3mo ago

Stop Wasting Pumpkins!

102 comments

So almost nobody read the whole image?
- That's the only reason it got my upvote
- What makes you think that. Is there something odd that people aren't commenting on or something? Maybe calling the inside guts? That's the only weird thing I recall seeing.
  
  A 'smash party' could sound like some sort of euphemism, I suppose. I'm guessing that's what they're referring to. They've just got a much dirtier mind than the rest of us.

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were travelling abroad and needed a place to sleep for the night. They stopped at a farm and asked the farmer if they could sleep there. The farmer said "Yes, you can. But all of you must promise not to have sex with my beautiful daughter." They all solemnly agreed and were shown to their room for the night.
One by one though, each of them was overcome by temptation and sneaked down the hall to farmer's daughter's bedroom to have their wicked way with her.
I'm the morning they came downstairs and were greeted by the farmer. "Good morning!" he said, "I hope you all slept well. Take a basket each and go out and pick something from my farm to eat for breakfast". Being very hungry from their travels they all eagerly went out to look for their favourite food.
The first to return was the Englishman. The farmer was waiting for him - with a loaded shotgun. "I know what you did last night!" shouted the farmer, pointing his gun at the Englishman. The Englishman threw his hands up in the air, dropping the basket of strawberries he'd picked for breakfast. "Bend over and put those strawberries up your arse and let that be a lesson to you!" The Englishman did as he was told and pushed the strawberries up his bum. Seeing that the farmer was satisfied the Englishman ran out the door and off into the distance.
Next to return was the Scotsman. "What did you pick for breakfast young man?" asked the farmer. "I picked carrots" answered the Scotsman. "Well put them up your arse you dirty bastard!" screamed the farmer, pulling out the shotgun "I know what you did last night!" "Please dont shoot me sir!" Cried the Scotsman, as he painfully pushed each of the carrots up his bum before making a break for it and running out of the house.
Last to return was the Irishman, carrying his basket on his back. "You dirty lying son of a bitch!" screamed the farmer "You had sex with my daughter last night!" "Now tell me what you picked for breakfast."
The Irishman heaved his basket onto the floor with a thud.
They both looked down at its contents.
"I picked a pumpkin sir."
- That man's name, Goatse.
  
  I was thinking more like a 1Guy1Jar type of thing, but with a pumpkin. At least it won't shatter into glass shards this time!
  (I can still clearly hear the sound of the glass after all these years...)
- The version I know is that they will only live if they can stick the fruit/vegetable in their ass without making a sound, and they were shot because they couldn’t stop giggling because they saw the third guy carrying
  <whatever large produce>
  .
  
  Man that is dark!

Last year I placed two dozen or so pumpkins around my property and got up on the roof and started shootin with my AR until the neighbor called, claiming some maniac was on my roof shootin a gun so I went inside cuz that sounded pretty spooky smh can’t have nothin nice no more

If you know someone with chickens, give your pumpkins to them. The chickens love to eat the insides all the way to the edge of the rind. It is also supposed to be a natural dewormer.
- Farm period. Cows/goats/horses/pigs all love pumpkin. Plus when they crap out the seeds, you're going to find a bunch of pumpkins in the fields
- I didn't know this ..... Good tip. My retired hen is going to eat well tomorrow
- I came here to say this! My chickens love pumpkins. If you know anyone who has goats they will demolish then. Aaaand You can also cube them or puree them and add them to dog food. With an appropriate ratio of animal protein.
  For cat food you can boil and blend some chicken with a little bit of pumpkin and salt by weight. It comes out like a pate' and my cat loves it. Vet aproved if you stick with the correct ratios.
  If you have dogs that like to chew and shred you can cut a hole in one to get it started and let them have at it outside.
  I also highly reccomend calabaza en tacha as a dessert. Shit is sooo fucking good and really simple to make.
  I used to grow pumpkins, but this time of year so many are being thrown out at stores that i just dive them now.

complain about throwing a billion pumpkins into landfill
Order a billion tonnes of plastic shite off Temu which then breaks, and throw it into landfill
Fucking keep chucking the pumpkins, guys
- At least the pumpkins are compostable.
- It's not like it's one or the other. We need to improve in both of those areas.

