4mo ago

Today in the News - Pearls Before Swine

18 comments

I would be mad that everyone ELSE got a balloon and not me.
Then I'd be mad that I'm 41, and mad about a balloon.
Then I'd be mad at realizing I probably have anger management issues.
- Reminds me of this one:
  
  Too real
  
  That tracks.
  
  Get out of my head!
  
  I don't have to ask. I just assume whoever I'm talking to hates me.
- You sound like you're less Pig and more Rat.
  
  I mean.......yes? That does seem like a reasonable solution to a non-problem. The real problem is the group of people who think they have a need and a right to control everybody else.
  It's not a new concept. People trying to control other people is a tale as old as time. I maybe agree with the rat, but I think the solution to the problem may be the Everette True way.
  If you've never heard of Everette True, he's a comic strip character from 100 years ago.
  His comics all follow a very simple formula.
  Panel 1 Everette incures a problem or issue
  Then....
  Panel 2 Everette beats the shit out of everybody.
  Works for me! People want to ban books? Punch them! Or hit them in the head with a book! These are life lessions we need to teach our children!
- I'll cut my balloon in half and share it with you ❤️
  
  A modern day Solomon
- My daughter had to give a guy in Walmart a sticker once, cause he "looked sad."
  We saw him elsewhere in the store about 10 min later, he still had a purple stegosaurus on his forehead and didn't look sad anymore.
  I'm sorry you didn't get a balloon, let me find you a sticker...