This user has shown their appreciation for a joke.

This is a repost from half a year ago OP is a karma farming bot

YOUR POST HAS BEEN REMOVED

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Here, take the poor man's gold 🏅

This

Fuck spez

[deleted]

Would have upvoted but it was at 69

Thank you, kind stranger!

How the turn tables!

Ah the old reddit switcharoo!

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.

I came here to say this but boy, that escalated quickly so to the top with you! Lost it at 'This is why we can't have nice things' and then my faith in humanity was restored, my mind blown, and manly tears were shed. Well said. As a 'murican, I can confirm this gem has just won the internet and is doing it right. Just sayin', I know that feel, bro, and while that was a risky click, this post was a 9/10, would read again. I see what you did there and it feels good man. You're doing God's work, son. I laughed way harder than I should have at your list that seems legit and totally nailed it. You - I like you. You magnificent bastard; you, sir, are so brave, a gentleman and a scholar, and seeing how you are a redditor for 4 years, this checks out, so I'll allow it. I regret that I only have one upvote to give for this cool story, bro.

CTRL+F "about tree fiddy" was not disappointed.

Wait, why do I have you tagged as "NOPE NOPE NOPE"? Nice try, you monster. What did I just read? Dafuq? I read that as "YOU HAD ONE JOB". I can't fap to this. No true scotsman could see that this relevant XKCD was bad, and you should feel bad. You must be new to reddit, so I'll see your cakeday and raise you a karma train. One does not simply rustle my jimmies, not even once. This stahp gave me cancer for science, so that's enough internet for me today. 2/10, would not bang. What is this I don't even know how is this wtf? Circlejerk must be leaking. This will get buried but brace yourselves, some men want to watch the world burn right in the feels. When you see it, they'll KILL IT WITH FIRE! But this has nothing to do with atheism. Lawyer up, delete facebook, hit the gym, and SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY, said no one ever, so you wouldn't download a strawman. Damn onions, you scary like a BOSS. whoosh.

Since rule #1 is 'be attractive', I'll just leave this here: This is my [f]irst post, be gentle. I have the weirdest boner right now, so I'll be in my bunk with dat ass. Oh, you! ...now KISS!!! I know you should never stick your dick in crazy, but DM;HS.

...this kills the redditor.

OP will surely deliver. In the meantime, I'll show myself out.

Directed by M. Night Shamallama

edit: accidentally a word

I have a 14 year old device with a very obscure problem, does anyone have a solution for this?

This.

🎖️🏅🥇🥈🥉

RemindMe! 10 years

You post was automatically removed for not following the requirements listed in our wiki. Please find the wiki yourself because it is not linked anywhere. In particular, your post does not meet the following requirements:

Section 1, paragraph 3, subsection B
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And my axe!!

Locked, Y'all can't behave.

I too choose this guy's dead wife.

Divorce him

Thanks for the gold!

You have been banned from c/asklemmy

Sorry, your post was removed because your account doesn’t meet the requirements.

Your account must be at least 1 month old and have at least 10 karma.

Thanks.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

/u/repostSlothBoat

Sexy sexitors of sexxit, how do you sexily sex sex?

One summer when I was a teenager, my friends and I decided to take a road trip to the next town over. We packed up my old beat-up car and set off, eager for a day of adventure and mischief. As we cruised down the highway, windows down and music blaring, I couldn't help but feel a sense of freedom and excitement. Little did I know that our carefree jaunt would take an unexpected turn in nineteen ninety eight when the undertaker threw mankind off hell in a cell and plummeted sixteen feet through an announcers table.

You've been banned from r/Pyongyang

This just in, water is wet.

Please don't ask me how I managed to take this picture...

Now just edit your post to "Sorry this post has been removed by the creator"

I'm a leftist but I think insert fascist opinion here

I also choose this man's dead wife.

If this post has traumatised anyone you should go home and start playing Tetris. It really works. Some study said if you play Tetris after trauma it changes your neural pathways so you're less likely to get ptsd

Here's a story told entirely from my point of view, edited to make me look good. Am I the asshole?

5/7 with rice.

Test post please ignore

Here have this award. 👁️‍🗨️

Ahh, the ole reddit switcharoo

Somebody gild this!

RemindMe! 3y “reply to this thread”.

[removed]

... And my axe!

Edit: I said the funny line, updoots to the just please

3/10.

7/10 with rice.

Not all heroes wear capes.

Everyone should have responded in Spanish.

Chuck Testa!!!

This site is amazing. It needs a hug from reddit. https://www.smallsitethatwillcrashfromtheunexpectedattention.com/

[deleted]

Red flags!

Not me but...

