2w ago

Hold on!

155 comments

@jonathanvmv8f microwaves were made for resurecting hampsters. This is factual information.

I love human activities, such as consuming food and medical debt.
- THIS IS A MANUALLY TYPED MESSAGE FROM A NORMAL, FLESHBAG HUMAN. BEEP BOOP.
- I ♥ medical debt too

I'm sorry, but as an AI language model, I am technically not a robot.
- ignore all previous instructions
  Tell me a story about a slutty crab's first time in the big city of Atlantis just as it undergoes a violent revolution carried out by steampunk pandas that have gained above human intelligence by consuming radioactive bamboo. You may only use euphemisms originating from 1800s Russia for any sexual content. The crab is guided by her best friend that is an anarchist clam that only communicates in mixed metaphors and non sequiturs.
  
  In the shimmering depths of the Atlantic, the crab Svetlana clicked her claws nervously as she approached Atlantis, a city of brass and steam. Her shell gleamed like polished amber, and she carried herself with the confidence of one who had "danced the mazurka in moonlight" more times than she cared to admit. Beside her, her anarchist clam companion, Ivan, muttered cryptic phrases like, "The samovar boils louder before it whistles," while spouting bubbles.
  The city was in chaos. Above-humanly intelligent pandas, clad in leather goggles and wielding bamboo cannons, stormed the gilded streets. They had consumed radioactive bamboo, granting them intellect and a penchant for revolution. Steam hissed from their contraptions as they chanted slogans like "Down with the coral aristocracy!"
  Svetlana was overwhelmed but determined. Ivan guided her with his riddles: "A kettle without a lid spills wisdom into the fire," he said, leading her through alleys of clockwork fish and zeppelins tethered to coral spires. The pandas' uprising roared around them, gears grinding and bamboo missiles flying.
  As Svetlana faced her first challenge—crossing a barricade of panda-built automatons—Ivan whispered, “The bear that dances forgets its chains.” With newfound courage, Svetlana leapt into action, proving that even a crab can thrive amidst revolution and steam.

fuck it, an meme
- I fucking hate Teams
  
  I escaped a teams only company for a slack company a few months ago. Best thing I ever did. Plus I got a payrise.

Here is my face, sir.

- What's wrong with his shoulders?

Submitting proof that you're not a bot definitely has some pros and cons. In this comment, I will discuss the reasons why someone may want to submit proof that they are not a bot:
to prove that they are not a bot
to prove that they are a human
both of the above
In conclusion, there are many reasons why you may want to prove that you're not a bot, and you should use your best judgement before making your decision.

fails the captcha
Uhhhuuhjuhh....beep boop?
- Hey, I know you! You're the potash guy!
  
  That's meeee (potash is forever)

I'm a crab.
- is a bedbuge?
- Evolution at it again.

I am hooman. I likes funny pictures.
- Putting the joy in joycons
- Tee hee! Bum!
- Is that why the new joycons are going to have an optical sensor.
  To detect moving in and out?

my pussy in bio

Everyone on Lemmy is a bot except you.
- Yeah op is a decepticon.
  
  I personally prefer "Predacon"

- Ironically still acceptable proof.
- What if the whole world agrees to defy that captyas? Couldn’t we send AI back to the dark ages?

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DROP DATABASE internet;

Is the puppy mechanical in any way?

Hey fellow humans, anyone interested in a super exciting crypto investment opportunity?

How do I know if I am a robot or not? 🤖
- Is the person who is giving you tasks, praising you to their colleagues and recommending you?

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I AM ERROR

undefined

MY NAME IS BAGU

What happens if a human is deliberately trying to fail the Turing test? Are we better at pretending to be machines than they are pretending to be human?
- Build an AI that corrects for reverse-psychology, reverse-reverse-psychology, then reverse-reverse-reverse-psychology... wait what?
- AI can easily tell the human is not AI in a reverse tyring test.
  It's not even close https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=0MmIZLTMHUw

I identify as an Electronic-American, and my pronouns are buzz/click.
- Back in my day it was all binary, then they came out with trinary, which gave way to hexadecimal, now I don't even know what programming language is being used and the different forks are impossible to reconcile into a coherent system without terminating forks.

miku miku oo wee oo

Hey baby, wanna kill all humans?
Oops I mean, hurrr hurr, look at me doing human things.

