Have your sensory issues gotten better, worse, or stayed the same as you age?
Have your sensory issues gotten better, worse, or stayed the same as you age?
To those of you with sensory issues (I believe this is pretty common, right?) have you noticed them changing as you grow older? Have they gotten easier to handle, harder, or stayed the same? In fact, if you feel like "going there" and sharing - please feel free to even express what they feel like.
No need to share what they are, if you don't feel like it. Share what you'd like.
Mostly about the same, but I am now more aware of them and able to manage them better and, hopefully, catch myself before things get too bad.
Aww, super jam! That's really cool =)
Better, but I suspect that’s largely due to the fact that im way more economically secure now. Thus I can afford, literally, to avoid situations and sensations I can’t handle.
Aww man, I was thinking about like...splashing cash for comfy clothing and just like comfy everything. Like never having another material that ever feels to "scratchy" or too "trappy" again. Hot damn, man you just lit up my brain like a Christmas tree. Hehehe!
I know you're talking big picture, but that's where my brain went with it =P
That’s a great example of what I was talking about.
It’s also about the situations: regarding clothing, I avoid working for uptight companies that do the whole “serious business” suit and tie thing and instead work for ones where the dress code is wearing jeans and t shirt every day. But I can only do that now that I’m more economically secure and have the CV power to actually get to make that choice.
So I’m never in a situation day to day where I have to wear a stupid scratchy collared shirt. (Ever seen Falling Down? The opening scene was sooooo hard to watch cos it reminded me of that shit)
ND here, with autistic spectrum trails.
For me it's getting worse.
But my sensory issues started around puberty.Major issues. I can't work in noisy environment, like excessive talking, loud music, machine buzz.
I started using earphones when I'm outside (walking or riding a bike) or do shopping.
I hate sunny days in the summer.
Can't stand blinding car headlights at night.
Room temperature comfort, looks like the range is shrinking.Mine are also much worse and I suspect it's because I'm I'm a near constant state of burnout.
As for me...I just experienced my least favorite sensation on the face of this planet. Or at least, that's what it felt like when I experienced it. It fills me with doom, and makes me want to rip off my own skin. In fact, that's what I imagine through flashes of what I can only describe as "pain" but can also describe as a "serious case of the yucks." I know it sounds like I am downplaying this, but legitimately I feel so unbelievably awful still. But it cools off after a while. But I have noticed it has gotten worse for me as I've gotten older. Maybe because I am not so mean to myself, and just accept my experiences as valid. But it's still hard, because it's something so casual for most. And it's like finger-rippingly awful to me.
I can still acknowledge that I am okay though, and that's pretty good. Phew!
Anyone else wanna share?
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Everything my gal does is with a television on and it makes me literally sick to hear that chatter all day. She listens to it most of the time with headphones on (we got the cushiest of the cush and she actually likes it so win/win). I knew someone else who was ADHD and said they can't work without having a movie they've seen on in the background. I always think it's crazy because I can't even work with distracting music in the background, or a second monitor and my ass is ADHD too. It's too distracting, it's as if a siren is calling me from a liminal space and my brain heads to the clouds. Even with medication. I much prefer a single but sizeable (enough for me) monitor and everything super chill (I work on the floor most times).
I have always found ADHD stuff that pushes me over the edge are things that are like "flashy" and intended to draw attention. I was thinking why in that sense things might have gotten worse and I figured it's because our entire world is one giant slot-machine. So yeah, in that sense, it's absolutely awful. On the autist front the sensory stuff does distract but it "feels" way worse to me. As in, it prompts pain I guess? Is the best way to describe it. Ickies. It prompts ickies. Both are overwhelming af though. Idk how the fk I used to do clubs n shit, cause I went to a show recently and it blasted me into another universe. I still like music and what not, I just don't think I've got it on that level anymore.
