I get so stressed out seeing my family. I love my dad and them, but I feel like such a failure.
My cousin just got her cert in childhood education, and I dunno. I feel left behind, alone. A black sheep, where my cousins are successful and I'm still floundering away trying to get anywhere.
I suppose it's easier for Dad to be proud of them, when they have done things to be proud of.
I know these are my own insecurities, and I'd never project onto anyone. But it's hard seeing my own success when I don't feel I've gotten anywhere at all, or done anything notable. I guess it would be nice if they reached out at all, but they only do when something is going on, and even then I've been forgotten lol
You have done the very hard work on being a better and healthy person. If you're the only one in your family who has done this it's not uncommon to feel a bit out of place. You think and feel and believe differently now.
And education is life long. Once you get into your stride you'll excel at everything and outshine them all.
So many hugs.
can I relate about my own sibs. They are all better off financially than me. While I was fighting the demons they accepted them and some even became demons themselves. They had the energy to do the socially easy things.