Down the Old Leg

Hi, I had two curries for tea, and then went casino, and I started farting at the table. It was OK though, cause there was a ragged looking guy sitting next to me, and everyone thought he was the creator of the whiff. But then the dam broke, and before I had time to move, I had rivers of  stinking shit all in my pants and down my legs. But it was OK, cause ragged was still there. I was winning big, so was reluctant to make a move home, but in the end the silent farts had become a thing of the past, and I was exposed as the gruesome creator of foulness. I said sorry to everyone, and threw a couple chips at each, unfortunately they were partially shitstained as I had to scratch my arsemess. I picked up my chips, and ran for the door in the hope of avoiding covering the casino floor in my leakage, but the attempt, though valiant, was ultimately in vain. I'm gonna get someone to cash my chips for me, and not go back for two years. Might be OK then. Anyone had similar experience? Cheers 🙂