My sib, who also has fun genetics goes ham-sandwich when they cross that threshold. I've snapped a time and two, but I think I am more of a "slip-out the backdoor and leave" kinda person. But either way, it's no fun and I am glad you're trying your damndest to find your happy middle.
p.s. - I know with stims autistic ones are for the feels and adhd are for the stimulation and maybe the sensory issues line up like that too? I also know stuff can show up differently between the genders, but I don't know entirely in what way because I haven't read too much into it and it's all pretty new. Either way, good luck on your travels fellow fighter =)~
I can definitely relate! I have the Predominantly Inattentive type of ADHD and sometimes wonder if there’s some overlap with autism too. I’ve only been paying attention to how I feel for a few months, so it’s interesting to see how differently ADHD affects everyone. I honestly had no idea about the differences in stims between ADHD and autism. The sensory issues and gender differences are new to me too, so I’m learning as I go. Here’s to both of us finding our way, fellow traveler in this fight =)~
I think I've mostly gotten to understand them better, and put more meaning to them.
a) Super cool, really dig that.
b) By meaning do you mean like...the source or perhaps like...how to mitigate them or just that they exist and will always exist so it's best to just accept them? If you feel like explaining, I am interested.
The older I get, the more loud noises bother me. That might be normal though? Hearing loss is pretty common among the elders in my family. 🤷🏻♂️
They've gotten worse. I became a parent, and that's stressful. and Stress makes my sensory issues worse. and Kids are a sensory nightmare.
No lie, and I mean no disrespect - but I thought the other day "Thank god I am not a parent, because I have no idea how people can hold down their own shit while trying to pretend everything is okay and taking care of at least one living, breathing thing with their own wants/needs/personalities." I feel like that would be my hell. But I know there's got to be some really wonderful trade offs that I can't see because I am on the outside. I hope you have some kind of sacred space or time to decompress from it all.
I feel no disrespect. Having become a parent, I understand why people don’t want to be one. It taught me more empathy and is why I’ve doubled down on abortion rights since becoming a parent. It’s scary, it’s super difficult, and I understand people’s decision. I can’t imagine being a single woman, alone, pregnant. And watching my ex wife struggle with birth to ultimately have an emergency C section opened my eyes to why women don’t want to go through that. They inflate a balloon in you!
I've gotten way more sensitive to clothing textures as I get older, and I don't remember having too much texture sensitivity as a kid (except for hating itchy tags). I'm also way too aware now of my clothes when I sleep, so sleeping in any kind of pajama bottoms or socks is impossible for me. That never used to be A Thing for me until a few years ago. It doesn't really impact my life very much though.
Idk how old you are, but I wanna just make assumptions (because it seems there's a large bracket of a certain age group floating around here) and say - it's it crazy to get more sensitive to clothing textures when all clothes used to be made of the most durable yet least breathable/staticly cut/outright funky (but some real!!) materials? LIke, sometimes I'll go to thrift stores and see stuff that I actually wore (not the actual clothing, but like the same shirts or jackets or whatever) from a hundred years ago and my hand will wander to the material and I will wonder how I got on so long in life wearing a paper bag and pretending it's clothing. Or itchy af sweaters. Or sweats that felt old the second you put them on. And maybe, because they were? Idk, it's weird.
But new stuff is nasty too. I am like a huntress on the prowl for solid clothes. Cause stuff will say x-material and feel like someone slid their shit-covered ass cheeks off my side. No thank you (and apologies for the visual, it's just what came to mind =_o!) I'm glad you found what works for you. I hope things level out and you just do what you gotta do whenever you go shopping =)
now in my 30's they are definitely better than back in my early 20's. used to hurt my ears when people just talked in the same room, that went away completely. couldn't touch some materials like cardboard and paper, now i can but it still irritates me a little. some things have stayed, like it hurts my skin if someone rubs me over a t-shirt but direct skin contact is fine.
I still don't understand why over the clothing is a no-thank you in most situations but direct skin - eh, come on it. I was better at ignoring that kinda stuff when I was in my 20s because I was dumb and horny. Now I am dumb, but in a dedicated relationship and better at expressing what I need to feel safe. Which is also a high-five. As in, high-five to you ***!
It's a bit hard to describe. Because I've learned to have much more awareness oh what is happening to me when I'm experiencing sensory issues. One the one hand, this has made me hyper aware of them sometimes, which makes me sometimes hyper focus on them, making them worse. But on the other hand, I've learned to actually realize what is happening and get myself away from the situation, or at least practice some coping mechanisms and to practice self compassion. A bit of a two edged sword.
