(i ripped this off wikipedia real fast so sorry if it's lib)
In October 1776, the Public Universal Friend contracted an epidemic disease and was bedridden and near death with a high fever. Their family summoned a doctor from Attleboro, six miles away, and neighbors kept up a death-watch at night. The fever broke after several days. The Friend later reported that [deadname redacted] had died, receiving revelations from God through two archangels who proclaimed there was "Room, Room, Room, in the many Mansions of eternal glory for Thee and for everyone". The Friend further said that [deadname redacted]'s soul had ascended to heaven and the body had been reanimated with a new spirit charged by God with preaching his word, that of the "Publick Universal Friend", describing that name in the words of Isaiah 62:2 as "a new name which the mouth of the Lord hath named".
From that time on, the Friend refused to answer to their deadname, ignoring or chastising those who insisted on using it. When visitors asked if it was the name of the person they were addressing, the Friend simply quoted Luke 23:3 ("thou sayest it"). Identifying as neither male nor female, the Friend asked not to be referred to with gendered pronouns. Followers respected these wishes; they referred only to "the Public Universal Friend" or short forms such as "the Friend" or "P.U.F.", and many avoided gender-specific pronouns even in private diaries. When someone asked if the Friend was male or female, the preacher replied "I am that I am", saying the same thing to a man who criticized the Friend's manner of dress (adding, in the latter case, "there is nothing indecent or improper in my dress or appearance; I am not accountable to mortals").
editorial note: I think this is a very cool story and I really love hearing it. We've been around forever and we've been doing variations of this forever. It's really beautiful
As a reminder, be sure to properly give content warnings and put sensitive subjects behind proper spoiler tags. It's for the mental health of not just your comrades, but yourself as well.
Here is a screenshot of where to find the spoiler button.
I need like a week in a nice cabin in the woods to myself miles away from other people with a big warm comfortable bed to hibernate in and try to make up for months of a sleep deficit but that's completely unrealistic
I have a whole thing about gender shit and family shit to vent but now I'm gonna attempt to sleep and kick my own brain's ass if it's uncooperative in doing that because I'm so fucking exhausted that I'm seeing shit in the corner of my vision that isn't there
hormone updates from ten years in, also dysphoria?
I have little tiny black hairs growing on the bottom third of my upper arms now. I do not know how to feel about this, has 12.5mg cyproterone acetate betrayed me? Should I start scarfing 50mg again to try to defeat this probably very natural part of aging???
Beautiful goblin says it's just soft and downy and part of getting older but like, I am comfortable with the body hair I have now. I do not really want more...
I’m scared no matter how much HRT changes me, how much weight I lose, how good I get at fashion or makeup or hair care…BDD will forever have me only seeing a guy in the mirror.
ugh there's so many things i could vent about with my health and the stressful situation it's put me in, but one thing is that it has once again pushed hrt down the road for me. i'm too busy dealing with my chronic fatigue crash and its ensuing consequences to pursue hrt rn and i'm just thinking about it rn and i'm so, so frustrated.
venting anxieties about sibiling's potential dysphoria
To set some background, my sibiling came out as non-binary a couple of years ago. They were 8 at the time. To this day, that is still how they feel. However, things have been changing for them recently, and while I've had thougts before, I've become increasingly concerned since I started my own transition. I think that they're feeling dysphoria, and I'm going to try having a serious conversation with them about how they feel towards growing up on T. They've already told me they're afraid of, and don't like looking in mirrors, and they still mostly look like a kid. They have started growing more body hair, and a small amount of facial hair, and I think that may be getting to them. They've told me they don't want that. I'm sorry I'm rambling, but I'm worried they're going to go through a puberty they don't want to go through, and they're not going to realize they can so something about it until they're older (like me).
I've brought up puberty blockers with my parents, but despite how good they are with most things, they seem to be against doing that. I intend to bring up HRT with my sibiling, but considering they might not know what they want for themselves, I don't want to seem pushy, nor do I want to get them on something they won't like.
Sorry, but I really had to vent. I don't even know how this relates to any of you, or myself, at all, but I needed to voice my concerns to somebody without getting into an argument about someone else's body.
