- Interesting that the orange traitor flooded CA's farms in response to the recent wildfires, while also threatening undocumented farm workers, while also levying taxes across broad swaths of the economy. Seems to me that he's been instructed on actions to take to raise food prices. Hmm...
  
  Don't forget the whole pretending that bird flu doesn't exist thing.

FUCK THAT. Let's see eggs go to $5/each. We need to face the consequences of our collective fucking idiot electoral choices.
- I'm confused as to why people are still buying eggs. I've gotten on fine without them all my life
  
  They were a relatively cheap, healthy, reliable source of protein. Also, they're delicious.
  
  Eggs have been a staple poverty food in the US. Frying up one egg can give you your whole day's supply of protein plus a lot of nutrients, and it used to be that it could do that for about 20 cents. No more, though.
  
  Probably mostly restaurants right now.
  
  I like making Dutch babies

everything except actually putting the companies responsible in check.
- Bird flu talk sounds a little too close to vaccine talk, and farmers vote Republican.
  
  They do, indeed.
- Theirs are the freedoms that we spend lives to protect.

Hilarious. The US reaching out to the people they've insulted, threatened or victimized in some way, shape or form and asking them for help. And when they get refused, they'll tell the American people that everyone is being so mean to them.
- That's what happens when the country is led by someone who has never faced consequences fir anything

Implement fucking price controls before you beg for European eggs ffs
- If there really are not enough eggs, that would just lead to eggs being constantly sold out.
  
  But there are enough. If there aren't, then stores can put limits on how many you can buy.

The Norwegian government will offer eggs, and we will only ask for the state of New York or as we like to call it: Nye Jorvik. The citizens of Nye Jorvik will enjoy all the benefits from a stabile, functioning social democracy.
- everyone moves to Nye Jorvik
- Please, take me! Take us!
  leaps into arms
- Can you ask them to throw in New Jersey too?
- Sinnsyk fin ide fra en sinnsyk fin bart

What does it mean the US has reached out? Individual store chains? State governments? Certainly not Trump.
- Likely USDA which is under one of his appointees so either way very dumb.
  
  I know right.
  Hey we don't want your crap in our country. America first. But while I have you on the phone....

Has America considered asking Panama for eggs? Or Gaza?

I don't know if it helps anyone, but you don't need eggs to survive
- Exactly, hamburgers, fries, kfc and pizza are all egg-free. What do they need eggs for, breakfast menu at macdonalds?
  
  Doesn't KFC use eggs in the batter?
- What does it look like when one of the world's superpowers can't even ensure they can provide such a basic thing as eggs to their citizens.
  If it was any other country at any other time, I doubt this would even hit the news. But it's the US after refusing vaccinations, losing a bunch of stock to a disease, all whilst claiming the egg prices will be lowered, so here we are.
  
  I feels very Soviet Uniony, but the US has always a lot in common with Russia..
  
  It's called a revolt.
  
  The United States isn't a superpower.
  It's just a country with a lot of guns.
- Most of my cookie recipes use eggs!
  
  Look up vegan alternatives to eggs. I know applesauce can be used in cookies as my wife has done this. Also if you need eggs in savory recipes avocados have the same fat to protein ratio and work great
  
  Oh man, most of my egg recipes do too
- What will I eat with my bacon?!
  
  More bacon.
  
  Perhaps a couple of Lipitor? In my house we've started saving money by substituting Wegovy for eggs in our recipes.

Air delivered eggs from another continent, surely they're going to be cheap. If only there were at least two neighboring countries that could be able to send them for cheaper...
- Unfortunately they have totally unpreventable tariffs right now. I said totally unavoidable. No way to prevent it.
  
  Very sad, very sad
- Why would anyone want to help ?
  
  For profit.
- Trump Says “We Don't Need Products From Canada”. Repeatedly said in recorded interviews.

Do not help us. This is what we deserve.
- 💯
- What's ironic is that from all countries he is asking Denmark. Greenland is An autonomous territory under the kingdom of Denmark.
  I heard that before asking Greenland he was asking Canada as well.
  
  Is he trying to neg us by threatening our sovereignty and then asking for a favour??? Most high schoolers know better than to fall for that. Like, get real.
  
