And this is why my head currently looks like a warzone
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Just buy a safety razor and throw everything else away.
Right? For everyone not just trimming the beard this is the way. I just switched to a safety razor recently and it's a much better solution. Cheaper, more sustainable, less skin irritation (once you find the right blade for you).
...and for those who are trimming their beard, hair clippers that plug into the wall are just fine.
💯
Unless you dont have power sockets in your bathroom.
Safety razor user here, but the only thing I let near my balls is an electric beard / body trimmer.