6mo ago

What would you do/how screwed would you be if you woke up in the last game you played?

The Last game I played was Splatoon 3. It really depends on a few things, Am I an Inkling/Octoling? Do I speak the language? Where am I? In Splatoon lore all humans died in mass floods, so if I was still human I would probably be studied. Also, if I'm in the middle of the ocean I would be screwed either way. Assuming that I am in a major city or at least near civilization, and I am an Inkling/Octoling, and I speak the language, I would be fine. As for what I would do, I would sign up to work at Grizco, and once I have enough money buy a gun and participate in turf wars to gain money, eventually buying an appartment.

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Stardew Valley.
You know what? I’m okay with this. Sign me up, I accept.
- Samsies and samsies. Mortgage free farm in a quiet town with a evil corporation to screw over? Hell yeah.
- Be careful in the mine
- I'm playing fields of mistria which is basically the same so yeah I'm very okay with this

Minecraft Survival? Well, I wasn't playing on hardcore, so I guess I'd be alright.
Or, hmm, on my phone, Pikmin Bloom. A vast army of adorable minions to accompany me as we wander around Chicago in search of public art; not so bad.

Happily married, with a brand new baby, living in a large house, on a well established farm, with financial security and steady income, plus a small fortune in extremely valuable wine aging in the basement, near a friendly town with lots of festivities, where no matter how badly I screw up someone will find me and bail me out so that I can get home or see a doctor.
- Similarly, my egg farm has just hatched it's 10 billionth chicken that lays dark matter eggs whilst living in their own micro universe, my bank account is sitting somewhere in the vicinity of 80+ zeroes after the number, and I regularly send ships to space to hunt for artifacts.
  I suppose I get to shoot down rogue drones while relaxing in an egg based utopia. I might have to deal with time cops at some point for using spliced timelines to make sure each egg is the highest possible quality, across all timelines that chicken exists in.

Fallout London. It'd be an intense half an hour trying to open inaccessible doors before I'd crash back to safety.
- 😄

Euro Truck Simulator 2, so all things considered, pretty chill
- Snowrunner, so yeah, same. Maybe I'd be lonely after a while.
- Same here, I think I would enjoy it.

Sometimes you roll the Katamari, and sometimes the Katamari rolls you.

No Man's Sky. Pretty sweet deal, I think.
I'd just start mining random stuff to put together to make better mining gear to mine better and more stuff.
Then just get on my dinghy and explore the 'verse while looking out for a better dinghy. Maybe plop down a few bases on nice planets, rinse and repeat.
- Same here! Infinite universe to explore, I'd find a cool planet to rip around in exocraft, build a nice cliffside base, chill in a space station if things get dangerous, would be a sick time!

Baldur's Gate 3, I probably would be praising The Absolute.
- Meanwhile me attempting the late game swoop on Mystra because Gale somehow managed to fuck up being the personal booty calls of one of the most powerful gods of the realm

Elden Ring, none of that is going well

Valheim. My homestead is beautiful and densely forested. I'm well equipped and have provisions for days. I'm good.

I would be dead within 7 days. Quite apt as the game is 7 days to die.

Helldivers 2
- I think you may have the fastest death in this thread. Average lifespan is what a couple minutes after launch tops?
  
  That would have been an interesting statistic...
  https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=k5RqahhwTw8&list=PL0QrZvg7QIgpgVfKp7o0fFLREgrOBvasd&index=8&pp=iAQB

City of Heroes (20 year old game). As an NPC, I would be screwed, as a player character, it would be pretty sweet at for the first few days before the lack meaningful interactions and the constant "work" started to get to me.
- The game that almost ruined my marriage, lol.
  Those 8 hour task force runs aren't going to run themselves, honey!!
- Wow. Haven't played that since college.

I'd be a Starfleet Fleet Admiral in 2410, with a bunch of very OP starships under my command, so that would be pretty damn sweet!
- You have to realize that sto with its "to boldly kill, once again, what too many have killed before" is actually the mirror universe. So it would be only time until someone with more ships will take care of you.
  Maybe not so sweet after all...

Deep Rock Galactic. It would be terrifying, but with some upsides.
"It ain't a gun unless it weighs at least one hundred pounds!"
- Did I hear a rock and stone?
  At least you'll always have supportive comrades!

Subnautica - I would be dead in minutes since I can't actually swim all that well in real life.
- Drowning is probably one of the least worst things that can happen to you in Subnautica.

Modded Minecraft. It's going to depend entirely on whether I can still search the various wikis.
- There are 100% Minecraft modders who would figure out how to escape using some unfathomable redstone contraption.

Ghost of Tsushima
I dont know shit about how to fight so unless I woke up as Jin with the fighting experience I'd be fucked

Kerbal Space Program. So everything might be fine, or I might hit a mountain at mach 12, or I might be stuck on Moho forever hoping Matt Lowne joins Lemmy and can send the Blunderbirds to get me.