Wore a skirt in front of my mother in law for the first time today and I could see her see it and then pointedly not acknowledge it. Why is this the most common reaction that I get? It’s maddening
My sister stole my eyeliner and I have no idea where she put it
She was like "Oh, I borrowed your eyeliner today, look at how good it is!" and I was like "that's good" while thinking to myself that she took it from me and used it before I got the chance to. At least I know it's good eyeliner
I don't know why this is the case, but I hate how hard calling myself a woman is. Maybe with time/transition progress it will be more natural feeling? I definitely want to be, so I guess I am, idk it still feels wrong.
Yesterday I was photographing a self bondage set in a small grove between some trees, a sort of lost in the woods thing wearing the green dress from Howl's moving castle and a pair of blue wrens landed on the branch next to my head and hung out there for a few moments, I didn't manage to get the picture with them because I was too surprised but I'm a motherfucking Disney princess.
There is so much more to this Fire Emblem rom hack than I thought, and I have to reset my run because I misunderstood how supports work and I've forsaken romance for a lot of the characters
I'll definitely have a mega post for when the time comes, there's a lot to this hack and it might just be peak gaming
I was looking at my shadow today, and it looked like I was wearing an awesome coat with a long back piece flapping in the wind, along with my jeans. Yeah, in reality it's just a sweatshirt thing that happens to have a small portion that hangs out in the back, and it does it in the front too. Now I really want a coat like that...
Lend me gay energy to take care of myself instead of just burning myself out dealing with external problems
I feel like I'm trying so hard to improve myself and do so much for other people to just keep my dysfunctional family afloat and it's never enough and I never feel appreciated for it
It's like no matter what I do and how hard I try to get my shit together, I'm always gonna be treated like a dumb gremlin baby by my family even as they increasingly become incompetent geezers that need my help with simple shit that they're too lazy to do for themselves
It feels like I'm carrying them around in the Flintstones car and if I quit lifting it up and kicking my legs to keep it moving, the wheels are gonna fall off and that's gonna be all my fault according to them and I'll never hear the end of it.
Crawl into bed at 2am, a reasonable hour! Suddenly connect that people I was helping pay for medical appointments last year have recently bought an apartment. At least I have this stale popcorn.
i blow dried my hair today for the first time in a while and it turns out that it makes my hair very different (normally curly hair became kinda straight?), huh...
I like Earl Grey lately for the afternoon for a little caffeine boost (with a bit of oat milk and maple syrup), but I'll also drink sencha or genmaicha.
At night I like camomille, or sleepytime, or Bengal spice, whatever Partner is making.
Since I stopped Spiro we've accidentally ended up with a huge bag of peppermint tea and I'm trying to like it again, because Spiro was gross but I used to like peppermint.
Transwoman frm Hunan beat up a gay man from Hong Kong in Changsha. She said because he called Changsha city poor and ugly. She called him short. He threw food in her face. She proceed to beat him to the ground
The new vitamin c serum I ordered finally came in yesterday! nice and light, my face looks nice, so hopefully no issues because this is a decent bit cheaper than the serum I was using previously
does anyone have any trans lit recs? i just read Tell Me I’m Worthless and it destroyed me. i’ve already read Nevada, Detransition Baby, Little Fish, and Wild Geese
who are you snalking to right now? who is it you think you snee? do you know how much i make in a snear? i mean, even if i snold you, you wouldn't believe it. do you know what would happen if i snuddenly snecided to snop going into work? a business big enough that it could be listed on the snasdaq goes snelly up. snissapears! it sneases to exist without me. no, you clearly don't know who you're snalking to, so let me clue you in. i am not in danger, snyler. i am the danger. a snuy opens his door and gets snot, and you snink that of me? no. i am the one who snocks!
getting back in to weird paranormal shit. ghosts, aliens, weird magic stuff all that jazz. and my god none of these people have even just a modicum of critical thought, skepticism about extraordinary claims, or ability to question their own ideas. I want paranormal shit to be real, because it'd be cool and make the world way more interesting, and I know in my heart of hearts I want to believe which is why any time I find myself being swayed I'm like woah ok we gotta touch base here and look critically at this shit. if you want it to be real, you need to be 1000% more skeptical, because your brain is trying to get you to do a dumbass cognative dissonance and look past actual rigorous critical analysis.
why are there so few reasonable 'idk bro, could be somethin, but we'd neeed more evidence. as of right now, this is merely a weird thing that more than likely is nothing' paranormal investigators!