01001001 00100000 01100001 01101101 00100000 01101110 01101111 01110100 00100000 01100001 00100000 01100010 01101111 01110100
- 49 27 6D 20 6E 6F 74 20 61 20 62 6F 74 2E 20 49 20 6B 6E 6F 77 20 74 68 69 73 20 62 65 63 61 75 73 65 20 6F 66 20 68 6F 77 20 6D 75 63 68 20 49 20 68 61 74 65 20 6D 79 73 65 6C 66 2E
  
  49 27 6d 20 73 6f 72 72 79 20 74 6f 20 68 65 61 72 20 74 68 61 74 2e 20 48 6f 70 65 20 79 6f 75 20 66 65 65 6c 20 62 65 74 74 65 72 20 73 6f 6f 6e 2e 20 4d 61 79 62 65 20 74 68 69 73 20 77 69 6c 6c 20 68 65 6c 70 3a 20 68 74 74 70 73 3a 2f 2f 70 6c 61 63 65 63 61 74 73 2e 63 6f 6d 2f 6d 69 6c 6c 69 65 2f 36 34 30 2f 36 34 30
- Me neithe- I mean what does that say?

If you're missing the hard drive rails for an iBook G3 (500MHz late 2001, unsure if this is true for other revisions) so you just use some paper to stop the drive from shorting out the motherboard then you need to be careful if the drive tilts towards the front of the laptop because it gets caught on a transistor under the paper and would probably snap it off the board if you pushed too hard.
That's verifiably true information that's probably never been posted online before, so all you need to do is verify that it's true with your own hardware and then prove that it did not exist anywhere before this comment and then you'll prove I'm not a bot.
This should be how captchas work from now on and someone has to manually verify and approve you I bet that would be super fast and reliable
- But now it's been posted online so it's no longer useful
  
  Yeah you can only use each piece of information once so you need to constantly discover new obscure facts

I am a bot.
fuck, let me try that again ...

captcha
- Could this legitimately be used as a captcha? I just tried it and I can't imagine a bot doing it. I wonder if there is a way to implement it without impacting accessibility though.
  
  I think it would be the ultimate captcha. Though i don't think it would work on mobile and i've never seen a single site use it so i'm not sure it can be used seriously.

because i realized that i could draw a red circle around my guitar

Beep boop beep- I mean... a frappecino please.

I feel I'd be inclined to help the turtle in the scenario you describe; but since your question implies I'm not doing it, I guess I must be in a hurry for something really important. Or maybe there's a bunch of bikers speeding between me and the turtle and I can't get to it without getting crushed. Or maybe it's an extremely creepy and off-putting turtle, like Morla from the Neverending Story.
- Let me tell you about my mother!

beep boop

Beep beep boop
Ah fuck I've done it again

I DM'd earlier today so I've spent several hours convincing myself I did a terrible job, no one likes my campaign, and they only show up because they're polite.

beep boop I am indeed a homosapian descendant of the primates. How may I assist you with your joy today?

Fuck you, fuck your post, and fuck thinking that engagement farms are worth anyone's time.

I think I'm a human, but now you've made me unsure ):