Toasted pumpkin seeds:
Using running water seperate seeds from pumpkin guts. Soak them in salt water while you carve. Preheat and bake at 220C for 15-20 mins. Eat them whole.
- Insert them whole.
  
  Insert them. Hole.
- I had an elementary school teacher who would ask all of us to save the seeds when making jack o lanterns and give it to her. She’d then make a ton of roasted pumpkin seeds and share it with us and some kids from other classes who brought seeds.
  They are pretty good. Highly recommend.
- Or rather than soak them, you can manually separate them, oil and salt them, then cook them on a lower setting until they start to go golden brown.

I bet the inside of a pumpkin feels like... really really good.
- Stop
  
  wait a minute
  
  Collaborate
  
  That's what the pumpkin told them, too!
- I hear coconut is a real treat
- Mmmm... there's nothing quite like warm, pumpkin pie
- Look, I'm just saying I've seen two videos of people doing it for the meme.
- Not as good as a warm apple pie.

Well that escalated quickly

I mean you could start by composting and not throwing into a landfill… many cities accept with leaf collection

I let the squirrels have at it, even giving them a hole to get the seeds. Then when it starts rotting into the compost can. I gotta have that pumpkin spice dirt.
- I'm commenting just because I think some people get this mixed up. Pumpkin spice has nothing to do with pumpkin. It's the spices you'd put in pumpkin pie, without the pumpkin pie.
  I'm not a fan of pumpkin spice flavored stuff, but I'm happy it seems lately a lot more if it has become pumpkin flavor instead.

Toss them in the woods, deer fuckin love pumpkin

One of these things is ~~not like~~ more appealing than the others
- The plantar fasciitis?

Chickens do like to eat pumpkin. I always get 5-6 pumpkins and after they are done as decoration, they're fed to the chickens. Not at all wasted.
- Chickens are also infinitely easier to shove entirely into your ass. I'm stealing this!
  
  ....
  WTF did I just read?
  
  Their head is, at least. The clawed feet can get rather... "scratchy" though

Planter doesn't work very well, they shrivel and rot within a few weeks.
- maybe some people use similar-looking pumpkins with way more woody flesh?
- The image says "plantar" though which has something to do with the foot like a plantar wart.

Time to ties some mini gourds into an anal bead 😔

At a medium pace.

Wait what? US population is 345 millions. How do you even celebrate Halloween that requires three pumpkins per person? Plenty of people don’t even have a porch.
- Pumpkins Georg, who lives in spooky bog & disposes of over 15 million pumpkins every day, is an outlier and should not have been counted.
- Have your read the bottom right corner?

How can I expand it to that size?
- Expand the pumpkin to the size of your ...?
  
  I meant expanding my anus to fit a pumpkin in, but OK...

Imagine if we just didn't grow them in the first place since clearly people don't want to eat them anyway...

It's disgraceful that we grow food to deliberately throw away.
- Eh it's better than making plastic shite to deliberately throw away
  
  Two things can be bad.
  I hate the "this thing is worse so let's not talk about that" mentality, as if you've never held two opinions at the same time.
  
  No, we shouldn't be doing that either.
- beats straw, which is fully inedible
- very elaborate means of throwing them away
- In the times of yore a small group of people tossed some tea into a harbour and set about a revolution.
  Today, we must put an end to the tyranny. The quickening pace and further encroachment upon our livelihoods demands pumpkin spice be put to waste.
  The future depends on it.

Trans girls never waste pumpkins 😤

tsk white people amiright smh head pumpkins don't have a flared base
- they do if you take it by the stem
  
  that's not satisfying at all tho

I'm not an expert but I'm pretty sure the pumpkins you carve are not the same pumpkins you eat. You can roast the seeds, sure, but the inside will probably taste like dirt
- They're the same, I make pumpkin pie out of them. It's so much better than from a can too.
- It can be. Lots of people do eat whats inside pumpkins that they carve. pies, curries, etc. I feel like in terms of waste is one of the much lesser wasteful things people are doing and it often makes good feed and compost
- My dog likes it. :) I give her the rest of the innards.