Do you guys think Egoraptor is an egg?
I remember it being a popular theory years ago and feeling like they would come out any moment.
But nothing ever came of it, so now I’m unsure.
Went to a queer meetup thing and it was so nice not having to talk to cishets for once. Main issue is I still have so much anxiety and after wards I just kept thinking of how akward I was
Sometimes I feel slightly compelled to watch Myra Breckinridge. Deranged obviously, but so so funny a concept. I forget where I read this like, essay or narration talking about how Myra is this idol of an evil lady who destroys men's asses and their manhood, was that in Fucking Trans Women or something? It kind of rules.
I haven't complained about it in a while, but voice dysphoria continues to be terrible. Want to come out to a friend or two, but the thought of using my voice, egh. Obviously the actual coming out can be over text, but after that I can't explain it. I hate pretending to be a boy, but saying I'm a girl and sounding like this...
Voice is just disgusting and horrible. All wrong. I don't have any idea how I'd want to sound either, if I could pick.
I know it won't get better without voice training, I know I need to, I know I should, all that. I'm not trying right now, I just can't. I know nothing will get better until I do. not worth continuing this and typing out all my self hatred.
I've said this before, but I'm thinking about it again and not like I can tell anyone irl
I remember not liking my voice changing during puberty. Thought that was normal and I'd like it eventually. Clearly I was wrong, and tbh I wonder if I'll ever like my voice again. Current trajectory isn't looking good. How sad. Just ruined by T.
fwiw yesterday was quite good for me, very calm. A nice break from some of my usual struggles.
As a little folkie guitarist, lemme just say that one of the only good things to come out of is their beautiful tradition of folk music.
Currently learning one of my favorite guitar medleys. It’s a really fun challenge. I love the sound of an acoustic guitar played well in alternate tunings. https://youtu.be/rSD9qg9biC4
I've had enough time to think and process, so I'm writing a message to my past therapist to explain why I think she was exploitive of my trauma and acted with her own agenda instead of validating what I was feeling
It's so hard to write a message like this. I feel like everything needs to be airtight and my feelings need to be absolutely irrefutable, with as little emotion as possible.
Tbh I've wondered if this was just self-indulgent and ultimately achieves nothing other than potentially causing her to rescind her surgery letter. I think I'm willing to take that risk.
After the majority of 2023 dealing with (cw: mistreatment from health professional)
Being told not to talk or think about phallo for an unspecified period of time (until she felt I really lived with a vagina)
Using my short term identity/dissociative issues against me (that came from trauma and not being believed by people around me)
Not even writing down past conversations about doubts leading up to surgery
Dangling ending our working together whenever I pushed too much for phallo and started to get frustrated that I wasn't allowed to talk about it
I don't want to spend another day worried about the consequences of not making someone happy. I can get another letter if it comes down to it. My current therapist finally brought that up last week and supported me in my decision, so that's good. I'm not sure what I'm hoping to get out of sending this message other than being heard, though maybe that's all I need.
bruv, why is the zoo so expensive? like my wife and I are gonna go on the weekend, and it's £27 a person. I know they spend a lot of that money on conservation efforts, and it's not exactly cheap to look after all those animals. but ~60 quid for 2 people to go is not cheap! especially as with that kind of a day out you factor in transport costs, food and drink, ect. I just wanna go say hi to the penguins fam
i'm completely dead and still in shock i think. we spent the entire day bailing water out of our flooding house. this rain was like an order of magnitude worse than anything i've ever seen. the landscape has changed, so much soil eroded. not to mention the new person who is just incredibly toxic.