  I think you meant "kingdom of Denmark" there, but yeah
- Thank you for your sacrifice.
  Sincerely,
  An egged-up Australian
- Change your display name to True Facts

Citizen of the United States here. Don’t. Assume whatever this orange anal fistula offers to pay will in fact not be paid. Assume whatever agreement brokered will immediately be ignored or violated. Assume this pus filled clementine will still try to “take” Greenland.
Let this shithole 3rd world country burn. It asked for fascism in the form of egg prices, let them deal with their egg prices.
- As a Canadian, the US can have my eggs on the condition of the delivery method being lobbing them over the border at official government buildings.
  
  Ok that’s fair
- Also a Yank. At this point we really do deserve the punishment. I just hope that when we get a new administration in a little less than four years the world has a shred of sympathy for us.
  
  Unfortunately Europe can't wait four years for the US to start taking their responsibilities on the world stage seriously again. Russia will almost certainly move within that time, so Europe is now having to build up its defenses in a way that they've never previously had to do since the 1940s. Assuming the US does come around (that is a big "if") by that point Europe will have already got used to using its own military. The US will no longer be required.
  I really don't see any way that things can now go back to the way they were. Trade will, but I think the days of cooperative military action are over. If you guys get embroiled in another pointless war in the Middle East, I think you're going to have to do that on your own.
  
  At the moment, you definitely do. Most of you, and not just Trump voters. Why are you guys so fucking passive? Where are the millions of people protesting on the streets? Where's the civil disobedience? The strikes? With the attitude the Americans show currently, there will be no elections in 4 years, hell, there might not even be mid-term elections in 2
  
  It will only take two years if people actually fucking vote in the midterms. But midterm turnout is historically… Well… Complete dogshit. And republicans are statistically more likely to vote in midterms.
  That’s why Trump is moving so fast to try and secure things; He doesn’t truly have four years to cement himself as god-emperor. He only has two before he potentially loses his majority in congress. So he has to be crowned before then.
  But even with that being said, I don’t have high hopes. As I said before, republicans are more likely to vote in midterms. Maybe Trump’s antics will be enough to get some blue voters off of their asses. But at this point, I’m not holding my breath.
  
  I hope that you get a new administration in a little less than 4 years.
  The Republicans aren't destroying the rule of law and hand absolute power to the presidency, just to give it to the opposition on the next occasion.
  
  I don't believe you. Or you're not a stake holder anywhere. I have children. Wishing for things to get get worse is fucking stupid.

We use the word eggs in German the way yankies use nuts or balls. That said, yes, you can swallow our eggs, dear US government.
- die zeggs
  
  Deez eggs
- How’d your most recent election go?
  
  Iirc, they didn't actually elect fascists.

Didn't their leader said they don't need to rely on other countries?

And they all answered "yes, you can eat our eggs, but not how you would expect"
- Mexico's got some huevos for the U.S to suck on

No, fuck you.

Canada here. Our eggs are cheap.
You want em?
Take your trade war agression and shove it up your ass!
You want to take our sovereignty away?
…starve.
<intentionally drops an egg while smiling>
- Brb going to throw eggs across the border
  
  Aim for a Tesla
- the US right now
- Genuinely, fuck us over as hard as you can.
  I know about Type 2 “Sorry”, but there are an absolute shitload of idiots down here who don’t.
  
  For those who don't know, Canada has two types of "Sorry".
  The first is "I'm sorry for what I did."
  And the second is "I'm sorry for what I'm about to do."
  That's the one that usually ends up adding new entries to the Geneva Conventions.
  
  shitload of idiots
  I might agree to ship Canadian eggs to the US...
  The Kinder Surprise ones, that is.
  I'm assuming the bottom 30% dumbest of the US population would instantly die from choking on the toy inside.
- You want eggs? Fucking take em
  <proceeds to throw eggs across the border like baseballs>
- triple charge for eggs.

lol

Help? Help? What happened to wanting to be a proud independent country that don't need no allies.
- Maybe Russia has some eggs they can lend in these trying times.
  
  I'll take a couple of them Fabergé eggs.

Denmark, from who they want to steal Greenland. They are obviously terminally stupid in Washington.

"You will become part of the US."
two days later....
"Bro my egg prices are high, can you help a brotha out?"

I've got a whole sack of eggs I'm selling for cheap, but you gotta extract them yourselves. In fact, I'll even pay you, but then you gotta go after. Don't hang around after.
- I'm not kinkshaming, but yeesh, you can do better.

