3mo ago

God was there....and that face

69 comments

Just keep in mind God doesn't think anal and oral sex (hopefully not in that order, but no shame you do you) counts according to some religious people i met.
- The legends of the poophole loophole are still spread to these days.
- He's definitely okay with oral. Provided you swallow.
  There is nothing outside a person that by going into him can defile him, but the things that come out of a person are what defile him.
  -- Mark 7:15
  
  Damn! Mark was one kinky motherfucker.
  
  He hung out with a bunch of dudes and the main guy's beard who was clearly just a prostitute he was paying to make the whole thing look legitimate. I mean obviously he'd be into this stuff.
- My understanding is that anal and oral are "wrong" in the same way masturbation is, it's spilling your seed outside of sex for procreation.
  But like, clearly a tier better than premarital sex so...
  
  If you believe Jesus, even looking at a woman with lust in your heart is equivalent to full-on adultery, so no tiers. Many Christians actually believe that and, for example, would treat discovering a partner watching porn as if they've discovered the partner cheating.
  
  That also isn't the moral of that story, despite what they tell you in Sunday school. Onan was punished because he didn't want to impregnate his brother's widow, which would have legally given his late brother an heir rather than Onan inheriting the property. Look up "levirate marriage".
  
  No one talks about the follow up to that story, where Onan’s dad Judah is like, “shit! this woman is trouble! I can’t lose my last son!” He basically tells Tamar (the widow) to go back to her dad, blows her off.
  Tamar gets sick of it, goes into town, disguises herself as a temple prostitute. Judah comes to town, asks what it costs for a roll in the hay, and she asks for his family’s token so she’ll know he’s good for it.
  She ends up pregnant, and the elders of the village bring her before Judah - “hey, your daughter in law was a whore and got knocked up, we are putting her to death.” He says, “who knocked you up?” - she produces the family token. He says “ah shit, you got me.” She has the kid, gets the inheritance. Depending on which gospel, she could be Jesus’s great (x a bunch) grandmother.
  Like Genesis outright recognizes what she did as right. She’s the hero of the story.
  
  The wording could just mean he pulled out.
  
  I’ve always wondered where the word “onanist” came (lol) from… I’m guessing from this ~~fairy tale~~ accurate historical account of genuine events.
  
  They're both considered sodomy
  
  Which is wild because that's like the least bad thing the Sodomites were up to (and Lot's whole family was pretty fucked too). But people will latch onto the flimsiest justification that reinforces their beliefs, in this case "gay dudes are icky."
- according to some religious people i met
  🥴
  
  Known Biblically
  
  This is so uninformative you would have been better off not saying anything at all.
  
  Knowing someone biblically is a well known euphemism, what are you talking about?

69 comments