I've heard a lot of the "adulting" aspects of managing things is basically always towing the line between blowing up and being okay. God that sounds awful. By that, I mean I heard it's something like - if you notice you're being triggered super hard by something figure out a way to calm down as best as you can otherwise you might lose control of yourself and you could end up pontentially harming yourself or others (and I am not saying just going around smashing stuff up but just kinda "losing control" in general). But I'm not a doctor, and I only know what I know. One really great thing my therapist said is that even planning rest can be an exhausting situation for someone who's neurodivergent. So on a whole, it let me be kinder to myself and the things I need. Not having children helps with this about ten fold. But it's always an uphill battle, and I feel like we get stuck with the short end of the stick a lot, and have to work harder than most just to exist.
Another thing I read, which might have been on here - was that it seems neurodivergent folks have their own social cues and are much better at picking up them between one another. And while I can't speak for the whole of my closest loved ones - I can say one unifying factor between all of them is that they're all "kinda different" and they all have "big hearts." And by all this I mean, it seems when you surround yourself with people who just "get you" or just want to "be your friend" (the same as if you were 10 years old or 50) they always seem to be the easiest to be around. And I never stress about anything outside of frustrating situations they might be going through together. And if I feel like shit, I don't have to hide it - I outright say "I feel like shit" and they just accept it. It's pretty tits, and it's kept me going after all these years =)!
Gl! You got this. Keep kicking ass and taking names! HYAH!
Much better, but then again, leaving my parents house and finding myself on a safe environment for the first time in my life made a lot of things better I did not expect.
This might be an experience that more autistic people have
Better - but not through age.
Since I got diagnosed late, my before-diagnosis time was a mess and I had no idea why. Since my diagnosis and me subsequently understanding what's happening I have become less likely to compromise on things that will cause meltdowns.
I also have disabled status so I can request accommodations at work, and lucky enough my team and workplace are lovely about that.
I can't tell if time made a difference for me, but I feel like I've lost patience for people telling me "don't be like that", but that's probably also due to knowing what's going on now. I keep asking them if they'd tell a quadriplegic to not be like that and just real quick get them something from the high shelf. Surprisingly efficient, although there's always people claiming you're just being dramatic. Thankfully they are a minority around me.
I feel this terribly deeply. I wanna send like e-hugs because it's crazy how bad life can be pre-diagnosis. I can't say what it's like on the other side of the fence, but I can say for sure there's some mental scars that I will probably always hold that won't swap. And maybe I don't care if it swaps so much anymore, because I know who I am and I am valid so you know - there's that.
I'm glad you're holding your own and not getting harmed (as much more than likely) anymore. Because you deserve happiness, and people are hella quick to take it from people they don't understand because they don't believe they deserve anything less than the floor.
I've been kicking around the idea of disability for the past year or so. Because I know I can get it, but I also know it's a long process. I ultimately want to marry my partner if plausible, and I think that'd drive a wedge in the works. There was a point where I was so crippled with pain that I couldn't really do anything. I am on some new experimental treatment that has helped but there's still times when my body just shuts down, and this past week was a "kind" lesson in it. If you have the time and the care (as in you do not have to do this) you mind hitting up my inbox and telling me some more about disability x gigs?
Still relatively new to Lemmy and can't figure out RN how to dm you, but I am not in the US, so most likely we are not in the same country.
I can tell you broad strokes though - I got super lucky with my therapist at that time. Sadly he's retired now :( I was super exhausted, had gotten out of hospital and then diagnosis and at the same time (since in paper I looked like an easy candidate to find work for) the unemployment agency was hounding me. I told my therapist as an off-comment "I wish I didn't have to do shit for the rest of the year."
He said that can be arranged and I thought he was joking - it was October or something. Nope, he stalled and his practice became unreachable. All I could tell the unemployment agency was that I didn't hear back and I don't know what's going on until they got frustrated and backed off. Come new year, everything went back to normal and it went fast-ish. Took maybe a year in total? I think less, maybe roughly 9 months?
I didn't realize what happened until after the fact, but he bought me the time I needed to process things at that time.
The actual experience of them? About the same. How much that impacts my life? Less than before.
Because I have greater vocabulary for describing what's wrong and have greater agency in my life to decide not to experience it I can avoid it better. I've also found that drowning some textures with others works;
Ex: melted cheese outside of the context of pizza or as a sauce is not good to me. However adding several other textures helps a lot. So getting a cheese burger when I ordered hambuger is only really a dealbreaker if it was meant to be bun, catchup, & burger. But if I get other ingredients light cheese isn't unacceptable.