This is a joke right? Something from the Onion? Why would any country help out Trump now?
- Ask Turkiye.

I thought the US didn’t need anything from anyone else? Isn’t that what you said?

UNREAL.

This is why we HAD allies. Had. To assist with the largesse we consume as Americans. You don’t get to swing your orange dick around at the world, offending and assaulting every ally, and then ask for help.

Maybe it's time for Europe to make a Trump-style "deal" with the US for Ukraine

Well, well, well... if it isn't the consequences of your own actions

Ask Canada… oh, wait!
WOMP WOMP WOMP, EH?
- Just picked up 2 dozen local eggs for $9.99CAD.
  
  Fuck kinda pricey bud. Where abouts?

as an American

Yah, we're going to need you to go fuck yourself.
- It's a weird feeling, being what feels like a sane person in an insane country run by insane people. Hearing people tell us to go fuck ourselves when we probably agree with everything they are saying. And really not even blaming them for feeling that way based on the absolute lunatics in charge and how they behave.
  
  Those of us who are sane totally get it.

As a true American, don't help us with eggs, it'l hurt your country in the long run. Let us suffer so we can get our heads out of our asses and purge the nazis.

I would love to see NATO countries (besides the US) band together and say:
”We will come together to support our great ally, so long as she saves herself. Upon the acceptance of President Trump's and Vice President Vance's resignation, we will provide the aid that our friend needs."
Trump could, in fact, be the hero here. He could walk away from the presidency with a win. For added measure, these countries could write lofty and wonderful articles about Trump's selflessness.
We know he won't.
Aside: I'm not saying Mike Johnson would make a good president. But let's take this one thing at a time.
- Honestly, I love this idea. Why aren't America's former allies calling for the resignation of Trump and Vance? Let the American people know that if they want cheaper eggs, and better trade deals, they're going to have to find a way to get rid of these traitors who have seized power.
- "On this trade war that HE started…"
  Ok.. but then it’d be truth for once 😅

Friends! Canadians! Countries of unfamiliar spellings! Lend me your eggs!
- But don't send me your poor people. .. Unless they are carrying eggs. Then let them come... we'll keep the eggs and send the people back.

Friendly reminder that eggs aren't a required part of a healthy diet, from your friendly neighborhood vegan!
- I'm not even vegan and I've always gotten on fine without eggs
- you don't know any one else's dietary needs
  
  Good for you!

So Trump can't get it under control. Got it.
- Well, he solved it on day one.
  On day two, eggs went unexpectedly expensive again. It's not his fault.

Oh now Trump wants allies?
Recognize the passive voice: "The US has reached out". They don't say Trump reached out or the Trump administration reached out.

That would increase the prices in the exporting countries. It's not as if there's such a huge surfeit that they're being destroyed.

Lay your own eggs, turkey looking cunt.
- If we did, we couldn’t import them and charge a tariff to bleed our people dry one egg at a time until they are broke and slaves on the corporate plantation.
- Jive ass turkey looking cunt

Hold the line Denmark. Don't pull a fucking Australia. Fuck those guys.

I'm not saying we should...
But negative tariffs on eggs coming out of the USA and ridiculous tariffs on eggs going into the USA would tickle my funny bone
- OMG yes, have canada subsidize imports of american eggs. that would make me so fucking hot. I'd be out a lot of baked goods for a while, but cannot make myself care. I'll learn to bake vegan or something.
- Hear me out - apply a tariff from EU to Canada on eggs (stay with me). Apply a tariff 2X that tariff to the US on eggs imported from Canada. Something something, profit
- We'd be helping their industry recover from fuck ups, no thanks

'Request denied', this is an AI response derived from our 'don't give a damn' American Tech programmers.

Government: Runs into crowd of friends while winging haymakers.
Friends: JFC what the hell dude!?
Government: Fuck you, now give me your house. ... ... ... Can you spot me $50 until payday?
- America is basically the scumbag Steve meme from the early Internet.
  
  R.I.P Scumbag Steve.

Other countries: "No. Thank you." 🤭🤭🤭🖕🖕🖕
- You're not wrong, I'm just going to fix something.
  Other countries: "No. Thank you." 🤭🖕🤭🖕🤭🖕

America, Fuck You Asshole!