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How to sound like a smarty-pants without actually saying anything: A Few Tips

  • Any and all textual works can be decried as "lacking exigence", no matter their content.

  • Make vague references to "the canon". Do not explain what canon you're talking about.

  • Employ words like "ethic (singular)", "schema", "polity". It doesn't matter if you use them correctly, just use them.

  • Pick a noun or an adjective to use as a verb. Just give it your own definition and let the audience figure it out.

  • Use obtuse definitions of philosophical frameworks, like "it's about bodies moving through space". Do not elaborate or make it easier to tell what the fuck that's supposed to mean.

  • If someone is making a good argument that you don't like, say it's "reinforcing teleological norms" and refuse to engage with it any more.

  • And, of course, the classic: Anything you don't like is "deeply unserious".

thank u for coming to my ted talk

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