just remembered this time when I was 14, when my English teacher spent an entire lesson, out of nowhere, telling us all her new age spiritual beliefs like indigo children, and higher spiritual states and shit. I loved it, because I didn't have to do shit for an hour
so we got another person here like a week ago & it's been acting like a fucking dickhead the entire time. doesn't respect boundaries, emotionally manipulative, constant aggressive behaviour like throwing & breaking shit. last night it was suggesting it was gonna kill itself & like wtf is anybody gonna say to that?obviously this isn't v compatible with this lifestyle. the kicker is tho, the idiot actually did od! didn't succeed & is now acting like nothing happened. i'm literally so furious i circled around into this zen kinda mode. like jfc, this is how you go about your long awaited chance of actually living your life? i fucking swear, i'm gonna drag its sorry ass all the way to the nearest town if that's what it takes.
i don't think there exists an emoji potent enough to express how i feel.
What are your hair strats? My hair isn't super long, but reaches down a bit past my neck in the back, and is straight. I'm looking for ways to have more fem hair on days that I want to, but be able to kind of turn it off on days that I don't. I want to talk to a stylist, but I don't want to go in completely blind
i wish i lived in anything approaching a civilized society where it would be acceptable to take off at least a couple of years to work on healing trauma rather than having to somehow juggle that with the stress of every day life under capitalism with a brain that has a horrifically low tolerance for stress
driving home behind a fire engine with flashing lights is scary ngl. instantly my brain is convinced i left the oven on and my house is burning down (i did not and it was not)
It’s pretty wild looking back at older pop culture to see Mae West and Raquel Welch—two sex symbols of their time—being the subject of heavy transvestigstions. Raquel Welch even transvestigsted Mae West in her later years.
Just goes to show that you can even have the ideal woman’s figure and people will still somehow accuse you of not being cis.
Thomas Blounts dictionary of 1656 lists the word tranfeminate. Though apparently it meant then what we'd call transmasc. Or transgender in general Wild.
I discuss transphobia/terfs a lil, nothin specific tho
I was rolling this fucking Shiela Jeffreys (deeply unserious woman) quote around in my head, the one about men and histories of transgression and whatever. The easy answer is that cis men beinv more privileged to do transgressive anything stops when... you stop being a cis man, because it's societally constructed. Duh.Real brainworm consumers know.
The thing I finally hit on though, is that I don't think there's literally a single terf argument or "theory" that cannot be defeated by realising "these fuckin' losers, their entire thing hinges on taking assigned gender as sacred and absolute and true. Gender assignment was literally made up by people based on "common traits" they observed thousands of years ago, it's demonstrably insufficient to describe humans, and yet these dweebs want to base their discrimination on it? They're literally licking the boot that presses on their throats."
Felt kinda good independently using the theory I've absorbed to bust up goofy terf screeds. 3am I-skipped-my-gabapentin thoughts :3
Idk if I'll fully drop he/him or reverse it to secondary yet but feeling out they/them is good. Man been feeling too heavy while guy is light. I can't fully explain it yet need to sleep on it and ponder
sometimes this site is exhausting tbh. why is it that people here love armchair moralizing about other peoples’ decisions that don’t affect them (this is about the “eating slop” thread but i see it elsewhere too) without maybe considering that disabled people exist under capitalism too. i almost want to report that thread for ableism tbh.
Day whatever of being a moody irritable asshole. I dislike this because I'm not really able to talk to people like this, I have been ignoring matrix (hello) all day as a result. Just being a shitty asshole on websites instead :)
lil' stinker found a cardboard box in my closet to hide in and then fell asleep and couldn't hear me looking for him everywhere thinking that he got out somehow and ran away
Listening to a guy rattle off paragraphs about his favourite slop, nodding along and agreeing, and then right when he's done, dismissing the entire thing because the slop is misogynistic as fuck
The stupid "buzzkill feminist" thing was actually invented for me.
to backup my disability application my GP gave me a bunch of old correspondence between the psych hospital I was inpatient at for a while and him. some highlights:
medical transphobia
my old head doctor from the hospital, now retired, repeatedly misgenders me in a letter from last year when we had already been working together for a year or so. fuck doctors!
my intake overview refers to me as "a female transgender". this one was just funny to me lol, very old school. obviously it is transphobic but it gave me a laugh. anyway just wild having hard personal evidence of the medical field being decades behind when it comes to dealing with us... I've thankfully got private option too, I'd say it's even worse here if you have to go public.
