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Just had a meltdown in the trailer park. Yelled and broke a coffee cup, splashed coffee everywhere.
Still sleeping on the porch, it's cold, my teeth have been hurting and I can't makeart or do anyrhing else I used to like. If I could off myself easily I probably would.
You said a while back you had a chat with a neighbor and feet better. Are you still talking to them?
Are you able to help clean up the trailer to make it more inhabitable? Or will they take offense to it.
It was just a small idle chat because I was out weeding at the time.
It's okay for us to clean the trailer, but we just can't throw out anything, and there's a lot of stuff.
We've got one room completely cleaned, but the other one is dark, making it hard to see. Both are almost completely without electricity. It's mainly just boxes piled up and black widows throughout. I know I need to make progress on the room before it gets truly cold, but I feel mentally stuck.
I'm so embarrssed and ashamed for losing my shit earlier. It's like I have no control when that happens. Nobody needs a lunatic living next door. I wish I could live in seclusion -_-
Living on the porch has GOT to be stressful. Please tell me you aren’t in a snowy place in the winter?
It is very stressful, especially coming from a more rural area. It doesn't get too snowy here, but it does go down below freezing in the winter months. I'll just have to get that room cleared one way or another.
Thanks for the interaction. Things are feeling less nightmarish than earlier.