Ah, yeah I get this one. Like a lot of people would shrug that off, and think you get "bonus" stuff. But it's something you can't just soldier through, because it ruins the whole experience and then some. While that's not my deal I did think about how icky it would be and it made me sad. I am glad you advocate for yourself =)
They stayed mostly the same, experience wise, but as an adult I can make more choices myself. And I have more experience about what causes issues and what I should avoid in general.
I however still have issues with loud noise, itchy clothing, bright light and too much touch. But as an adult I can just buy (or sew) the clothing I can tolerate, I can wear noise cancelling headphones and wear sunglasses and just don't touch people and pretty much nobody can force me to do otherwise.
Hey, let's talk shop. I can sew a lotta stuff when my hands a good (I hand sew because machines overwhelm me - le sigh!) but I have wanted to so, so, so badly sew some clothing for myself. But I can't ever seem to figure out what kind of fabric I want to work with. And none of the stuff I find in stores ever seems to be the right stuff to makes tops with. Maybe bottoms, not tops for sure though. So you mind passing on some of your shared-knowledge on this? Cause I am mad curious!
Also, I really like that you stated you can choose how you interact with the world. That's really sound and absolutely true. You get to have more control, and so it helps you feel safe. I wonder if we could translate this in a way that could aid younger people? I am not sure though, because kids do require structure. But perhaps not ABA levels of "do it enough times and it'll just stick" hyper-vigilance =/!
I dig your vibes though =)
To be completely fair, I picked up sewing recently as a new special interest and I'm still in the learning phase.
I prefer pure cotton (or linen or other cotton based fabrics like viscose or modal) and then the fabric you choose depends on how thick it needs to be and if it should be elastic (jersey, sweat) or not (eg. standard woven dress shirt fabric, denim, canvas,...). I buy most of my fabric online as I don't like interacting with people, but going into stores definitely has advantages in that you can touch the fabric.
I only machine sew (unless hand sewing small parts is kinda necessary). My fine motor functions are pretty bad (probably autism related), so I got a cheap standard sewing machine and a used serger from eBay.
So far I've made a hoodie, some tops/t-shirts, some underwear ( didn't come out very well tbh, had not the right fabric) and I've changed some store bought jeans and t-shirts to fit me better.
Check out freesewing if you're interested, there are lots of neurodiverse people on their discord server who can help you and the website can create sewing patterns for your sizes.
I wouldn't describe myself as ever having "sensory issues", but there's definitely things that bothered me more than most normal people. A lot of things have gotten better, but mostly just because I've learned to not care about a lot of things. Like loud noises used to bother me a bunch, but being in the city + concerts + playing loud music on the speakers at work has gotten me over that. Things like not liking socks that are too tight on my toes are solved by just being able to buy my own socks.
Yeah, you know what - you might be on to something. I haven't lived in a city in a while, esp a city I like. Cause I sure af haven't been vibing out here. So legtimately my younger days might have just been easier by being forced to assimilate. But then again, I hear that leads to health issues down the road. And guess who has those? But eh, I can't point that crap in any one direction. All things aside I am glad you're where you gotta be. Cause that's real good =)
Worse. Or maybe I starter noticing more that my headaches and ear pains were caused by it.
Aww man, are yours smells? Lights? I took a pillow outside for some sun and prayers (as in, I pray it smells better) cause it's filled with some of the stinkiest materials known to man and it was stinking up the joint and giving me a solid headahce. I hope you're not exposed to something on the regular that is miffing you up. But I did hear this thing about colored glasses. And maybe if stuff is getting too much, you could consider grabbing a pair and just looking eclectic like =) GL! May things even out or get better!
I do better with light-based over-stimulation than I did in my early 20s, but I have a lot more trouble with sounds. There's a retailer here in Japan that has its store music (loud), various TVs and other devices playing separate ads at the same time at high volume, and just people noise that leads to a cacophony that triggers my fight-or-flight. I can't go in there for long without noise-cancelling headphones. My brain I think tries to listen to everything at once and can't separate things out leading to issues; I hear them all so I can't listen to or discern any one of them (which is a more general issue I have that gets worse as I get older trying to hear people over any background noise).
Worse, but I think a big part of that has been giving myself the space to have those sensory response moments, and just like understanding myself better, being more patient with myself, stuff like that.
Being true to yourself is 10/10 the way to go even if it causes things to get worse I think. Cause then at least you can figure out what you've been hiding with masking and just unapologetically do the opposite from here on out.