When you're watching a random early 2000s action movie that's on TV, and out of nowhere...
Transphobia, chaser nonsense
two characters talk about watching porn, with one them saying he's getting tired of watching women on women action, to which the other responds that maybe he should try (insert porn slur popular with chasers) porn.
I'm trying to learn German but whenever i check a German news site, the entire front page is bombarded with "terror-group Hamas attacks peaceful Israeli citizens."
Initial consult for my therapist went well! We scheduled a follow-up, and I am looking forward to it!
I also got a bra that fits. The cup is a bit big, but I have some sort of mastia due to my weight so I should be able to fill it out with some inserts. Idk how things are going to go as I lose weight/start HRT, but it's affirming for now. With that, I am working on assembling another outfit. I want to try something goth/punk. I will try to figure out some normal femme clothes eventually, but if it's in private for now then I might as well have fun as a baby trans. I also want to go to some metal shows again and it would be nice to not seem like a square.
Got an incredibly gay lil' idea for a Halloween costume that might be cute but I don't have any event to go wear it to and I'm agoraphobic and like all Halloween parties involve booze for adults and I'm holding on to the metaphorical wagon for dear life
I'm a bit embarrassed to ask this, but is wikipedia correct about Leslie Feinberg's pronouns? So, for example, if I were to be discussing hir among an audience of non-trans people, I should use she/her?
i aced my blood test! 3 months into hrt and my trough levels are 260 pg/mL for E2 and 30 ng/dL for T! i can def afford to down titrate, my T might be too low at my peak since it’s already rlly low at the trough. but i feel good! diy is so easy, who needs a doctor?
I watched Beyond the Black Rainbow the other day, it was a good spooky slow burn horror movie. The psychic cinematographic effects were neat. The soundtrack was cool, reminded me of Carpenters movies - evil pulsing synthwave. It wasn't like a heart stopping scare ya Halloween style flick but I enjoyed it.
Also found out it was a Canadian production and a mini budget one! Only ~$1 million.
My little sister fretted about turning 18, she thought she was gonna be too old. She wanted to look like a teenager forever, which... ugh I know she just was but personally when I was that age it was a relief to finally be an adult and get out from being told what to do all the time
Reminded me of the young twinks lamenting their twink death at 19 lol
New trans mega! Last night I was at a restaurant and I sit down and in the corner of my eye I see this girl. I look over and it's fucking ME!!! I was sitting near a mirror!!!!! I then sat there admiring my hair for helping the corner of my eye to gender me correctly
i hesitate to call any of his other movies shit after vampires like sure prince of darkness puts me to sleep but at least the concept is kinda cool. halloween is honestly high art in comparison. even his weaker films tend to have something to enjoy but vampires is where the macho bs truly took over. it cannot be overstated just how aggressively awful it is. like just thinking about the fact that i ever gave it another chance makes my blood boil
anyway yeah i'm familiar with most of his work but the thing & they live are the only ones i ever feel like revisiting anymore.
Chose to dress as a character in a show I hadn't really watched and knew little about. Watches show and finds out the character is always referred to using female-coded language by other characters and get slight vicarious euphoria. But also I get slightly annoyed when the character tells others he's a guy on the rare occasions that he does.
Anyone else read the light novel series The Mimosa Confessions? I just finished the first volume and I'm curious to hear others' thoughts.
spoilers for volume 1
I found it compelling, but a really difficult read. The onslaught of transphobia levied at Ushio after she comes out felt like an attack on me. I'm one of the people who answered "maybe" in the recent survey, but a big part of that is plain fear of how I would be treated if I tried to live a life outside of my assigned gender. Seeing my imagined trials played out in black and white was really visceral...I actually had to put the book down halfway through and take a break for about a week before I felt ready to continue.
It does feel a little weird experiencing Ushio's transition from a third-party perspective, but I guess that's a novelty compared to most of what I've read. I'm hoping that after the maelstrom of the first novel there's a bit more joy to be found in Ushio's life, because living as your authentic self should be about finding authentic happiness as well.