One of the crazy parts of growing up with a narcissist is recognizing that you are supposed to stop their bullshit. They are in charge as a parent, so being a fucking kid means you think them lying about shit to glorify their mistakes is what is supposed to happen. And to be safe you go along with it.
It is not pleasant to be expelled from an abusive, controlling, narcissistic family to the world only to become a mark to every dark triad person on the planet.
And to find the good in that world is nigh impossible without almost endless resources.
I grew up with a narcissistic, neglectful mother. It made me a stone cold liar. I'm so good at lying that I sometimes used to lie just for fun to see how crazy I could make it before someone would call me out on it.
That being said, with my child I'm a totally different person. I'm super honest with him. I tell him constantly how much I love him, how much he matters to me. I just have this aversion to do anything my mother would have done. My instincts tell me to do almost everything the exact opposite of what she would have done.