If your username would predict the way you die, how will it happen?

Sleeping with the fishes

Oh god

Some kind of ancient forest spirit emerges from the woods, consumes my soul and leaves my body in a coma before fading back into the trees without a trace.

Too many pineapples

Guess I run into traffic, yelling and waving at the taxi that just deliberately passed me by. Then I get hit by a truck.

A remake of Alien but with a meerkat

I'll live for eternity I guess. Really don't want that tbh

By Japanese sword thrust

Like mathematician August Ferdinand Möbius, at 77, in Leipzig?

Alcoholism.

Mine unlocks the cheat codes from Jedi knight 2. So probably dismembered by jedi or sith spawns

I choke to death while alone, try to self heimlich and fail. My body is found half eaten by my cats with my cold, dead hand still clutching the offending cheese toastie.

Oh this is an easy one

In front of my PC without anyone noticing until days later

You wouldn't understand

Whatever it is, it's going to be the subject of several YouTube documentaries.

At least I would know what was coming, three would come before me.

A stylish infinite combo from Meikyousisui MvC2 Vol. 10 that only works on me.

A very large child does something in such a way that I would die.

hmmm...

Well I'm named for a fictional character I wrote about. so presumably she comes to life and for some reason tries to kill me

Hey, somebody left some perfectly good Swiss on this block of wood. How convenient, don’t mind if I d….*

Mind control cereal

Chopped into several large pieces. But it will be awesome.

Nihilistic fruit

I'll live to see the cyberpunk era, but will not be happy about it...

Ummmm I get smothered maybe? Idk or they rise up in numbers and kill me some other way.

Eaten by a living supercomputer that thirsts for dimensional conquest

It will be a hell of a party!

In the middle of the night with nary a sound to be heard.

The US actually does invade, and I die in some kind of defensive gambit where they take more casualties than us.

Unfortunately, that's a vibe killer now, because it doesn't feel totally impossible and we still like each other. Sorry.

Well... I can tell you who didn't do it.

ah hell, I’m getting shot by a drunk hillbilly aren’t I?

If it's literal, I have a very, very, very long life of space travel ahead of me.

If it's in the Carl Sagan metaphorical 'we are star stuff' sense, then it could literally be anything.

I'll be killed by a bunch of odd, possibly shapeless movie props.

A space battle with transcendental Borg Spheres.

At least I'll get to meet Bigfoot before he kills me.

Flayed alive, I guess. Could be worse.

Knowing my luck, probably cancer.

Derogatory slur

No idea

A detective stands over my lifeless body, Detective Salvitore is panting for air, desperate to catch up to her partner and mount the hill. She reaches the crest covered in sweat, vision blurring but enthused at the grim sight before Detective Glassgow.

Salvitore fumbles for her radio, wheezing a shaky "We... we... I... found-" before Glassgow cuts her off.

"Save it Sal, I already told them we found the vegan."

Bridge collapse

I'll leave it to you, reader, to guess the "where" it is cast

He died doing what he loved!

Ceasefire Violation?

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