Texas teenager accused of using poison to kill rival’s competition show goat
Aubrey Vanlandingham charged with animal cruelty after reportedly confessing to force-feeding pesticide to goat
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imagine going to jail because you just couldn't stand the thought of not having the "best goat," whatever the fuck that means. and no, if you know what that means, don't tell me--i refuse to have that information wasting space in my brain
"best goat"
Goat Of All Time
Rip in peace poisoned goat of all time goat.
A GOAT goat, if you will?
The best part is that it's recursive, like GNU.
Vanlandingham confessed to police that she deliberately poisoned the goat because she believed the animal’s owner was “a cheater”
How do you even cheat with a goat? The whole thing is ridiculous.
being in america, it's apparent that there are a large number of people (especially in red states) for whom part of the strategy is to accuse everyone else of cheating, all the time, no matter what.
projection
I'm not saying they're all the same, but 100% of the Vanlandingham's I have met in Texas have been rotten to the core. Real sociopaths. Smiling and friendly all while planting a knife in your back. And yes there's more than one example in my weird little anecdote. They eat their own children! (figuratively)
How do you even cheat with a goat?
Poisoning the opposition goats, I think
Steroids, perhaps? Do they judge how hard a goat can headbutt things? I don’t friggin’ know. Never mind.
I severely hope the best goat is the one that commits the most crimes at the fair.
Tell me you never attended a rural high school
They have merch
just as absurd as all the other bullshit animal contests that judge "contestants" based on completely arbitrary physical characteristics which lead to severely inbred, sick, miserable animals
people are so fucking stupid
Why do I find out about these things just after Christmas? Birthday it is, then!