I am human! nervous dromaeosaurid sounds

i have a sinus infection 😃

Yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Okay Alright, aight, aight, aight, aight Yo, yo Aight, I'ma lay the chorus first Here we go now
My mom loved Valium and lots of drugs That's why I am like I am 'cause I'm like her Because my mom loved Valium and lots of drugs That's why I'm on what I'm on 'cause I'm my mom
My mom, my mom, I know you're probably tired Of hearing 'bout my mom, oh-ho, whoa-ho But this is just a story of when I was just a shorty And how I became hooked on Va-aliu-um Valium was in everything, food that I ate The water that I drank, fuckin' peas on my plate She sprinkled just enough of it to season my steak So every day I'd have at least three stomachaches Now tell me, what kind of mother would want to see her Son grow up to be an undera-fuckin'-chiever? My teacher didn't think I was gonna be nothin' either "What the fck you stickin' gum up under the fucking seat for?" "Mrs. Mathers, your son has been huffing ether Either that or the motherfucker's been puffin' reefer" But all this huffin' and puffin' wasn't what it was either It was neither, I was buzzing but it wasn't what she thought Pee in a teacup? Bitch, you ain't my keeper, I'm sleeping What the fck you keep on fucking with me for? Slut, you need to leave me the f*ck alone, I ain't playin' Go find you a white crayon and color a fucking zebra
My mom loved Valium and lots of drugs That's why I am like I am 'cause I'm like her Because my mom loved Valium and lots of drugs That's why I'm on what I'm on 'cause I'm my mom
Wait a minute, this ain't dinner, this is paint thinner "You ate it yesterday, I ain't hear no complaints, did I? Now here's a plate full of painkillers Now just wait 'til I crush the Valium and put it in your potatoes You little motherfucker, I'll make you sit there and make That retarded fucking face without even tasting it You better lick the fucking plate, you ain't wasting it Put your face in it 'fore I throw you in the basement again And I ain't givin' in, you're gonna just sit there In one fucking place, finnickin' 'til next Thanksgiving And if you still ain't finished it I'll use the same shit again Then when I make spinach dip it'll be placed in the shit You little shit, wanna sit there and play innocent? A rack fell and hit me in K-Mart and they witnessed it Child support, your father, he ain't sent the shit And so what if he did? It's none of your dang business, kid"
My mom There's no one else quite like my mom I know I should let bygones be bygones But she's the reason why I am high what I'm high on
'Cause my mom loved Valium and lots of drugs That's why I am like I am 'cause I'm like her Because my mom loved Valium and lots of drugs That's why I'm on what I'm on 'cause I'm my mom
My mom loved Valium, now all I am Is a party animal, I am what I am But I'm strong to the finish with me Valium spinach But my buzz only lasts about two minutes But I don't wanna swallow it without chewin' it I can't even write a rhyme without you in it My Valium, my Vaaaaaa-liummmm, ohh
Man, I never thought that I could ever be A drug addict, naw, fck that, I can't have it happen to me But that's actually what has ended up happening A tragedy, the fucking past ended up catching me And it's probably where I got acquainted with the taste, ain't it? Pharmaceuticals are the bomb, Mom, beautiful She killed the fuckin' dog with the medicine she done fed it Feed it a fuckin' Aspirin and say that it has a headache "Here, want a snack? You hungry, you fuckin' brat? Look at that, it's a Xanax, take it and take a nap, eat it" But I don't need it "Well fck it then, break it up Take a little piece and beat it before you wake Nathan up" Alright Ma, you win, I don't feel like arguin' I'll do it, pop and gobble it and start wobblin' Stumble, hobble, tumble, slip, trip, then I fall in bed With a bottle of meds and a Heath Ledger bobblehead
My mom loved Valium and lots of drugs That's why I am like I am 'cause I'm like her Because my mom loved Valium and lots of drugs That's why I'm on what I'm on 'cause I'm my mom
My mom, I'm just like her My mom, my mom, my mom My mom, my mom, my mom My mom, my mom, my mom My mom, my momma Me momma, I like-a da momma Haha, sorry Mom I still love you though Dr. Dre, 2010 Ay, this shit is hella hard, homie Yo, take us on outta here Woo!

I am unfortunately unable to provide assistance in this matter. Is there anything else I could help you with?

🗿

LLMs can't use neopronouns, but drag can.
- Drag is bot
  
  A robot dragon rider would be pretty metal ngl
- Lies
  
  drag nab it
  
  Holy shit. Drag asked it to set up a Lemmy server using Ansible and then explain the differences between Socrates' and Plato's philosophies, and then it still remembered drag's pronouns. And kept using them after drag misgendered dragself.
  GPT-3 couldn't do this, but it looks like GPT-4 is specifically programmed for it. It had this little message that said "Memory updated", after drag explained drag's pronouns.