AC Odyssey. I guess I'm Greek now
- Malaka!
- "This is exactly the same...well except for all the anal sex."
- Testikles would like to know your location

Pokemon Emerald? So long as I'm not the protag, life is generally OK. Aside from Team Aqua/Magma and the whole "causing disasters to expand the sea/land", I should be OK.

Pokemon Go. I would be running from Pokemon I guess. Not too bad as for now I do have some resources, and the map is pretty good so everything would be where it is now.

Helldivers2 vs bots on lv10... dead in seconds. pretty screwed.
- Luckily I just ran around my super destroyer to park it by the black hole, otherwise I'd be on a bug planet being launched back to my super destroyer by an impaler

Deep Rock Galactic Galaxy's Finest!
I'm a greybeard with a crack crew but they get wreckless sometimes, and mining on Hoxxes is intrinsically dangerous. We don't always make it back.

Factorio, I'd probably survive and build a bunch of stuff. Oh, and try not to get eaten.

Animal Crossing New Leaf. I'd be ecstatic.

Football Manager. I would be fired, but everything else would stay the same.

Ace Attorney (nostalgia). I'm not weird enough to be a witness, the perp, or the wrongfully accused. If I was the victim I'd obviously be screwed. If I was a defence attorney my clients would be screwed. If I was a judge everyone but me would be screwed. Payne seems to make an ok living as a prosecutor although he sucks at it, I could do that. Or I'd just be one of those weirdoes cheering in the gallery, or an unremarkable resident of Japanifornia, which would both be fine.

Bloons TD 6.
I guess I have to contribute to popping bloons... somehow??? Idk.

Helldivers 2, I am FUCKED. Unless I was on a Super Destroyer on my way to Super Earth

Majora's Mask. I'm dead in 3 days.

I'd be popping balloons like any good monkey should

Sudoku?
(I’m an old)

Phantasy Star Online? I'd be in great shape! I could essentially play that game indefinitely.
- dam, I loved that game on the Dreamcast, the colors and the music. The small room aspect was fine because dam that game was something special when it was new.

I played Noita, I'm utterly fucked no matter who or what I am
- Ooo ouch, you might beat the Helldivers 2 chap for fastest death in the thread.
  
  I played OSU, if I'm a circle I'll die even faster

Guild Wars 2. It's not so bad. Just hang out in one of the cities. Learn some magic.

I'm playing Scorn right now. Fuuuuuuuuck thaaaaaat

Metro 2033... as long as I'm underground and out of harm's way, I think I'll be able to survive

Balatro. I think I'm okay? I don't even know what that would mean.
- Welcome to our newest Joker ¯(ツ)/¯
  
  Trapped Joker: Until it is permanently removed from the game, deactivates all other jokers in the game.

Tears of the Kingdom. Not bad at all, as long as I stay in places populated by the more friendly creatures. The worst thing about being stuck there is the choice between living in Tarrey Town, Hateno, or Kakariko. I could live a pretty comfortable life growing swift carrots or fortified pumpkins.
- I'd opt for Tarrey Town because I live near a place called Tarrey Town IRL and am sentimental like that, plus getting to build my own place instead of hoping I just became link and can take his and Zelda's house in Hateno.
  
  Y'all sleeping on Lurelin Village.

Elden Ring. Welp, at least I guess i revive on death now?

Rainworld. Yeah i'm screwed.

I think living in post nuclear armageddon Nevada would fix me

Civ VI? I dunno... maybe this is it?

Pokemon, not bad could be much worse I was playing rimworld before that.

Strange Horticulture...I'm probably fine.
- Plus the lake District is like the most beautiful place in the UK so you'll have nice scenery whilst you grow weird plants.

Mini Metro.
Guess who has two thumbs and is stuck on the train all day?

Stellaris. I was getting destroyed by an empire that wanted to terminate me. So not good 😂

I was playing Rogue Trader so unless I get to take over one of the PCs I'm pretty screwed. The 40k universe is not a friendly place. Even if I take over one of the party characters I'd probably still end up dead in some awful way. My character was a psycher so that's never a good idea if you want to remain demon free.

Timberborn. Humans died out and beavers are now the dominant species. So, I guess it could be worse..

I played Outer Wilds, so I'd be pretty cozy, for about 20 minutes.
- You get those 20 minutes a lot of times though!

Warframe. Seems like there's some stability in some of the planets' different cities. I'm not far into the game, so I'm not sure what might happen.

Probably become a vegetable from the brain damage/concussions/broken spine. Rocket league.

I would be in Mario Kart... pretty sure I would look for Yoshi or Birdo at the lockers after, if you know what I mean...

Mine is Hearthstone, so my life basically just becomes Yu-Gi-Oh? I have to wander around Azeroth getting challenged by weirdos to increasingly elaborate children's card game battles?
I typically make high legend on ladder though, so I guess I'm okay with this life.

168 comments