Look, I think it’s important to state here that while you can often offer prompts to strangers with no ill effect, 7% of strangers are DEATHLY ALLERGIC to prompts. I know it’s fun to give your strangers prompts sometimes, but I urge you all NOT to give prompts to strangers or you run the very real risk of harming them seriously.

Signed, A strangerologist

Poop knife

We appreciate the candid feedback, and the passion the community has put forth around the current topics here on Reddit, our forums and across numerous social media outlets. Our team will continue to make changes and monitor community feedback and update everyone as soon as and as often as we can.

And that reddit post's name? Upbert Dootstein

I'm not racist but...

Cat.

Mom's spaghetti

Hey it's me your brother!

repost

[This user has been banned by an activist mod and their inbox blown up by racists and piss drinkers]

Haha pun thread moo yourself

@RepostBot

I went to post a comment on this Reddit thread but then my old man saw what I was doing and beat me with jumper cables.

I am going to get downvoted for this, but (community popular opinion) eric-andre

General Kenobi!

open up this is the CIA

[removed]

When does the narwhal bacon?

Bring back /r/place

lol

Username checks out

https://lemmy.ml/post/20294040 done

:flag-liberia: :flag-liberia: Trump 2024 :flag-liberia: :flag-liberia:

i can't use reddit.

make an account. use a gmail address. verify with phone number.
shadow banned immediately, before making any post or comment. appealing does nothing.

repeat as many times as i want.

this post doesn't apply to me at all but here's a paragraph about some third party bullshit that's tangentially related at best, but really doesn't meet the spirit of the post

Koalas are fucking horrible animals. They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any mammal, additionally - their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for neurons. If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the koala will not recognise it as food. They are too thick to adapt their feeding behaviour to cope with change. In a room full of potential food, they can literally starve to death. This is not the token of an animal that is winning at life. Speaking of stupidity and food, one of the likely reasons for their primitive brains is the fact that additionally to being poisonous, eucalyptus leaves (the only thing they eat) have almost no nutritional value. They can't afford the extra energy to think, they sleep more than 80% of their fucking lives. When they are awake all they do is eat, shit and occasionally scream like fucking satan. Because eucalyptus leaves hold such little nutritional value, koalas have to ferment the leaves in their guts for days on end. Unlike their brains, they have the largest hind gut to body ratio of any mammal. Many herbivorous mammals have adaptations to cope with harsh plant life taking its toll on their teeth, rodents for instance have teeth that never stop growing, some animals only have teeth on their lower jaw, grinding plant matter on bony plates in the tops of their mouths, others have enlarged molars that distribute the wear and break down plant matter more efficiently... Koalas are no exception, when their teeth erode down to nothing, they resolve the situation by starving to death, because they're fucking terrible animals. Being mammals, koalas raise their joeys on milk (admittedly, one of the lowest milk yields to body ratio... There's a trend here). When the young joey needs to transition from rich, nourishing substances like milk, to eucalyptus (a plant that seems to be making it abundantly clear that it doesn't want to be eaten), it finds it does not have the necessary gut flora to digest the leaves. To remedy this, the young joey begins nuzzling its mother's anus until she leaks a little diarrhoea (actually fecal pap, slightly less digested), which he then proceeds to slurp on. This partially digested plant matter gives him just what he needs to start developing his digestive system. Of course, he may not even have needed to bother nuzzling his mother. She may have been suffering from incontinence. Why? Because koalas are riddled with chlamydia. In some areas the infection rate is 80% or higher. This statistic isn't helped by the fact that one of the few other activities koalas will spend their precious energy on is rape. Despite being seasonal breeders, males seem to either not know or care, and will simply overpower a female regardless of whether she is ovulating. If she fights back, he may drag them both out of the tree, which brings us full circle back to the brain: Koalas have a higher than average quantity of cerebrospinal fluid in their brains. This is to protect their brains from injury... should they fall from a tree. An animal so thick it has its own little built in special ed helmet. I fucking hate them.

Tldr; Koalas are stupid, leaky, STI riddled sex offenders. But, hey. They look cute. If you ignore the terrifying snake eyes and terrifying feet.

STFU regard

F

I once tried to make a post look like a reddit thread, just like back in nineteen ninety eight when the undertaker threw mankind off hell in a cell and plummeted sixteen feet through an announcers table.

Google en passant

something something broken arms

Now is when I post a comment the mods don't like, get harassed by the mods, and reply to them just asking they stop messaging me and get a permanent ban from reddit for harassment.

Brush my teeth.

Floss.

Masturbate.

7/10

10/10 with rice.

I also ______

Play stupid games…

r/lostredditors

This is what mine looks like (since I blocked the whole domain in my hosts file):

Unable to connect

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The site could be temporarily unavailable or too busy. Try again in a few moments.
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