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When the Entrepreneur’s entire crew compliment has to move into the ship’s nacelles, the dangerous storm and the lack of personal space puts everyone on edge. But when the alien visitors who warned them about the wave turn out to be AWOL deserters, the militia men trying to steal the ship almost take their game of pollo with Captain Archer too far. What’s an everyday thang for Dr. Phlox? Does Reed have a support animal? Which new subbasement of Archer’s character has now been explored? It’s the episode that’s only half Under Siege.

This episode is part of a project called the Star Trek Pod Crawl. We’re a group of Star Trek podcasts raising money for science education by banding together and making special episodes about some of our favorite Star Trek films. Join us in supporting the National Center for Science Education and check out all other great podcast episodes in this series by visiting StarTrekPodCrawl.com

When Commander Tucker gets voluntold to repair an alien cryo-chamber, the beautiful woman inside turns out to be both a prisoner and a prissy storybook princess. But when they make their escape and land on a bog planet, a roll in the mud gets them to a place of mutual affection. When is Archer a good captain? What’s the next step after the international sign for choking? Who is guilty of Bob Dylan decision making? It’s the episode that contains a Menk, a Padma, and a wolf.

A special presentation of Wholesome. It's about Dungeons & Dragons.

When Hoshi and Trip take their very first transporter ride, Commander Tucker goes first and Hoshi feels shaken up when she rematerializes on the ship. But when no one is listening and she starts to actually disappear, her extremely anxious dream logic reveals what she thinks about her colleagues. What special skill does Linda Park have on the back of her headshot? How much hot water is available on the NX-01? Which is the most dangerous prop ever seen on Star Trek? It’s the episode that makes residue info a very sad word.

When the Entrepreneur pulls up to a swirly space system, the radiation it emits strickens the crew with a variety of mundane obsessions. But when T’Pol is unaffected and has to navigate them out, Reed being his regular self makes it possible for them to escape. What’s Ro Laren’s favorite episode of Enterprise? Who is the Chief O’Brien of the NX-01? Why don’t Vulcans bowl? It’s the episode that leaves it the Greatest Gen way.

When Bill Tilley appears to ask Ben and Adam some hard-hitting questions from the Friends of DeSoto, f/m/k becomes issue one. But after Bill repeatedly crashes his 1987 Plymouth Turismo, the guys start to wonder if they should push him out of the driver’s seat. When will Ben reach terminal levels of Josh? Will there ever be another Borgs storyline? How much of Ben and Adam’s business acumen is bit based? It’s the episode that thinks of Alfred Molina as THE guy from Boogie Nights.

When an away team returns from a pre-warp field trip, Reed realizes he didn’t do an idiot check before loading back into the shuttlepod. But when they return for the communicator with predictably terrible OPSEC, getting punched in the face repeatedly make the potential for cultural contamination so much worse. What does D’rone have for breakfast every morning? How else is Commander Tucker like a bloodhound? Which host scraps nasty? It’s the episode that carefully considers the implications of a beaded curtain.

When a new batch of gremlins graphically burst out of Gizmo’s back, Billy and Kate do everything they can to keep them from overrunning the Clamp Center. But when some experimental mutagens create a bevy of mutant gremlins, they threaten to overrun the streets of New York City. Is bat gremlin the gremlin we deserve, and not the gremlin we need? What’s the business model for the animal testing facility? When do we get an Aliens vs Gremlins franchise? It’s the episode that needs 25% more Futterman.

When a secret mission from the Vulcan High Command brings another of T’Pol’s past lives into focus, Captain Archer acts like a petulant baby until she invites him along to help out. But once they find Menos on an icy moon, T’Pol’s pickle-brine memories test the developing trust between her and Archer. Where do Vulcans keep their information? What’s one thing everyone knows about seat belts? Which type of trivia is in short supply? It’s the episode that’s been harboring pickle resentment.

When the stakes couldn’t be higher for the crew of the Cerritos, Relga shows up and starts serving Star Trek V energy. But when the nearby Schrödinger field creates quantum fuckery on both sides, Malor’s irrigation-based solution turns the angry red hole into a beautiful gateway. Does Relga’s lack of boob window convey something specific about her character? Which words are we no longer comfortable using? What was probably on the whiteboard for this entire series? It’s the episode that also wants to light a mattress on fire.

When the Entrepreneur stops at a deuterium mining colony, the very stressed out miners don’t seem willing to sell. But when Trip offers to help with facility repairs, Archer insists on teaching a man how to murder his bullies. Which cartoon character definitely has bodies? What could these Klingons use more of? Why is T’Pol keeping her badass-ness under a basket? It’s the episode that establishes a slickback timeline.

When it’s time to check back in with Captain William Boimler, he’s lost his love for hunting quantum fissures and he’s fed up with derivative multiverse characters. But when a two-pip Harry Kim shows up on board the Anaximander, it’s an alternate Mustard Mariner with the engineering skills to save the day. Who enjoyed colonoscopy prep more? When did movie trailers change forever? What’s the name of Starfleet’s official support garment? It’s the episode that’s blowing minds and blowing assholes!

When Captain Archer brings Porthos on an important diplomatic mission, peeing on a sacred tree earns the Kreetassans another elaborate apology. But when the pathogen Porthos picked up turns him into a puppet, Dr. Phlox starts digging into the psychology of Archer’s hot-headed reactions. Does the actor who plays Porthos have a side hustle? Who is a roll-off danger in a biobed? What will make a comeback on iPad 17? It’s the episode that’s dead inside in different ways.

When everyone on the Cerritos is suffering from main-character syndrome, a day in Captain Freeman’s life starts looking so much worse than just paperwork. But when Ransom tricks some ensigns into cooperating on their assignment, the senior staff have to fight off the Clickets in time for an anniversary dinner in Paris. Whose body is on the bridge between two major gastronomic events? Which ensign has fallen the farthest? Why keep an umbrella in the go-bag? It’s the episode that acts as its own Freeman AND Stevens.

When the Entrepreneur puts out a general distress call, what they get back are coordinates for a repair station nearby. But when they show up to find that nobody’s home, the price might seem too good to be true but the ship’s torpedos finally get to save the day. What’s the best way to mask the smell of fireworks? Where can you still find a Bunn coffee maker? Was it time to kill off Mayweather? It’s the episode that arrives pre-shaved!

When an away mission to a pre-warp planet is complicated by a time dilation, Boimler’s beverage-related accident puts the away team in an Inner Light situation. But when Tendi finds a purple Data head and gets him doing voiceover work again, the competition for Chief Science Officer on the Cerritos creates a power-supply arms race on the planet. How often is too often for taquito night? What should makeup departments everywhere make real? Could anything have avoided this type of transporter accident? It’s the episode that loves getting pre-warp in this particular way.

When the Entrepreneur wanders into an invisible minefield, a great big bomb blows open the ship before a second mine gets stuck to a sensitive part of the hull. But when Romulans arrive and start making threats, Reed’s near-death experience trying to diffuse the ordinance doesn’t bring him closer to the crew. What makes the A220 a great plane? Where is Reed’s hurt locker? Why do Starfleet spacesuits need a butt zipper? It’s the episode that has made up its mind about Reed.

When another problem ensign gets assigned to the Cerritos, Mariner becomes personally invested in her success aboard the ship. But when tedious diplomacy boils over into an all out shape war, Olly gets her mini redemption arc while Boimler learns the wrong lesson about just being himself. Which November thing is this story a metaphor for? What are employees in the post-scarcity future not as into? Why is it so easy to get a traumatic butt injury? It’s the episode that establishes gloves as canonically Star Trek.