Last two times I went for a run Biden retired and Trump got shot. Going out for another now, good luck everyone
Stay safe, I'll be back in an hour.
Edit: my knee started hurting, so I walked the last part. I'm back now and nothing seems to have happened. This either means something momentous has happened that the public is not allowed knowledge of, or that I have lost the baton of heaven (get it? Like mandate of heaven, but it's a relay race because I'm running. It's contrived, but it's the best I could think of)
Ah fuck, Susan caught a stray. This is what I get for not finishing my runs!
Edit: oh wait Susan sucked, I forgot that. I have no idea what this means then. If I had run longer, would more people have died? Only one way to figure it out I guess
My calves were getting too powerful. Had I gone another mile then Xi would have pushed the communism button. He called me to tell me this. Installing TikTok was a mistake