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If malls continue to shut down and decay over the next twenty years, someone should turn them into retirement communities for GenX and Millennials.

Imagine apartments built into what used to be department stores, (Oh, you're JC Penny 203? I'm at Sears 106). Get those old arcades up and running. Set up meal stations at the food court. Once people actually live there, stores will start to move back in.

If I'm unable to finish my life in my own home, that doesn't sound like a terrible option.

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  • I've seen some concepts for mall-like communities based around retirement homes and elementary schools. Add a library, some shops, and other services, and you're off to a great start.

    The old-but-still-able folks can serve as crossing guards, read books to kids, play games with them, perhaps help with coaching or other tasks, etc.. The young kids benefit from the wisdom and time spent with good role models, the retirees get much-needed social interaction, structure, and purpose.

    A man can dream.

    • Ridiculous.

      That makes way too much sense.

    • Add a library

      In the US? Lol. Certainly not a public library.

      Would probably end up with like, "Sbarro™ Presents: The Public Library - an interactive replica of what a late 20th century library is thought to have looked like. Sponsored by *Nestlé Global™. Nestlé: The Good Food, Good Life Company" [yes apparently that's their actual slogan. ew]

      "On your left, you will see the Children's section. Notice the abundance of sexually explicit "homoporn". These materials were created with the specific intent of homosexualizing straight young men. This section was a hotbed for degenerates of all types. As you can see, libraries would have drag queens and trans evangelists at each corner to harass normal hardworking folks and turning their kids queer (it's on their agenda). Similarly, Satanists would lurk in the shadows beckoning toward libtard parents who would willingly give their children to them in order to be sacrificed to Moloch to be drained of their precious bodily fluids adrenochrome, and their flesh ritualistically consumed in the massive labyrinthine tunnels connecting the basements of every non-chain pizza restaurant across this nation. Luckily, this is just a replica, so no need to be scared folks. Well of this. You should still be scared of the Jews"

      Sorry I had to stop myself or I would have gone on forever lol. Got a little carried away there... For some reason your comment elicited some imagery of what a Snow Crash type world would look like if it were this current reality/timeline. Corporate owned, walled-off enclaves/exclaves, private roads, carrying a katana while delivering pizzas... Man what a book, might be time to re-read.

      Edit: If i would have continued after the part about all locally owned pizza shop basements being connected by tunnels...

      "Believe it or not, the evil doesn't stop there. I will give y'all a moment to sit down for this one... are you ready? OK. These dens of sin and debauchery were free of charge. I know, it's absolutely disgusting. To steal the money I made by myself without the aid of anyone else and to spend it on a place like this? Unthinkable. Different times, folks. Before the purges, of course.

      Luckily for us, the evils of state-run libraries are a thing of the past! Only materials pre-approved by the Yum! Brands Ministry of Offensive Literature will appear on our shelves (until their contract runs out, at which time the free market will guide us to a new sponsor).

      Now for today's interactive demonstration: As a parting gift, we're given you copies of the recent KFC™/Taco Bell™ Magazine bestseller, "The Fountainhead For Kidz: Ayn Rand is Ayn Rad!" everyone look under your seats! Oh, what's that? There are only 3 copies total, but there are 18 of you on this tour? What would John Galt do?"

      "Please remember to visit one of our numerous high-fee ATMs on the way out to be sure you have enough cash before leaving, because if you can't afford the toll on the Nestlé 405 [yes, they own pretty much everything in this fictional scenario], , otherwise you will not be able to physically reach your home until you can pay. If you choose to use the road without paying, and you use the road anyway, it'll be only hours before the Nestlé/Yum Brands joint task force on toll enforcement come and break down your door (which you'll have to reimburse your landlord for) and shoot your endangered pet red panda to count as payment for the transgression of driving for free on a road...

      Stupid brain... Stop.

  • This sounds like such bad idea. Just demolish them.

  • If I could buy a large abandoned mall, I would absolutely love to turn it into an affordable community housing complex where shops can be set up alongside the housing units. There's definitely more than enough space in any mall I've ever been to in America where you could easily renovate and turn stores into either single unit housing or maybe 2-3 units (big stores like JCPenney or Sears not included in this count because you could turn those into tens upon tens of units, assuming they're as big as the ones at the mall near where I live).

  • they've already started turning them into rental units because that's apparently the entire American economy now

  • In Austin (when I lived there) the main mall finally closed down in the 2Ks. It was obvious that nobody was going to pick it up so the city turned it into an Austin Community College campus.

  • Imagine how much money you could make by ripping off retired people who cannot leave the mall anymore due to old age.

    Not that I would endorse this. Combining retirement homes with retail sounds dangerous for the retired.

  • My current job is in an office/call center that used to be a Famous Barr at a mall. It's funny, I worked in that mall as a teen/early 20's. Now I'm back working at the fucking mall XD (tho now I'm provisioning telephone service and processing telecom orders, not sweeping up in a movie theater or trying to upsell people at a shop)

  • I've thought about this a lot, on account of infinite people having an insane amount of trouble just keeping consistent shelter over their heads. My gal had suggested this as a means for the homeless. I know that right now malls are being lent out to many individual small organizations (namely churches as far as I know it). But I am not sure this is sustainable as a whole. Due to maintenance costs, hazardous situations like mold and lack of privacy.

    I also think about how people keep saying cost of living is why people aren't having kids. But I have lived in multiple places that were once a much larger living space that had been jankily peacemealed into several much smaller apartments. I am a human that enjoys having space of my own, even if it's micro in nature. I can't imagine I am alone in that. And I don't believe people will want to further invest in divvying up spaces in malls. At least, unless they're getting kickbacks. And they'll probably do it in the worst of ways. Leading to spaces that will be barely sound and fast to degrade but slow to fix. I mean shelter is super duper important. But I swear to god your surroundings can affect your mental state. And when you're wedged together in a decaying mold filled building with a bunch of aging individuals facing a slew of different health-issues it'll probably deteriorate your wellness faster than if we tore the places down and utilized some sort of cheap eco-friendly building material/robo-builder to assist making healthier homes.

    Also mind you, I don't think we're gunna have beautiful low-income or middle-income homes if the greige, vinyl, orange-peel, chrome take-over points towards anything.

192 comments